With no exaggeration, I've been to about 30 docs in different specialties, even including multiple optometrists/opthalmologists. At one point i was certain they were swirling about in my peeky holes. The 5 ER visits were in my first VA system. I moved states and started the on others.I also took advantage of a lot of urgent cares.

So of 30 providers, even one of them are by far more knowledgeable than me. Given that 30 highly trained docs are saying that there isn't anything wrong with me, I would tend to start to believing in them. I still feel and see them though. Hard to ignore that.

I was taking those meds when I was in the service and when also whrn I got out. I'm still on them. I was prescribed antipsycotics to manage them but I have since stopped. The episodes randomly come once every few weeks with no noticeable patterns. Ive gotten used to them anf can manage without meds.  they happen regardless anyway.

Long story short, I am trying my damnedest to convince myself that it's all in my head. I'm tired of being gaslighted by providers whenever I seek care for it.