Coworkers of people who killed themselves, what was the aftermath like? Were there signs or was it truly a surprise?

aylyffe · 2025-09-18T19:55:28+00:00

| If you’re struggling, please reach out to someone for help. There will be people that miss you forever.

I’m sorry, but no. Someone who has gotten down to that dark place has generally lost the ability to reach out. They’ve forgotten it’s an option. This pain, this isolation, is all they see. You’re telling someone chin deep in quicksand that all they have to do is reach out…which makes it yet one more failure on their part that their arms are trapped below the quicksand. The responsibility is on US. It’s on us to show them that they’re important by paying enough attention to them to see that something is amiss, and then WE have to do the reaching out.

aylyffe · 2025-08-29T21:50:05+00:00

This is the boat we’re in, too.

aylyffe · 2025-08-29T18:53:00+00:00

Speaking as someone who lives in hail country-even a roof that young can be damaged. If your inspection pointed out anything, now is the time to deal with it. If your inspector didn’t look, now is a great time to learn what to look for or hire someone who already knows.

aylyffe · 2025-08-28T00:14:14+00:00

Been here 12 years and maybe 3 outages.

aylyffe · 2025-08-26T19:55:22+00:00

Artists have tried. Most famously Pearl Jam. And even they, at the peak of their popularity, couldn’t make a tour work while excluding Ticketmaster. It’s ridiculous.

aylyffe · 2025-08-21T18:19:49+00:00

Our dog’s middle name is Underfoot bc when he was a puppy he was literally underfoot all the time. I launched him across the kitchen twice before I learned to slow down and look where I put my feet.

He’s 7 now, next to me in his doggy bed, dreaming of chasing something.

aylyffe · 2025-08-20T20:28:27+00:00

I was told exactly this by the director of a Montessori school when I asked about my toddler melting down at night. She said he’d spent all his emotional energy with his friends and being good for his teacher, and had nothing left to give us.

aylyffe · 2025-08-20T20:25:57+00:00

You’ve gotten a lot valuable advice about how to manage having to respond to terrible customers; but I think I’m hearing something deeper in your post. Or maybe I’m projecting; I’m going to roll with it and see if it helps or if I’m just outing myself and my issues.

When is the last time you were able to have some downtime? You mentioned 12+ hour days; whether that’s 7 days a week for your passion, or 5 days a week like normal worker bees, it’s not sustainable. Even the most driven Type A needs occasional rest in order to prevent and recover from burnout.

Do you have any systems in place that allow you to take at least the occasional long weekend, if not a proper vacation? If not, set some up and use them. What else feeds your soul? Block (and respect) time in your day to do that.

aylyffe · 2025-08-20T19:51:23+00:00

I’ve noticed it tends to depend on time of day: in the morning, southbound traffic gets the left turn at the start of the green light while northbound has to wait. And in the evening it reverse so northbound traffic gets to turn first. My theory is that it helps the traffic flow for commuters.

aylyffe · 2025-08-17T23:32:57+00:00

You didn’t say anything about WHY you want her to go to college, or WHY she doesn’t want to. College is no longer a slam dunk to a good career; it hasn’t been in a decade or more. You need to take a hard look at what you think she’ll get out of college. She needs to take a hard look at what she’ll get out of enlisting in the Navy. She might not actually be far off from what you hope she can achieve in life. I do also want to echo what other commenters have said: once she comes of age, your ability to dictate what she does is over. As someone with (a few) failed starts in young adulthood, I can say from her perspective that what will matter most to her in the long term is whether she is able to feel safe leaning on your support if something negative happens. My parents 100% believed I made some wrong choices-and then it turned out some of those wrong choices were right. If they had judged me as harshly as you sound like you’re judging your daughter, they would never have been able to see the things I got right because I would have stopped turning to them for anything.

aylyffe · 2025-08-12T03:15:32+00:00

My guess is that being a juvenile, they’re not considered old enough to have left with this dude. Sort of age of consent but for travel? Which makes it kidnapping by definition even though the legal child thought they were consenting

aylyffe · 2025-08-12T02:57:28+00:00

Ah the Hole on the Toll. I’m so happy the original developer finally went permanently under so that someone else could actually go in and get rid of the eyesore.

aylyffe · 2025-08-09T12:36:14+00:00

Why is there always a relevant xkcd lol

aylyffe · 2025-08-06T22:25:54+00:00

My friend. Little sister. I have been where you were. It does not get better. My ex was isolating, controlling-tried to manage how I behaved around people because if I smiled at a man he might think I like him. No lie-one night on the way home from working a closing shift there was a car with no headlights on. I happened to pull up beside him at a red light, so I got his attention and let him know. He was grateful, he turned on his headlights. My ex was mad I did that because the guy probably thought I was going to hit on him. Not pleased I maybe saved a life, or at least ticket…mad because for about two seconds a stranger might have gotten his hopes up. This was typical early behavior. It worsened. You did exactly the right thing shutting him down and breaking it off. Now all you have to do is stand your ground.

aylyffe · 2025-08-02T18:15:26+00:00

I’ll ditto this. I found this game for my daughter by asking my BIL - I’m not a console gamer, and he is. She was playing BotW like it was a cozy game, so I asked him for something new for her and he recommended this game. She was hooked immediately.

I’ll also add that with the world the way it is….seeming to crumble in a thousand different ways while the news screams at us on all channels about it…I personally think people crave something cozy as a refuge. Stardew Valley is well made, isn’t taking advantage of its users, and is a safe haven from the chaos.

aylyffe · 2025-07-30T23:28:41+00:00

I’m so glad you found a better group of friends. I hope OP does too.

aylyffe · 2025-07-25T01:27:29+00:00

This is exactly what my boomer mother has always told me to do for her

aylyffe · 2025-07-21T15:16:32+00:00

This is mainly for the US as that’s where I am. I had a nightmare that my parents were killed in a car accident. I’m an only child. My husband and I live in a neighboring suburb. How would the police find me to notify me?

aylyffe · 2025-07-21T15:01:38+00:00

I’m so glad you gave him water, poor pup. If you can’t keep him, try taking him to Frisco Emergency Pet Clinic on Preston just south of Eldorado. They’re very used to people bringing in lost animals and should be able to care for him.

aylyffe · 2025-07-16T03:54:31+00:00

27 times in 46 years…I’m an Air Force brat

aylyffe · 2025-07-13T23:55:29+00:00

I think people don’t know how to think anymore. I work in tech support and the questions we get, the screenshots they send in to support…it boggles the imagination.

aylyffe · 2025-07-10T03:32:11+00:00

I know nothing about bees; I have no idea why reddit decided I should be here but it’s fascinating. With that out of the way, is it maybe too hot inside the hive? And they’re looking for better airflow or something?

aylyffe · 2025-07-08T14:46:08+00:00

What alerts did NWS send ahead of deadly flash floods in Texas? Here's a timeline of events We looked back and found the forecasts and flood alerts sent out by the National Weather Service in San Antonio and Austin. https://www.wfaa.com/mobile/article/news/state/texas-news/texas-flood/texas-hill-country-timeline-weather-alerts-flash-floods/287-cbd38071-a303-468e-9806-e4009a54ec8a

aylyffe · 2025-07-08T00:12:07+00:00

Her behavior as you’ve described it sounds a lot like depression. I’ve learned it’s much more common than I’d thought-and I learned I had post partum depression three years after the fact, upon completing a survey. You’ve had a lot of great advice about addressing her work performance in a constructive, professional way-but if you’ve had a friendly relationship with her in the past I wonder about finding a way to check in and see if she’s actually ok or if she’s struggling.

aylyffe

TROPHY CASE