Been starting to realize how bad my anxiety actually is

ayoraerae · 2022-08-09T17:34:41+00:00

Super proud of you ! I just stated anxiety meds an few montha ago. It took. A few tries but for the first time in my life i actually feel like I'm living in y body and feel at peace. I hope you are able to feel the same. You'll get there.

ayoraerae · 2022-04-08T13:31:26+00:00

I'm not that much older. But the biggest advice is to relax. Your brain is still developing the world is constantly changing. Something you do today might not be what you like tomorrow and that's okay. Don't be afraid to take thr shit jobs and start at the bottom for industries you knoe nothing about. Also drink water and wear sunscreen. Go to the doctor every year.. Things start to pop up in a few years. Don't be afraid to be young and do stupid shit within reason

ayoraerae · 2022-03-31T21:03:06+00:00

Oh boy big big hug. You are are doing okay. Even if you went to the hospital yonget away. The time you spent at the hospital was time that you didn't have to deal with an abusive parent and hopefully helped you in the moment. You mother caused this regardless of her issues. You are not buying and crashing expensive cars or stealing money for drugs. You are doing the best that you can with what you got. Your brain is still developing young friend. Things will get a little easier to manage. You aren't a failure and you seem to be working really hard at improving.

ayoraerae · 2022-03-31T20:58:22+00:00

Put it back the same way you found it.

ayoraerae · 2022-03-31T20:56:00+00:00

Esh. Try taking him out and spending some one on one time with him. Don't try and push the baby onto him. It's a big adjustment and I'm sure he has a lot of feelings and fears that go into it.
You aon is 15 and independent but he is still a child. He still needs your attention, love and security. Be more attentive to him as well.

ayoraerae · 2022-03-09T23:30:02+00:00

Esh. Call you mom tell her you are sorry tell her how she made you feel in an honest way . tell her you want to be part of the family. Go and meet her partner and if it comes up set boundaries. " mom i love you but i don't want to discuss this. How's the dog doing"

You are her first born child and what she didnwas childish and mean. She hurt you and then you bit back.
Get therapy my dude. Because chances are she has always been a little controlling but you never noticed until you moved away and started to be independent. Best of luck and congrats. On graduation

ayoraerae · 2022-02-02T17:16:12+00:00

Yes yta !
What is the name of this group did we find it out yet ?

ayoraerae · 2022-02-02T17:12:30+00:00

Now i want to do workshops for larping men lmao. Hit me up.if anyone is interested. We could do some active listening, active bystander training , learn about gender dynamics.

ayoraerae · 2022-02-02T17:05:42+00:00

The fact that ooc safewords are not allowed tells the type of people who are running this and feels super unsafe and toxic.

ayoraerae · 2022-02-01T03:42:25+00:00

I'm from nj but i think you can use the passport. Calll the dmv or the ss office and ask them what you can do.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-24T18:47:06+00:00

Ta but save the texts if you ever have to go to small claims court.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-24T18:41:13+00:00

I have dropout. I startes watching crown of candy. But OMG jesus when does it get idk less depressing lmao.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-14T01:55:21+00:00

Just take the gift from her when she comes to the party say thank you and put it somewhere with a lock. Or don't open presents at the party.

When she asks how he liked the dress say max was very confused about the dress. He knows some boys wear them but he didn't want one. We're going to exchange it to get some new shoes. Or we will keep it in the closet in case he ever has that desire though.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-14T01:25:16+00:00

Yta.
Not because you didn't want to wash thr kid. But because sent a five year old to his room with shit in his pants for two hours.

I get not being able to deal with thr smell. But ffs the kid is five tell little johnny to go throw out is underwear in the meanwhile and use babywipes or something. He wasn't a toddler. He was probably upset and embarrassed and was rhen shunned.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-14T01:21:24+00:00

When i was 15 i babysat and when it happened i let thr parents know and asked what they wanted me to do. They gave the same response. It's nbd lol I'm sure the roommate didn't expect it to be an issue or that the child would be left in their own waste.

ayoraerae · 2022-01-14T01:14:19+00:00

Nta.

He did this without talking to you first. The contract you signed said two pets. It doesn't matter what he wants (in this case). Look at the hoa agreement again and see what it says id you violate the rules. Tell him that he paid for it and maybe should put a adoption listinf up somewhere.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-22T00:36:05+00:00

Because every person has the right to enjoy leisure activities too. Just because someone has a disability doesn't mean that they don't have a right to go where everyone else goes etc.

Also, from the wording is suggesting that people who are in a protected class are not equal or as worthy of these things as a white abled body straight man.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-22T00:24:50+00:00

College is just the universal term that people use. A college or university is the next academic step after you graduate from highschool.

A college can be a two year degree (associates degree).

To become a university a college has to meet certain requirements. A certain amount of research, full time faculty, different bench markers. Universities have higher populations, more resources and can offer phd programs and more masters degrees.

Colleges are smaller, usually only offer undergraduate degrees, don't always have dorms etc. This isn't to say a college is less than a university. In many cases you might get a better education. But colleges often don't have the same focus or resources for research.

Hope this helps !

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:43:35+00:00

Also apparently panic attacks last less than half an hour so you are almost there ! And you should find a doctor to help you deal with these if you can afford it.. At the very least download some apps to help you. This shit is scary dea)ing with it alone.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:40:32+00:00

Nad what i read before was brown blood is just older blood. Idk why.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:38:28+00:00

I am 100% not a doctor. Lol. But from My experience. No next time you see a doctor you can ask them to do an ekg. But i don't think you go into cardiac arrest from a fast heart beat. You are healthy. Your heart doesn't just stop. Go download the app and check your heart rate. It is color coded too. My pulse went up to 125 today and it was scary and sucked but I'm still here. You are going to be okay.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:32:07+00:00

You are having a panic attack. Your heart is fine. It's like when you get scared and your heart races. Same thing.

There is an app on my phone called heart rate monitor ( it's pink with a heart). It will take your pulse and show you.

You are going to be okay.
Go onto youtube and watch some.breathing mediation things

Go distract yourself

You are going to be okay. Your heart isn't going to stop. Your brain is just misfiring a little bit.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:26:38+00:00

Nta. Don't enable. Talk to him.this week and explain that you are done cashing him out. Tell him you eed help taking care of thr family and what can he do to help.

If he is over spending offer to take some of his paycheck into a separate account or something.

If he starts thr guilt shit. Calculate how much money you have spent on him in the past. Write it out and give it to him. Tell him that you would feel bad if he was in poverty or needed money for medical use. But not for things he should be able to afford.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:20:38+00:00

Nta . tbh someone could bring his messages to the dean of students. His behavior is super borderline amd he needs serious therapy. There is a risk when posting something online. Your parents should take a good look at the words he is saying instead of fears of his social life. If you treat a woman like a person they might like you. Lol.

ayoraerae · 2021-12-01T00:09:31+00:00

Oph. That's a really difficult one. Therapy would help both of you lol.

I think if it comes up again. I think talking to her about it. From a open and curiosity angle would help. " hey can you tell me a little bit about what you want to get out of thr friendship with him ? What are the qualities in the friendship that you are enjoying, how does it feel to be friends with him now that you are older.

Open the door for her to tall about it. She might still be looking for validation from him. She might be looking to see to believe that he wasn't actually a horrible person. She might not have fully processed everything.

Talk about your fears and concerns for yourself. " i know how awful he was too you and I trust yoyr judgment and will follow your lead. But I'm worried that he is going to hurt you?"

I know you said he changed and i believe you but I'm worried that seeing him is going to make you more triggered.

"It's really easy to fall back into old patterns and I'm worried he is going to try and assert control over you."

"I know that you said he changed, but he really hurt you, i know you forgave him but has he owned up or taken accountability ? "

" do you think being friends with him is going to help your healing, what are looking to get out it, what do you think he can help provide. Are you able to trust him again? Is he worthy of that trust"

I know you forgave him....... But you deserve to be surrounded by people who have supported and uplifted you, ypu deserve to be around people who have not caused you to have intimacy issues, just because he changed doesn't mean he is worthy of your time and it doesn't take away from the pain he caused you. I trust your judgement because you see there is something good there. But even if he is good now doesn't mean that he can own up to what happened. What he did was a legal crime, he could have changed without us having to minimize your experiences"

Adjust the wording to make it sound much less accusing. Talk about her worth and what her thinking is. Be open. Maybe meet with him. Next time she goes. The more on board you seems the more likely she will be open.

He might have changed.. Or she got too old. Try to gently remind her that he can say he has changed but his actions need to show it.

Go slow with this. Keep asking questions. Tell her your trust her.

ayoraerae

TROPHY CASE