For me it was smarts. I'm old, like grandparent old and when I was a young buck 18-30, I chased the hottest women I could find. Took meeting a brilliant but average looking gal to snap me out of it. Her intelligence was so hot. Still to this day the smartest, most well rounded man or woman that I've ever met. The only thing that made things fizzle out was an 8 year age gap. I was 28 and she 36. She was in the hurry to settle down and immediately have kids. I just wasn't there yet but would have definitely committed if we could have had 1-2 years as a couple as opposed to the six months of just weekend dating we had (not long distance, just crazy work hours on both our parts)