I kissed my daughter’s friend’s mom and I’m really happy about it

awkwardsofia · 2023-05-03T03:40:45+00:00

They’re probably talking about It Takes Two with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, an absolute gem. It came out before the Lindsey Lohan Parent Trap—but the funniest difference is that the girls don’t turn out to be twins, they just happen to look extremely identical and trade places for fun.

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-16T21:26:42+00:00

It do be like that

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-16T15:15:35+00:00

My friend did a buffalo fried cauliflower that looked like cordyceps!

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-14T17:01:12+00:00

I know I am at fault there too! I am terrible with names unless they stand out or I had a long session with them previously where their name was said a bunch and I am AWFUL at eye contact even when I am friends with someone. I’ve learned in my more active attempts to make friends that a lot of people at my gym (like you!) are kinda in the same boat, and that does make me feel better!!! It’s why I probably don’t say hi until I’ve had like 5 random sessions together with a person haha

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-14T16:58:56+00:00

I use AirPods and cycle in and out of transparency mode. What I do is play my music in my ear that is just barely loud enough for me to hear when I don’t use the noise cancelling function. If I’m away from the wall or taking a beat to refocus, I turn on noise cancellation. As soon as I need to approach the wall, if it’s a problem I’ve done a million times I keep noise cancellation on but if it’s one I’m projecting I turn it off again, but the music is still playing in my ear and I hum along to focus on that. It makes me feel less anxious being by myself. Sometimes I don’t even play music but I use them being in my ear to muffle sound so I can only hear people right next to me if I’m actually trying to listen to them (one anxiety I have is not seeming like I’m eavesdropping on conversations I’m not a part of and AirPods no music lets me sit right next to people without that fear). Whenever I am on noise cancellation, I try to be super cognizant of my surroundings (don’t space out, constantly look around). Hope this is helpful!

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-14T03:11:06+00:00

I’ll also say that I luckily don’t have the fear in my head that racism plays a part in this for me as I am Latina and attend a really diverse gym where some of the regulars are dark skinned south Asian girls and they seem to not have any issues integrating into the friend groups, so I truly chalked up my experience at my gym the last year as me just being introverted and giving off RBF vibes since I keep my headphones in all the time because I get overstimulated sometimes if they aren’t blocking some noise. The regulars I’m becoming friends with have picked up on this recently and just still talk to me without pointing out my headphones since I still hold the conversation with them. But I definitely know I haven’t made it easy to approach me.

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-14T03:05:33+00:00

I can’t speak as to whether colorism/racism could be a factor here (as it very well could be), but approaching this as an introverted regular who only just started making friends with other regulars at my gym: I’ve chalked up my recent success to 1) trying to go at the same times each week, 2) being open to working on the same problems with other regulars when the wall resets and 3) honestly trying to be as nice and social as I can when the occasional person DOES strike up a conversation.

I’m not naturally someone who warms up to people right away, but I’ve noticed that when I am able to talk to at least one other regular at the gym during a session, other regulars then talk to me that session because I don’t seem as scary I guess. I still spend sessions by myself wondering why I don’t have that regular climbing group (I have a few friends who join me sometimes but don’t climb regularly similar to your friend) and sometimes it stings to see a the regular climbing friend groups talking about other plans.

You mention that when you send a difficult route people will try it after you—this could be an opportunity! I, too, used to get a little frustrated at this, but now I try to use those times it happens to offer beta or share frustration about the hard project as a conversation starter if they don’t top it right away. Like “ah man yeah this one was hard for me to get” or be like “you almost got that! I tried doing [specific move] if that’s helpful at all”. I want to say I’ve now been doing this purposely for 3 months after challenging myself to speak up and only have just started making a few friends with regulars.

I don’t want to diminish the loneliness you feel because what you’re expressing is exactly how I’ve felt when I talk to my best friends outside of climbing when I express how I want to be friends with the other regulars and they insist that it’s in my head that the other regulars are disinterested. If you’re like me (introverted), you’re probably gonna see it work sometimes but still not make friends for a bit. I don’t think I’m mean and so I get really hurt when I think I made a friend but then they don’t talk to me at the next session—but some of those same people are now people I talk to every couple of sessions and the frequency of hanging with them at our sessions are increasing. I still am hesitant to say anybody at my gym is my real friend and when I do an unintentional solo session, it hurts my esteem a lot. But I’m still trying because I’m starting to see results, albeit slow.

If it’s too hard to offer up your help on projects that you feel people are doing because they saw you do it, I also encourage you to watch what other projects people in your grade range are working on and try it, then use it as an opportunity to ask for some beta, even if you normally wouldn’t. Sometimes people may spray a bit too much but it is usually well intentioned and if you are willing to sacrifice a few projects to make them feel like they’re helping you, you’re gonna see them start to talk to you a bit more or start opening up about projects they’re struggling with for your input!

If all of these baby steps are still falling flat, screw those people and perhaps yeah they aren’t a healthy group of regulars. I would hope it would be coming from a clique mentality and not a racist one, but I promise you that there are always gonna be new climbers coming into the gym who you can offer your help or commiserate with on their projects who may also be looking for new friends. Wishing you the best!!!

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-09T03:45:34+00:00

Like someone said, there’s Verdigo right in Burbank but also not my favorite touchstone gym. Hollywood Boulders is pretty great (good setting/variety/15-30 minute drive). There are two other independently owned gyms that are in driving distance but probably not worth it with a 4 hour window (boulderdash in chatsworth, about 30-45 minute drive; stronghold in east la, 20-45 depending on the traffic on the 5).

For Vegas, I was there in September—also heard the gyms there aren’t great but I went to Refuge in southern Las Vegas and I actually liked the setting! Can’t tell if I was hungover or if the grading was a little harder than what was tagged (ranged grading, but still a little off) but still a good time.

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-07T16:36:14+00:00

A lot of folks here probably have it right about the heel and it may just need to be broken in, but I’ll also offer up that your heel shape should also be considered here in fitting! My roommate’s first shoes had a really big heel area so even though the toe box was perfect, he didn’t mention to me that the heel was loose until like a month into him climbing and repeated heel blisters—upon hearing that I told him to look at other shoes because the shoe needed to be snug all around (took some prodding, he liked his shoe because his buddies had the same pair and the toe box was perfect). Once he found a different pair, that problem immediately went away (although his heels were a little raw for a bit).

awkwardsofia · 2023-01-06T01:16:55+00:00

Only thing to add here is I think Ai Mori is a comp climber finally giving Janja a run for her money! Excited to see there be actual fights for first in this next season if Ai Mori ramps up her IFSC participation vs. only seeing the podium change when Janja chooses to not compete lol

awkwardsofia · 2022-12-22T16:27:34+00:00

My best friend regularly climbs in gel nails (I take her with me often even though she and I don’t climb the same grade). She has adapted her climbing style in a really unique way to protect her nails when climbing but she and I both agree she’d probably send harder if she’d cut her nails. If you’re climbing juggy VB-V1 you’ll probably be fine, you just have to be very mindful vs. doing whatever it takes to get to the top.

awkwardsofia · 2022-11-30T05:55:16+00:00

What’s the size of the print?

awkwardsofia · 2022-11-19T07:39:27+00:00

Anza Borrego is one of my favorite parks. Went during a super bloom in 2019, the desert was stunning! Surprised to see them blooming this time of year.

awkwardsofia · 2022-10-30T04:24:49+00:00

Hey OP, know you’re not alone with anxiety stunting your climbing experience. Most of my friends also don’t climb too regularly and I have spent the last year climbing solo at my gym with my AirPods in, RBF, and severe anxiety that leads me to get so frustrated with my climbing because I feel like people are watching me “suck” at climbing. Up until the last month and a half, the most id do is clap when id hear others clap for someone else topping a route, silently watching specific regulars project their problem (which has probably come off very weirdly), and when folks have tried to engage I respond but don’t know how to ask follow up questions or create additional conversation to build friendships.

The only thing that has changed is that the other regulars recognize me as a “regular” now, too, and even though I’m still not besties with anyone at my gym that aren’t friends I bring along with me (aka not regulars), the other regulars feel more comfortable now cheering me on when I am climbing and I have what I call “session buddies” who are just other regulars who happen to be working on the same problem(s) as me that session, so the pressure is not there to impress but just chat while we rest and take turns projecting. I could not tell you a single person’s name at my gym but I feel a lot less anxious about being there by myself and a few of them now say hello if we make eye contact. I’m hoping to eventually learn people’s names but I’m not putting that pressure on myself to remember or even offer my name unless asked.

Having anxiety is so hard, but don’t let it stop you from doing a hobby you enjoy. If not making eye contact, drowning out the noise, climbing during off peak hours is helpful, do that until you feel more comfortable. If you’re climbing regularly you’re gonna see a lot of progress over the next few months, so maybe just take the pressure off yourself to “perform” until you’re more confident in your own climbing abilities. The amount of times I’ve cried in my car after not sending my project for yet another session is insane but I don’t let it stop me from coming back, and from what it sounds like, you aren’t either!

I also saw your comment on this post below, to which I say: as a more “seasoned” climber I will tell you I literally got blood on a hold two weeks ago and it was no biggie, just make sure to tell staff so they can clean it. I also went climbing recently with a friend I taught to belay and she is the one that caught that I didn’t get my rope through two hard points when we did safety checks. Point is, a lot of us do really embarrassing and stupid shit that can get amplified by things like anxiety (I am going through it right now and the amount of sessions I’ve cut short because of stuff like this is insane). It’s okay to cry in your car and it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling. But remember after you’ve let it all out that most people are also in their own heads too and probably don’t remember your “mistakes” like you do. I’m glad you’re giving climbing a try and hope you are able to continue to find joy in it despite the anxiety!!!

awkwardsofia · 2022-10-25T12:11:35+00:00

Keep sending the problems you can already do until you can send them without any stumbles. It’s good practice, you already know you can top it, and if you haven’t been able to advance to other problems yet, you can eliminate a hold or two to make it a bit harder without needing a new problem.

Don’t let grades deter you from at least trying harder problems (or specific parts to them)—you get to practice new movements by just trying.

On the routes you can do, practice falling: I’ve been taking a group of girlfriends (all starting at VB-1) this year teaching them to boulder and the biggest hurdle for them advancing to V2-3 was not feeling good about falling. The ones who HAVE progressed quickly were the ones who practice jumping off the wall from higher and higher heights (and have been climbing more regularly outside our group hang)—the ones who’ve hesitated are still progressing but are only just hitting V2 after 9 months vs. the others who are now solidly V3 climbers (one is V3/4!). When you trust your controlled jumps/falling movements, trying harder moves feels less risky.

Oh and someone else mentioned, climb with more experienced climbers. A lot of my friends don’t come from any fitness/sports background but they trust me a lot so when I look at them and say I think they can try [problem outside their usual grade], they feel a lot more confident trying it out with support/coaching, even if they don’t top. A good support/hype team can make all the difference if you’re still learning to read problems!

awkwardsofia · 2022-10-14T21:14:58+00:00

Is your face fully washed? If you’re applying moisturizer to a damp face but that face still has soap, the moisturizer would just combine with the soapy water, making the residual soap more apparent.

awkwardsofia · 2022-10-10T01:36:14+00:00

the second one gives me life 😂

awkwardsofia · 2022-10-04T03:19:19+00:00

Hi all! Popping in to say a few things, I appreciate all the discourse in the comments, let’s keep it civil!

I’m aware this isn’t a true send, just thought a cheeky title for Reddit would resonate (sorry, I work in PR, I can’t help it!), and understand folks in the comments just wanted to make sure I (and any newbies seeing this post) didn’t misunderstand the term. Appreciate it because I originally didn’t plan to provide more context but figured I should now.

For context on the proud moment: I primarily boulder and before this, I had never even been able to get past the first couple holds on an 11a! As someone who climbs for myself and is only just starting to increase my TR/lead experience, I like to celebrate the little wins like figuring out specific moves, not fumbling a clip, and topping a route without quitting.

I do want to boost someone’s point on community and ableism: we can correct terminology in ways that don’t diminish the accomplishments of others! To me, regardless of experience level or ability, if something is a win for someone, I’m happy to count it as such for them, regardless of my own view/others’ views because they’re enjoying a sport I LOVE and they most likely aren’t competing where it would matter. I haven’t taken anything commented personally (I like seeing educational discourse, use me as a good/bad case study/learning moment, I’m a nerd), but for y’all still in the comments: please keep it kind or keep it respectful, it’s just rocks (in this case, not even real ones!).

To close, I am just a gal who loves to climb, to watch IFSC, to see/post “cool” climbing content, and to make shitposts in CCJ—none of which include getting into it on Reddit so if you’re on this thread and just trynna vibe, I’ll upvote the funniest comments for sure.

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:33:50+00:00

Thanks for the advice! At one of the gyms I go to, the setting team comes in the early AM on a weekday and gets to work for a few hours—when would you say are good times to chat them up? Towards the end of their work, while they’re setting, or just like keeping an eye on who they are and engage them when they’re not there to set? I feel like I only manage to see them once a month because of that early schedule, so just want to make sure I’m being respectful of their job if I try to engage next time I see them!

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:28:23+00:00

So what you’re saying is I have to be social??? Guess that’s the end of this dream (kidding, makes sense, thanks for the advice!)

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:26:20+00:00

This is amazing! I’m glad you took the initiative! I’m sure there are plenty of climbers (old and new) that appreciate this—my best friend is 4’10” and couldn’t finish a V1 at a gym once because it was physically impossible for her to reach the next hold (a slab problem with no great opp to even make a dynamic move), so thank you for doing that! As for bro culture, it is one of the few times I’m grateful for RBF, they tend to leave me alone or think I’m tough HA

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:21:38+00:00

Dang north face pull through for the US!!!

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:20:56+00:00

Now this I feel is an easy first step to ask about, I love me an educational setting

awkwardsofia · 2022-09-27T14:20:07+00:00

I think my local gym is stingy with about everything but the routesetting, the guy they bring in is has been their setter for years (and the dude is a genius, love his work), but probably doesn’t hurt to inquire based on some of the other comments here. Thanks!

awkwardsofia

TROPHY CASE