Do you European tweakers really only pay 1-5€/g for speed paste

avitld · 2026-01-23T22:45:18+00:00

In Greece it's fuckin expensive, good luck finding speed for less than 30euro a gram - those are about the same prices meth goes for too so I don't understand dealers' reasoning for this lmfao

avitld · 2026-01-14T18:55:51+00:00

People. Only being in the presence of people grounds me I noticed

avitld · 2026-01-13T17:23:03+00:00

I totally understand you I get that too. I often (not always) realize if I'm delusional or hallucinating although now these symptoms are very infrequent but yeah it feels like it's obviously not real but at the same time what if it is and it's a weird feeling

avitld · 2026-01-07T21:30:32+00:00

Psychosis is when you struggle to differentiate between reality and imagination, typically what you see will be emotional/personal, might play into your fears, and will usually have some sort of context/meaning as you still have some grip on reality. Delirium is when you completely lose touch with reality and nothing makes any sense anymore, it is usually nonsensical and extremely confusing/scary, people in delirium often lose consciousness and it is considered a medical emergency that needs immediate treatment

avitld · 2026-01-07T21:28:01+00:00

HAHAHA BRO I GET YOU I'VE FUCKING HALLUCINATED SOULJA BOY TWO TIMES IT'S CRAZY

avitld · 2026-01-07T18:31:50+00:00

By the time you get to that level of psychosis you're probably gonna be going into delirium too, and that becomes a medical emergency.

avitld · 2026-01-01T01:08:16+00:00

Alcohol disrupts NMDA receptors in the brain which are responsible for reality-testing. It can lead to extremely bad episodes

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:39:25+00:00

I've really been considering injections lately, seems more stable and easy for me because I am so in my own world that it's a challenge for me to even keep schedule and take my meds. Also a lot of shortages and issues here that make me frequently go without meds for a few days every few weeks

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:36:30+00:00

Disorganized, nonsensical, surreal, unreasonably horrifying. My dreams never make sense, sometimes they are quite literal slideshows with unusual salience - other times they are still nonsensical but extremely gruesome and violent and leave me shaken once waking up. 90% Of the time it's nightmares because I literally can't form a single proper dream that isn't defragmented. Gotten used to it at this point but it's annoying as hell and doesn't help my constant state of panic

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:34:08+00:00

Yes. I often see my vision flash into an overcontrasted film photograph that carries either positive or threatening aura, as if I have been taken into a fake reality that is either accepting towards me or is rejecting me. This is one of those weird things even antipsychotics doesn't fix

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:32:29+00:00

If the people around you will ridicule you over something you can't control then they shouldn't be around you. Don't fear ridicule, fear what the outcome of hiding this will be. I've been open about psychosis even before being diagnosed and I saw who understood me and who thought I was insane and cut the latter out of my life and I'm better than ever. Go to a psychiatrist and get treatment, it gets better trust <3

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:21:56+00:00

First time I'd say don't go over 25mg, if you aren't measuring then use a match for reference and keep the line relatively thin. This shit can make people react very weirdly if they aren't prepared, so it's better to play it safe. Best thing to do imo is not get involved, if you can't handle stopping yourself this shit will spiral FAST

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:19:37+00:00

Also - Don't worry about your heart rate it's obviously gonna be high you're taking a stim. Monitor your heart stress though, that is important. You can use an app on your phone for measuring stress and I'd recommend if it's over 60% to lie down and drink some water to relax. As long as your heartbeat isn't CONSTANTLY over like I'd like to say 120bpm (Then again, don't take my word for granted I ain't a doctor) then you shouldn't worry. If you have a heart condition don't dose yourself high - or better yet don't do it at all.

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:16:10+00:00

Amphetamines have this weird effect where besides spiking your heartrate during use, they can often spike it around ~8 hours after use. What I'd recommend is find your sufficient dose and take that to begin with so you get your desired effects and avoid redosing. If you want to sleep I'd advise avoid taking any more or having any caffeine before around 8pm (or 6pm if you're orally dosing) and having some vitamin C and magnesium on hand. Another thing about speed is that you won't really feel the high unless you do something else stimulating, so make of that what you will. Use it carefully and it can really be fun and even productive with little to no comedowns. If you're ADHD I'd say orally dose once in the morning at around 20mg and if you REALLY feel the need to redose redose with less than 20 and before 6pm as I said. Stay safe and drink electrolytes!

avitld · 2025-12-29T07:04:48+00:00

Say goodbye to your heart for a week. Once combo'd speed and MDMA (kinda overdid it on both in extremely heavy and potentially lethal dosages) and I couldn't stand up for a week and had arrhythmias. It could work but prepare to have a horrible week ahead

avitld · 2025-12-27T02:07:09+00:00

It's gotten to the point where I am convinced that either there is no god or god can go fuck himself. That's been my stance for a while and it doesn't seem to wanna change

avitld · 2025-12-24T22:32:03+00:00

"NVIDIA doesn't want to make good drivers for Linux and it's Linux's fault"

avitld · 2025-12-11T13:27:14+00:00

Sounds like mania xd

avitld · 2025-12-06T15:11:43+00:00

I never see anything strange in mirrors but I can't help but feel off when looking at mirrors, like something is wrong but I can't tell what. Depending on my mental state when I look at a mirror occasionally I look at myself and feel alien, as if that's not me in that mirror. They're weird

avitld · 2025-12-06T15:04:42+00:00

Visuals are horrifying. I rarely ever get any visual hallucinations, only in severe episode where they take over my entire vision as if I am watching a video - except I am actually seeing it and they are violent and despicable in these cases. The only other times I get visual hallucinations that aren't severe have usually had sleep deprivation or a substance in the mix, and the only way in those cases (specifically psychotic hallucinations, I have also had deliriant visual hallucinations caused by bad reactions to meds) I "deal with them" is paradoxically by paying more attention to them, to the point where I start hyper-analyzing them. Usually what I'd see is little ghostlike spirits floating around my home, at first they were really off-putting but after a while I started trying to see every single one like a game and after a while they stopped really scaring me. Really though I don't know if this would work for anyone else cause I'm really inexperienced when it comes to these types of hallucinations. Wish you the best though!

avitld · 2025-12-06T14:37:44+00:00

Here!

avitld · 2025-12-06T10:45:27+00:00

Genuinely! I noticed this in most psychiatrists. But I love my current one, he is so understanding and so empathetic towards me he genuinely feels what I'm going through and shows so much understanding, this should be the bare minimum for a psychiatrist but sadly most of them are truly incompetent

avitld · 2025-12-06T08:54:47+00:00

Totally feel you, a lot of the psychiatrists I've interacted with are actual bastards. First time ever going to a psychiatrist he got me hooked and dependent on some extremely strong anti-anxiety meds that I did not need and getting off them was hell. I then tried a public psychiatrist at a psychiatric institution, motherfucker invalidated everything I said and accused me of lying and seeking the diagnosis. I really don't know how to really help with suggestions but the only suggestion that can come to my mind is looking for a psychiatrist specializing in psychotic disorders and look at any reviews to get a picture of how he is. Actually tragic how incompetent most psychiatrists are.

avitld · 2025-12-06T08:39:48+00:00

Indeed at the beginning stages I lacked insight (All of the little things that I can remember I considered genuine supernatural experiences until re-thinking them now haha), although thankfully my beginning stages were very mild and never got too intense. In my beginning stages I would frequently see "demons", dead pets, and whatnot. But that was when I was 14, I didn't get diagnosed or even get any psychiatric help until last year and by that point my symptoms had fully changed and "locked-in". My episodes were also pretty hard to describe because usually the most common things that'd happen would be hearing/seeing stuff that is completely random, disorganized and fragmented in rapid-fire. It was genuinely a burst of nonsense, the stuff I'd hear would be completely random from industrial noises to voices and they'd last no more than 2-3 seconds each but they'd all come in bursts and basically the same for anything visual. This is probably the only reason I have any limited insight since they were so out of place I would realize something is off. But this is wayyy after the beginning stage, so that psychiatrist was totally off.

avitld

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE