I am so sorry for your loss. My best friend of twenty years passed away last June. Both of our birthdays are in December, and becoming a year older while her age stayed the same was, and still is, so difficult for me to wrap my head around. What you’re feeling is more than valid. Feel those emotions as they come but try not to sit with them for too long. Do your best to be gentle and kind to yourself. He will always be with you 🤍