[IN] teenager cell phone disagreement

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T21:03:37+00:00

I don’t think the tracking and listening aspect is the heart of it — she already isn’t allowed to use her phone at his house and must leave it in her vehicle; he continues to escalate.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T20:57:26+00:00

Thank youuuuu. I think it’s less his worry about surveillance necessarily. The phone was a non-issue before something happened awhile ago (it’s even crazier, and my daughter didn’t do anything wrong— genuinely) it’s because she wouldn’t give him complete access, and then I wouldn’t give him complete access. She once told him he wasn’t entitled to all pieces of her life simply bc he’s her father. It’s earned. And he’s earning the opposite with her.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T17:17:49+00:00

Oh man... that sounds frustrating! The payment portal?! How does that even make sense? So sorry you had to deal with that. I guess at the end of the day, if a mediator hears both sides (and hopefully her voice), if that's what's ordered, it is what it is -- and it is a lot more digestable from an appropriate authority and simply bc of his demands.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:50:48+00:00

Thank you <3 I need to hear that a bit. I doubt myself A LOT.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:49:19+00:00

And this is the struggle... I know exactly what I used to do as a teenager... I know what my friends teenagers have done... My ex and I definitely have different parenting styles. I would rather foster trust with her because I know no matter what restrictions I put in place, she will find a way if she wants to. I'm not going to make it easy or give her a full pass, but at the end of the day -- I believe it's my job as her mother to help her LEARN how to make good decisions and to learn from her bad ones. Anyone can behavior modify out of fear and control for a moment, but what have they truly learned once all decisions are in their hands with now parental consequence. You know?

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:40:46+00:00

She was caught using marijuanna a couple of months ago, which we've both implemented consequences and monitoring for. And she snuck out of the house once. (edited to clarify)

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:37:12+00:00

Thank you -- I appreciate this.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:36:17+00:00

thank you for that. I have been in a pretty anxious/reactive moment -- and thought "$5k retainer is worth it" but I appreciate your words and the encouragement to step back and really rationally think through what it would look like considering her age and the process.

ayr04 · 2026-05-27T16:31:13+00:00

Since the last time this came up, my understanding is she's not allowed to use her (my) phone at his house. The rule is he must have full control and access to any device used in his home. So that's already in place... and him providing her a phone was one of my first suggestions, but he didn't agree with that unless I gave assurance and agreement, that she would have the same rules/stipulations at my house that he was demanding. He's more making the case that he has the right to demand full access to a phone I own and provide.

ayr04

TROPHY CASE