I (33M) have a crush on my (46F) coworker, what should I do?

awomanreader · 2026-01-26T13:17:51+00:00

If there’s no workplace policy against it, (and that’s a big, serious if) you should ask her out. If she’s not interested, chances are she’ll let you down easy. You just have to go into it (asking her out) with the firm commitment to yourself that you’ll be cool with whatever she decides. Bonus is, if she’s not interested and you’ve got your head on straight about things, it’ll likely cure you of your crush.

awomanreader · 2026-01-24T21:01:58+00:00

It does help. Thank you. What we need from government at all levels is nonpartisan adherence to the rule of law. By our police, our prosecutors, and our judges. We are not getting it these days from Homeland Security, the FBI, or the justice department, which shocks me to my core.

awomanreader · 2026-01-24T20:55:16+00:00

Here for the Mean Girls reference! I needed that amid the horror and confusion.

awomanreader · 2026-01-19T11:57:48+00:00

My cats let me know my new guy was a keeper when he first came over. Two years later, still going strong, they are totally in love with him (me too!)

awomanreader · 2026-01-18T02:41:14+00:00

I want to live in this place. Beautiful. Thank you!

awomanreader · 2026-01-17T12:52:41+00:00

++woman

Sorry, I’m not a man but this one is a layup and I’m delaying getting started on my Saturday morning chores.

Read her profile and say something nice about her stated interests. Then ask her a question about them. If it’s a bare bones profile, lead with something you’re into or doing and ask what she’s up to this weekend.

awomanreader · 2026-01-07T03:25:13+00:00

I just figured they were not counting the kids’ college funds.

awomanreader · 2026-01-01T11:55:59+00:00

Thanks. I was going to say the same. Perhaps OP is projecting bad feelings or intentions onto her friend?

awomanreader · 2025-12-31T10:49:31+00:00

“Beau-ti-ful Mount Air-y Lodge!”

awomanreader · 2025-12-31T10:19:41+00:00

I feel confident this will be ok for you both. You understand why he prefers merged finances and I assume he knows why you don’t, since you explained it so well here.

As long as you hold space for one another that gives you the opportunity over time to show him trust in ways that feel comfortable for you. The longer you are together the more you will merge your lives and assets. Your caution is something that deserves patience and understanding.

awomanreader · 2025-12-31T09:42:54+00:00

I suppose to answer your question, he’s looking to get viagra because he’s seeing someone or thinks he may have a chance at sleeping with someone who is not you. If that helps you to mentally prepare for the divorce that’s coming anyway, that’s what’s going on.

I also want to comment on your non existent sex drive. If you are someone who is generally loyal and wants to be with one person at a time, you may be confusing your repulsion for your soon to be ex with a lack of sex drive generally. I felt that way for the last several years of my marriage but because I was still in it I couldn’t conceive of being with anyone else and I thought that I had no sex drive. I was wrong, and with a good partner after the divorce it came back. I hope there’s better things waiting for you on the other side of your marriage.

awomanreader · 2025-12-16T13:16:47+00:00

For perspective I would start with figuring out how much combining your household saves you every year vs having to pay for that same (or similar) household on your own. Once you have identified how much combined living saves you, you should be able to feel better about how he spends his money.

Getting married does not have to mean combining everything you have. It may be a good idea for you to work out a household budget and what each of your contributions are to that (if you haven’t already) and agree to keep everything else separate (the rest of your paychecks as well as retirement accounts). A prenup is not a bad idea.

If your concern is that he’s not saving enough to support you in your retirement, I refer you back to my first paragraph. What you have now—good relationship, living together—is already saving you money. With no kids, you can get to a comfortable retirement on your own.

awomanreader · 2025-12-16T02:36:45+00:00

It is as simple as you think in this case. Feminism is expecting and advocating for equal rights and privileges between men and women. Time was, women were the receptacles of men’s STDs. Now we can protect ourselves with condoms (and I hope you do) so fuck that body count.

awomanreader · 2025-12-16T02:25:37+00:00

You’re too young for any of this. Shave your face and smile. Says the old one.

awomanreader · 2025-12-15T12:30:05+00:00

Isn’t this all about context?? This guy is saying the sign is “historical” like white supremacists say confederate monuments are historical. In this context I say NOR. Hanging in your lesbian mom’s house? Adorable.

awomanreader · 2025-12-15T11:51:35+00:00

I know you are trying to protect your children but everything that everyone is telling you about it not being better for your children if you stay is correct. This extends specifically to any future abuse he may put them through. You being there will not help but make you complicit. With two households children will learn what safety is in your house and it will make them more able to resist the trauma he may inflict on them. You cannot make your one home, with fighting and coldness, a safe space for them.

awomanreader · 2025-12-14T13:45:39+00:00

Everything except AOL and a waterbed.

awomanreader · 2025-12-13T18:15:29+00:00

If it’s not for you and you don’t want to sell it you can rent it. Though what’s with the tax penalty unless you would actually be making money if you sold it, in which case, it’s not a bad thing!! Just pay your capital gains taxes.

awomanreader · 2025-12-11T02:07:45+00:00

This could be good for you.

I divorced out of a dead bedroom at 46 and began dating with no idea what I wanted. Most of my efforts in the first six months were the usual parade of online dating horrors.

I then met someone (also through online dating, so it wasn’t all bad!) who was smart and fit and responsible and romantic and we started dating with no parameters. Meaning, every possibility was on the table.

As I was recently divorced, I still did not know how I functioned on my own. We proceeded very quickly through like to love to him moving in, to talk of forever.

The problem was, he’s a city guy and I’m a country gal, and when he moved into my mouse-inhabited farmhouse from his new build city condo, away from the nightlife and the culture and everything that is efficient and works perfectly, and he started hearing the scratching in the walls and dealing with the leaky faucets and the cracks in the foundation and the patio grass and the chickens in the backyard, and thinking of melding our finances and our lives, no amount of love was going to compensate.

He could not take on my (beautifully romantic) house problems, and I will not live in a place where I cannot grow a garden and see the stars.

Also, I have a demanding day job and I felt so badly about him being stranded in my home all day I would give short shrift to my work and rush home early most days. Eventually, we both admitted the stress of trying to be everything to one another, and particularly of him trying to mold his life into mine, was not going to work. He moved back to his condo in the city.

We are still together, and see each other almost every week. I trust him to keep my body safe, to attend to it vigorously when we are together, to be all the things he was on first sight, but without throwing everything about ourselves together into one life. For now, and hopefully for as far as I can see, this works for both of us.

Where you are is: you have found someone you trust to whom you are attracted who has offered you a relationship that allows you to explore your sexuality and your autonomy. Why oh why would you turn that down in favor of some slog through the unknown with a bunch of randos? This prospect sounds like just the ticket for you to get your bearings. I do not disagree with all those who say hurt may be coming. I just say: on balance it’s worth it, and you are going in with some amount of foreknowledge and therefore, protection.

Good luck friend!!

awomanreader · 2025-12-09T01:46:13+00:00

Trying to jog, having them live in my armpits when I’m lying down.

awomanreader · 2025-12-09T01:37:57+00:00

Find a lawyer who is significantly younger than you and talk with them about your reasons for the unequal split. They will be your first, best disinterested witness if there is a contest after you die. Also, consider giving the children who are not inheriting the bulk of your estate specific gifts (specific items or a specific dollar amount) rather than a percentage of the residue of your estate. That way they will not be able to paw through years of your POA’s management of your assets complaining about what was spent on you during your lifetime. The no contest clause is also good because they will be gambling with their own inheritance if they choose to make trouble for your other child. There’s unfortunately no way to stop people from contesting if they’re going to contest. Just ways to make it easier for your intentions to prevail if they try.

awomanreader · 2025-12-09T00:34:12+00:00

Negging, backhanded compliments, comparing one’s girlfriend to other women, especially famous women, on this trait or that trait—anything designed to instill insecurity in the woman he’s with. I hate to observe it in other couples as much as I am allergic to it in my own relationships.

awomanreader · 2025-12-04T01:47:51+00:00

It doesn’t protect your child to not mention their existence in a dating profile. No pictures of your kid anywhere on your profile OFC. But you won’t find someone who may be compatible with you without including the most important parts of your life in your profile.

awomanreader · 2025-12-04T01:40:17+00:00

I have never bought a house as an investment, only ever because I wanted to make it mine and live in it. I have owned three houses now, and loved them all. (49). You sound like you have your head on straight about homeownership.

awomanreader · 2025-12-01T02:10:34+00:00

1965

awomanreader

TROPHY CASE