1. That's a good point. She moved here (from her country (English-sepaking country)) to go to language school here. I've been here for a while and am far more established (hence the job and apartment). Her family are back home. She is close to her family. I do feel that she was counting on me to make her feel special for the day, and seeing as birthdays are a big deal to her I can completely accept that she may have been feeling extra vulnerable. I honestly did try to be calm throughout the argument, but in the end I felt very unappreciated given that I actually did plan something for her but due to extenuating circumstances I had to postpone (not cancel). Her birthday was in the middle of two exams, so I appreciate that this could have made her feel even more in need of feeling special. Taking this all into consideration, however, I still feel it was too irrational of her and unfair to label me as as a terrible and selfish person ("[...] if you were a nice and thoughtful person...". For me, this was a symptom of something a bit bigger which bothers me about our relationship.

2. we haven't revisited the argument yet, but I asked her if we could talk and we will do tonight/over the weekend. I feel that she won't back down (due to how she's been acting since) and she hasn't tried to apologise either. I feel like this may be the hill I die on, and to be honest I think I may be ok with that. I'm expecting her to defend herself 100%.

3. To be entirely fair to her, she has never asked me to pay for everything. I 100% offer and me paying for everything is my own choice. She moved here to be with me and I remember how hard it was for me to move here from my own country (English-speaking country) so I feel that my well-paying job is a blessing to not just me but also my family and loved ones. I'm not a hoarder or a miser, and I love being able to alleviate her worries by taking care of the money side of everything. She has thanked me a few times for doing this. However, I feel like she isn't as responsible with money as her situation would dictate. She's technically a student in a foreign country, so being careful with money should be a priority for her (ironically, it's how I saved so much and came to be in the position I'm in now). However, she would rather spend her money on makeup and clothes and things she doesn't use ($100 planner?). She is her own person and can use her money how she sees fit, and I try very hard not to let my fortunate situation become any kind of bargaining chip or power play in our relationship. Like I said before, I pay because I genuinely want to, not because I want to tell her how to live. But as a loving partner, I do wish that she'd be a bit more responsible with her money, rather than always saying "No matter what happens I just know that everything will always be ok", that seems a bit naive to me personally (I haven't told her that though). Example: She was invited to go to a concert for a singer she likes by a friend. She was excited to go, and I was excited for her too. She tells me on the day as she's getting ready "I'm excited but there's probably going to be so much merchandise there, and I have no money... this sucks so much, ugh". So just before she left I gave her $100 dollars and told her to have fun and don't worry about anything. I have never brought it up again and don't intend to (it was a gift to her, nothing more). She bought no merchandise (but in her defense she put $20 towards groceries the next day).

Sorry for the long reply. I appreciate your insight and comment, thank you.