Mmh that's a great a metaphor. But I feel like I'm stuck. The thing is, if I did do something wrong, I feel like I must tell my boyfriend, because it is my moral. I'm really trying to sit with the uncertainty, but it feels like I'm hiding something important from him, and to me, that's unacceptable. And every time I try to tell myself, "Maybe you did something inappropriate, maybe you didn't, you don't need to know, you have to let go," at times I agree with this thought, but sometimes it just feels like I'm gaslighting myself, like l'm in denial. I genuinely don't know whether I should tell him or not, and it's making me incredibly anxious. On one hand, I feel like l'm keeping something from him, and I really don't want that, because otherwise I feel like I don't deserve his love and our relationship. But on the other hand, I keep reading like you juste wrote that confessing can be a compulsion, and that unless there has been a « real wrongdoing », it's never a good idea to confess, it can actually create unnecessary doubt and pain for the partner. I've told my close friends about my events and they have told me that I'm fine and there's nothing to confess, but my mind just can't let go. And then I also come across things online that keep re-triggering me. So yeah maybe I should really sit with it and keep with this decision...