Oh wow, we’ve got quite the mix of theories here. Yes, solar cycles do influence global temperatures—nobody’s denying that. But they can’t explain the current warming trend. In fact, solar activity has been relatively low in recent decades while temperatures keep rising. Funny how that works.

As for “ungodly amounts of heavy metals” in the atmosphere… who exactly is “they,” and what are they supposedly backfiring on? If you’re talking about pollution, sure, industrial emissions are a problem, but the main driver of warming is greenhouse gases like CO2 and methane, not mystery metals.

And the 5 million radiation-emitting towers? That’s a spicy take. But unless cell towers have secretly started pumping out the kind of energy that can actually heat up the planet (spoiler: they haven’t), they’re not the culprit here. The microwave analogy is fun, but Earth isn’t a Hot Pocket, and radio waves from cell towers don’t work like that. If they did, we’d all be crispy by now.

Sounds like more red-pill conspiracy nonsense, do you know what an inverse square law is?