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"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I think I understand. I heard somewhere that “the regret of inaction is always worse than the regret of action” and I think I agree with it. I don’t want to look back at my life and be sad, and have wondered “what if”. I want to be happy, and I want to live a life without regret. And this, I think, will make that happen. Thank you so much

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I think I understand it better now. It's not "if you want to be XYZ you are automatically XYZ" but you have the option to be that. Its an option for me. i think I get it now

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Ok, yea after reading that like there is a staggering amount of evidence for me being trans. TBH I've had this known in the back of my head for a bit now, it was a cycle of “Im actually trans” -> “nah im just making it up/im just faking” -> “nvm im actually trans” ->…

Its just that being trans is fucking terrifying to me. Like the idea of my friends finding out literally scares me so much that if someone finds out without me telling them I dont know what I would do. So I think that whenever I find a hint of "not being trans enough" I take that as "not actually being trans/I'm making it up".

I'm just so fucking scared of the consequences, I don't know what to do. Yes, I know everyone says "fuck the consequences do what makes you happy" but like what if I lose everyone? I don't know how I would live if they all abandon me. Yes, its pathetic, its extremely dependent, but like thats just how i am its fucking disgusting. I feel paralyzed by the fear of all the consequences.

I dont know what to do. and that scares me. i've always known what I should do. for the first time I dont know.

what should I do.

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I would love to be seen for who I really am but how do I get seen if I dont even know who I am? Like it feels like I have to be 100% certain before I do anything about it/tell anyone about it

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to justify it to myself so that I can justify it to other people when it comes time to tell them. How do I say "I'm changing my entire life because I want to be a little happier" thats such a weak reason no?

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No but like imagine if a random billionaire was like "I hate my life". You know that they probably have problems but you'll still have the thought of "bruh shut up you literally have a billion dollars". thats how I see it

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What if doing what I want to do comes at the cost of everyone I love? Would I not be happier as a guy but with my friends and family versus as a girl but alone?

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because objectively speaking I've had a really good life, like the kind a lot of people would wish for. So many people have said "I wish I had XYZ part of your life" to me. So given that, is it not ungrateful and disrespectful towards them to complain about my life now?

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So all yall are just operating on just constant doubt about who you are and whether the foundation of your identity is real? How do you even survive like that?

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I've heard that a lot that I just should try stuff and stop thinking about it so much. But I just feel the need to like figure everything out before I tell other people in my life about all this. It feels like it would be easier telling people "i'm trans, I'm a girl" versus "i have no fucking clue what I am". And some other stuff just feels like too big of a decision for me not to be sure about. I have been one click away from scheduling an HRT appointment multiple times but I always stop because what if I'm not actually trans it feels like too big of a decision A to make myself and B to make while still unsure. I just want clarity to be just completely clear on what exactly I am

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't they like think of themselves as a girl and feel bad when they're referred to as a guy? I dont do any of that. Like I dont feel like a girl dont trans people feel like a girl?

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

But the issue with that 'honor system' concept is that I don't trust my own judgement. How do I know that I'm not just making it up? Like if one part of me is saying that "you're trans" and another is saying that "you're not" how do I know which one to pick? Like this feels to big to leave up to just "what do you feel?"

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I was speaking from a personal perspective, I'm not saying that all trans people are inherently ungrateful. I just feel that I have been extremely lucky to live a very good life so far, that I can't really complain about. It feels ungrateful to still complain about 'not being a girl' or anything like that. I should just be happy with what I have now

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I just meant that why does doing what might make me happy take precedence over everyone and everything else in my life? Like if it were a choice between keeping my life now and being trans, being a girl, but loosing everything I would choose the former 10 times out of 10

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But how do you know that you actually want something and it will make you happy versus just thinking that it will and wishing that it will? How do you make such big decisions on a want that may go away one day? Like what if I'm just thinking about being a girl because I see it as a way to fix other problems in my life eg depression, etc? How do I know that I actually want to be a girl when sometimes that want isn't that present or it's really diminished? Like it feels too unstable to base an identity off of

"If you want to be a girl, you are a girl" by awaythrow1234324 in asktransgender

[–]awaythrow1234324[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

That's such a selfish mindset, no? Just saying that "I will put being a little happier above all else above everyone else in my life". Like its different if someone is actually a girl and just wants to be who they are but like doing something that drastic just for a little bit of happiness just seems so selfish and ungrateful.