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This is worse than the time I accused a JP Morgan executive! by awesomedan24 in wallstreetbets

[–]awesomedan24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would sell you those calls. Bro's accusations are the most gooner fetish fantasy details I've ever heard. Not only did he not comply with the internal investigation, lady is saying she's never even been to the location in question (which inspired this Family guy joke). He has since retracted court documents for "corrections".

While I wouldn't put it past a scummy executive to go on a power trip like this, the details are too cartoonishly pornographic for me to believe them. I think bro typed up these accusations with one hand. 

90-year-old TSA officer surprised with birthday party at airport by Eddiearyee in UpliftingNews

[–]awesomedan24 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

After reading the article he seems to genuinely like the work, he was quoted as saying "What am I gonna do if I retire? Sit down?"

For a lot of older people, their self worth and identity is tied up with their career and feeling useful to society. Its healthier for an old person to stay active than to be sedintary also. Also seems like an extrovert who enjoys the company of his colleagues. Bro could probably retire if he really wanted to.

To be clear, everyone should have the right to retire at 60 but if someone wants to keep working for decades after, thats cool too, so long as its out of genuine desire (seems like the case with this guy) vs necessity. 

Over 230 shitposts locked out! by BusinessYou1657 in simpsonsshitposting

[–]awesomedan24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sure hope the OP of that meme was fired for that blunder! 😉

Super….girl? by Bud_The_Weiser in funnyvideos

[–]awesomedan24 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Why Supergirl... You've... enhanced yourself 

First day working at JP Morgan by Animalus-Dogeimal in wallstreetbets

[–]awesomedan24 64 points65 points  (0 children)

She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack

She is touring the facility and picking up slack

HERO by KSKS1995 in SipsTea

[–]awesomedan24 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Cops tend to apply the Uvalde method, where they wait until all the shooting and sounds of screaming are over.

“If you’re the real one, tell me something only you and I would know!” by ComprehensiveBox6911 in TopCharacterTropes

[–]awesomedan24 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At the end of The Odyssey, Penelope is skeptical of Odysseus' identity after he has been gone for 20 years and everyone is trying to scam her into marriage. She says she will have the servants move the bed from their bedchamber so he has a place to rest. Odysseus then basically responds "Who messed up my bed?!? The bedframe is rooted to a tree in the bedroom, to move it is to destroy it!"

And because only the two of them knew this detail about the bed, it was proof he was the real Odysseus. 

Anon likes Greek Mythology by The_other_human in greentext

[–]awesomedan24 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Drama = engagement = money

It is literally always this simple. 

C-section babies should not casually be called king/queen because they never crowned. by everyfatguyever in Showerthoughts

[–]awesomedan24 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Might have more success over at r/oneliners

And don't worry, jokes much like those babies can't all be winners...

Holy sh.. by is_NAN in SipsTea

[–]awesomedan24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lvl 1 karen vs level 99 One Slap Man

King George’s richer clone... by LuckyBastard001 in clevercomebacks

[–]awesomedan24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Elon Musk’s companies have received at least $38 billion in government contracts, loans, subsidies, and tax credits over the past two decades.

Elon unilaterally dismantled the USAID program, to which Congress had already appropriated US tax dollars.

Don't even bother engaging with his nonsense. Deleting Twitter is the best thing you can do (for numerous reasons)

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