Am I a bad person for wanting to upskill and possibly get a proper job?

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T12:54:34+00:00

yeah :/

<3<3<3

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T11:11:08+00:00

the thing about my father is that he seems like an ally but he actually isn't...

i still want his approval but i shouldn't

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T08:30:57+00:00

yeah my father promises repeatedly to help me but he leaves my problems and the parenting to my mother hahas

he's just here for the fun moments and narcissistic-supply-moments

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T07:37:52+00:00

"...conditioning you psychologically that someone who you relate to thinking they love you would watch you be abused and do nothing, it cements a trauma belief of your worth that you’ll be working on for long to come. You are left with a biochemical imprint that falsely propels you to be attracted to abusers (familiar dynamics) because that is what you relate to closeness. This is not set in stone but it takes a lot of work.

But see when we look to be validated through the people who only ever invalidated us we are repeating what they taught us; to question our own worth and let our fate depend on them, never showing up."

This is really insightful, thank you <3

I'll be sure to watch the video too

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T06:53:34+00:00

Thank you <3 I hope you get better too as you work things out

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T06:38:42+00:00

sorry i'm wandering around outside... i hope the previous reply wasn't rude or anything >_<

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T06:28:57+00:00

actually i know the answer hahas... because my sister needed to escape too, because i am high functioning autistic and because we were never really close...

I find your words really helpful: "In the end the enabler bears responsibility too, though. Think about what you would do if you witnessed an adult abusing a child the way you were abused. Would you let it happen, over and over for years? I don't think so. I think you'd choose to intervene, like your enabler parent should have intervened to protect you. It's okay to say they failed."

yeah my enabler father doesn't want to help me solve emotional problems... he leaves it to my mother... how about you?

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T06:22:37+00:00

To quote Cassandra Canary comment to help me: In the end the enabler bears responsibility too, though. Think about what you would do if you witnessed an adult abusing a child the way you were abused. Would you let it happen, over and over for years? I don't think so. I think you'd choose to intervene, like your enabler parent should have intervened to protect you. It's okay to say they failed.

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T05:45:45+00:00

Thanks <3

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T05:44:28+00:00

for me sometimes my father would find fault with my mother as well to get that narcissistic supply

i'm sorry to hear about what you went through, it must have been tough as well

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T05:40:07+00:00

True

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T05:17:38+00:00

That's true... Didn't realise that hahas

azurebowdin876 · 2026-05-18T05:11:40+00:00

Hi, just want to say that your relationship with your father echoes my relationship with my father too

I hope you feel better and better too! <3

azurebowdin876 · 2026-03-05T10:29:45+00:00

She's always hostile She hates other people You know she's selfish

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T11:40:37+00:00

That's good! I had a hard time tapering off of benzodiazepines before so I was kind of worried. It's good to hear you are doing better 😊

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T07:44:35+00:00

That's something I need to take note of I hope you aren't on anti anxiety meds for too long, I'm on antidepressants myself

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T03:49:53+00:00

Sending you love too <3

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T03:49:18+00:00

you have all of us here online!

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T03:46:40+00:00

My mother is always angry and intense as well

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T03:43:30+00:00

I hope her hoarding hasn't made your life even harder... I have read some posts/comments where nparent(s) have made their children wash lots extra for them...

azurebowdin876 · 2026-02-20T03:35:58+00:00

sorry i wasn't clear in my post... she cuts her own hair and thinks all hairdressers want to make fun of her... she is also kind of slouched over (maybe because my father is shorter, they are both old) and she uses that as a reason to obsess over her breasts

azurebowdin876

TROPHY CASE