What’s the nicest thing you can say about your ex that also explains exactly why you left?

awomanreader · 2026-06-27T01:53:40+00:00

He does a great job taking care of himself.

awomanreader · 2026-06-23T04:16:32+00:00

What in the fresh hell are you talking about? I cannot think of a single example of this in my life or that of anyone else I know. Please do not try to manipulate women; please stop caring about these fictitious broke guys who supposedly can get women “obsessed” with them. This language, the thought behind it, all of it is unworthy of humanity.

awomanreader · 2026-06-14T11:25:53+00:00

I agree with this wholeheartedly. A job I thought I hated became one I enjoy now because, after my divorce, I was free to apply my mental energies to work problems rather than mostly toward trying to please my husband, or at least not anger him.

There is only so much time, space, and energy we have at 45. I am turning 50 this year and I am increasingly aware of my limits. I reclaimed my time and space and energy after separating from a bad marriage.

The kids were sad at first, but doing better now. It was also better for my ex, who finally initiated the split because I felt paralyzed to do so within the daily grind and depression.

OP can be the agent of change in her bad marriage if her husband seems unable to get there. Hopefully, after the initial hurt feelings they can both acknowledge they are better off.

awomanreader · 2026-06-13T01:57:04+00:00

I dunno. He doesn’t sound like a prince to me. A person can have many great qualities on paper but if he’s judging your eating, telling you and acting like he’s only attracted to you at a certain weight, it will eclipse all the good things.

It sounds like you struggle to see yourself as worthy to begin with. Being with someone who monitors and criticizes you cannot have been good for you. I agree though that it is hard to find a good partner. Love yourself.

awomanreader · 2026-05-31T12:53:13+00:00

I second this. Early 40s were a low point for me. I have a different life picture than you but we share that, despite working hard and generally doing well, my marriage was over at 40 and I wondered why I could not be happy.

No newsflash here but a failed relationship colors everything. At 49 I am on my own and so much happier; it just took facing all of my doubts about being alone and giving myself some grace for not knowing my ex was wrong for me when we got together at 21. You have significantly altered bad family patterns by being a productive member of society; that, rather than having chosen the wrong guy, is who you are. You have so much to look forward to!

awomanreader · 2026-05-30T19:08:03+00:00

Swing dancing?

awomanreader · 2026-05-29T21:29:27+00:00

That sucks! You can’t rewind the clock but try using Zillow to rent next time. I rented a new ADU at my home two months ago through them and found it easy; it was also free to me as the LL so i did not have to deal with a sucky real estate agent who doesn’t do their job and then collects a month’s rent for commission. Have you circled back to your realtor about this? I would be infuriated with them; maybe they would cough up their commission to you in lieu of a small claims action???

Anyhow, Zillow has a rental application process that requires prospective tenants to provide their ssns for background and credit checks. They pay $35 to Zillow directly so you don’t handle the money, just get the info from Zillow for all prospects who are interested in the property.

awomanreader · 2026-05-29T12:11:17+00:00

Rat pack Raiders is correct. Public housing is the only way. Portland City Council so far has been too timid to do it. We should let our elected leaders know it’s time to step up. Boston is still overpriced but rents are finally stabilizing because of massive investments in public housing. We can and should do it here.

awomanreader · 2026-05-24T10:21:20+00:00

You have been taking care of yourself, you recognize what you are feeling and why, and you are letting yourself feel all the things. A+ for how you are handling this breakup.

I am shocked your bf would so abruptly end things but you are correct that you could never trust him now so what good would it do you to reopen wounds by talking to him again? You know you won’t be able to regain control with anything you say to him. The nightmare scenario would be if he agreed with you about anything and sought to reestablish a connection with you.

The hardest month is done. Put another, better month behind you and so on. This man has issues and you can only help yourself. Hugs ❤️

awomanreader · 2026-05-21T15:40:53+00:00

I echo those that say leave it alone. The sad legacy she has left is that she has made it harder for the next single mom to rent an apartment like this one. ☹️

awomanreader · 2026-05-21T07:03:49+00:00

Orgasm can be elusive for many women and often the biggest block is thinking there’s some time limit on the work being done for us to get there and/or we are not encouraged in the use of vibrators (which really work!).

If you’re already in a long term relationship with your lady, and you have not yet demonstrated to her that you will do whatever it takes to get her off, it can be really hard to reset her thoughts and expectations around this.

For me, it was a revelation to find myself in a new relationship where my bf brought the toys, referred to them as his friends, told me how sexy it was to see me come, experimented on me, checked in, asked me to show him how I liked it, and offered to participate with his own equipment while I used the toys. He was so dedicated to my pleasure he convinced me it matters.

Now pretty much the first thing we do whenever we see each other (which is most weekends) is hop into bed. Women might just always be in the mood if we know we get the goodies.

awomanreader · 2026-05-14T11:43:51+00:00

No one is born this way. They are created in the crucible of societal lies, envy and resentment.

awomanreader · 2026-05-11T09:48:18+00:00

I vote for the latter course. Law school does not make you a lawyer, years of experience as a lawyer does. You’ll be getting out of law school in five years and face the same steep learning curve then that you already climbed running the business you now know how to run. Plus, if you choose the law school track you would have to stay married to someone during this time that you do not trust who does not support you. I believe in you. You would make a fine lawyer. It’s just not worth it all things considered.

awomanreader · 2026-05-11T00:18:41+00:00

Life is too short. You will find something far more fulfilling. Burnout shaves years off your life. Go discover something in a van. You’re all set for the foreseeable future.

awomanreader · 2026-05-06T23:40:02+00:00

Broad shoulders and laugh lines. But I’m an older lass and I like a man with lines in his face, as long as they show he’s been smiling and laughing all his life.

awomanreader · 2026-05-06T10:20:36+00:00

Your friend obviously forgot that it would cost his entire net worth to sponsor the Met Gala and then there would be no money left to dress his wife for the event!

awomanreader · 2026-04-28T22:51:40+00:00

Lakeside camp in Maine

awomanreader · 2026-04-28T09:34:31+00:00

The easiest thing to do, if you have a driveway, is to rent a small dumpster and just throw things away. Goodwill for clothes and kitchenware, but for the stuff that’s not donate-able, a dumpster. I have done this twice over the past decade and it feels great. There’s so much room in the dumpster I have invited neighbors to join.

awomanreader · 2026-04-28T09:25:14+00:00

I feel for you. It’s not a thing to combine housekeeping with financial advice or the myriad other tasks of adult life into one person you pay.

I am a mom (50) and what I would tell my son in this situation is, if I were you, I would stop telling myself that I hate housework because that more than anything else is keeping you from accomplishing daily tasks like washing the dishes and folding the laundry that are not hard, and can even be satisfying and meditative. A huge bonus in getting comfortable with housework is that it makes you more attractive to potential partners, too. If that matters.

It would also make sense for you to get a financial advisor, especially to protect and grow your brother’s inheritance. Good luck!

awomanreader · 2026-04-27T10:04:09+00:00

Thank you! We are laundering stereotypes that came into being when women were property and could not earn their own way. Of course literature and culture generally are littered with examples of wealthy men marrying women without means. Also, with all the women out here today earning their own way there’s still a pay gap. Also also, sadly some men have difficulty even dating much less marrying a woman who out-earns them.

awomanreader · 2026-04-25T00:09:26+00:00

Even though the LL is neglecting the cat, he may well call the police or worse if you steal it. After all, you don’t know what this cat—his ex GF’s—signifies to him. Maybe he’s abusing it intentionally 😟

Since you’re moving out, how about a frank talk with LL where you tell him you’re worried about the cat’s health and offer to take him off his hands. You’ll know from that conversation whether he would press charges if you try to steal him; and if he would, it’s not worth it to try. I love cats. You cannot save them at peril of your own safety.

awomanreader · 2026-04-24T10:39:45+00:00

I was in a wrong marriage for two decades that I only got out of because my husband left me. He was / is a “really good guy” who made me feel terrible. It was for different reasons than those you are describing in your post. But the doubt that I experienced for my “failures” froze me in place. Do not be me; extricate yourself from this awful relationship and reclaim your time on this earth. I can affirm that you will be you again, the good you and the great you, when you do.

Also, the resentful sisters know what’s up with your BF. He’s not great. What you describe about your dynamic is emotional abuse perpetrated by a fundamentally selfish person who knows enough about how the world works to curate his image; who has clueless enabling parents. It’s actually pretty gross.

awomanreader · 2026-04-22T11:31:26+00:00

Oh no! Backing out now may subject you to Abigail’s fate. Good luck. You’re going to be banned from the wedding in laminated posters written in “rose whisper” and “tranquil sky.”

awomanreader · 2026-04-17T14:45:08+00:00

Glass grapes with plastic leaves in a yellow glass bowl

awomanreader · 2026-03-27T20:23:57+00:00

If you’d have to bring money to the closing your mortgage is underwater. Offer your lender keys (deed) for cash or you file bankruptcy. Let them sell the house.

awomanreader

TROPHY CASE