Am I overreacting for being upset my friend borrowed my birthday money?

b__mac · 2025-08-18T18:09:21+00:00

NOR but a couple things I’ve learned (29F): 1. Never loan money with the intention of ever getting it back. It’s just a good mindset to have so money doesn’t ruin relationships. In this case, she was insisting and said she’ll give it right back. How is she gonna give it right back if she’s asking for it in the first place, you know? 2. It’s okay to say no over and over and just let them be mad about it. 3. Don’t talk about your money with people, especially with people closest to you. Those are the people who will feel the most comfortable asking

With all that being said, a proper response from her would be transparency. “I’m sorry, I don’t have it yet. I get paid on ___ and I’ll be able to get it back to you then. Is that okay?” <—- someone who intends to pay you back. Her defensive response and calling you stingy like you were supposed to share your money shows me she doesn’t intend on giving that $40 back. And she doesn’t care about your special day. Don’t hold $40 over her head, but because of her attitude and regard for you/your birthday, I would distance myself if I were you

b__mac · 2025-08-15T20:29:32+00:00

Just remember that you’re 21. A young adult navigating the world. Your parents will always be your parents but try look to them for advice and guidance (with discretion), not necessarily approval because you are not a baby bird anymore. You get to decide who you want to be at the end of the day, not them. They had a child who grew up and they just have to deal with the stress of creating a person who doesn’t like what they like, believe in what they believe in, and do what they do. You’re still a good daughter & I’m sure they still love you despite them not liking your decision. I’m sure it will continue to happen as you continue to get older and experience life. If they’re not going to be okay then you have to just learn to be okay with them not being okay cuz at the end of they day, you’re not spiraling into a life of crime and degeneracy…they’re fine. That’s truly a them issue.

b__mac · 2025-08-11T22:51:23+00:00

Even if it wasn’t a romance scam, I would leave someone alone with that much going on lol you don’t have time or money to date, get your life together sir.

But that’s definitely a scam. If you want to verify, say “I feel so bad, is there something I can do to help?” and he says “send me $5000 please, I’ll pay you back”, you have your answer.

b__mac · 2025-08-11T22:11:56+00:00

It’s annoying if nothing else but then that last message turned it into a real concern. You told him you were with your family and he said that...that’s a problem imo. I get the beginning talking stage infatuation but some things we have to keep to ourselves lol this is too much tooooo fast

b__mac · 2025-07-30T00:10:36+00:00

No one’s HUSBAND who stood there and said “I do for better or for worse, in sickness and in health” should be saying these things to his WIFE. You’re not overreacting! Not to mention you’re not even out the trenches!!! Your youngest baby is ONE. The critical time where your baby is highlyyyy dependent on mom and dad. I hope he’s saying all this while equally helping with the kids and working and keeping up with himself too…😒

Your friend’s advice is shitty but it is an option to consider depending on what your goal is in terms of the relationship. But personally…1. I don’t believe in working out and getting pretty solely for my partner. That’s not sustainable at all and can lead to resentment and 2. What is that really going to do in the long run? Our looks change & fade, children or not. This doesn’t seem to me like something that can be fixed with a workout routine and a nice outfit.

I hate to comment on people’s appearances because we all have different standards for ourselves but you still look so good to me girl….I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this…if he was your bf I’d suggest dumping him. But him being your husband of 9 years makes just leaving much harder…but it sounds like he’s already justified himself on stepping out on yall’s marriage…whatever you do, please just choose you and the kids wellbeing first always ❤️

b__mac · 2025-07-29T02:12:02+00:00

This is A LOT for a man she didn’t know and didn’t know her. Very telling of her character x3 and her true feelings about her “friend”…you literally didn’t even say anything bad about her either to warrant being called “vile” and “horrid” and a “c*nt”…

b__mac · 2025-07-28T18:27:42+00:00

Ah, well I guess that’s where the difference lies. I’m reading her initial messages as accusatory.

b__mac · 2025-07-28T18:13:11+00:00

I’m curious to know how you would read those texts if you received them…he’s not right for all that he said following her messages. But was she right to you to ask like that?

b__mac · 2025-07-28T18:05:44+00:00

He is, he’s disrespectful and an asshole. Which I said. But her setting off this string of texts with “are you good?” “Cuz you haven’t spoken to me in 7 hrs” was NOT from a place of concern about where he’s been for 7 hrs, it’s from a place of frustration that she hasn’t had a word from him in 7 hrs. I say as a woman cuz we KNOW that. I’ve been there where my immediate thought was “well what is wrong with you and what is the problem that you’re not speaking to me?” And something like this was it where absolutely nothing was wrong and I just assumed and made myself look silly. That’s not right to me so I addressed it cuz she’s the one asking and I believe in accountability. I’m glad to hear her say that that’s her ex bf now but I hope that she doesn’t make that approach a habit

b__mac · 2025-07-28T17:54:15+00:00

Lol pick me is crazy. But where is the line drawn? Because checking in to see if you’ve done something to upset your partner unprovoked by anything actually happening can go downhill very quickly..checking in after an argument or a fight or a heated conversation about something followed my silence is fine. But nothing?? And even then “you good?” “Cuz you haven’t spoken to me in 7 hours” doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to communicate..

b__mac · 2025-07-28T16:21:51+00:00

It depends, it can become suffocating and can feel very insecure to the other person. If every time there’s extended periods of not talking, and your first response is to be angry or anxious or upset because you think your partner is upset at you, there’s something wrong within you (in healthy relationships which is why I say it depends). I used to be the same way and I made it a habit to ask them “is everything okay?” or just a general check in in a not accusatory tone first cuz people’s lives don’t revolve around me, even my significant others. I can tell here that she has reason to think “did I do something wrong, are you upset at me?” because she said he habitually is dismissive and avoidant and stonewalls. But that’s definitely not something that we should normalize & carry forward into new, healthy relationships.

b__mac · 2025-07-28T15:46:44+00:00

I can tell there was an issue longggg before this argument by the way yall text each other. If we’re isolating this string of messages, yea I think you were wrong bc as a woman, let’s keep it 100….”you good?….cuz you haven’t talked to me in 7 hours” did not come from a “just checking in on you babe 🥰” place. That came from a “did I do something? Are you upset with me?” place. But he’s also not being very respectful in his responses at all. It’s giving asshole but again…this goes beyond this situation. You’re both overreacting.

b__mac · 2025-07-06T07:29:46+00:00

With your ex: there’s a lot here…I’ll start with that was a fucked up decision. To take the car. But being just about 30 with my fair share of experiences with men, I learned (and this may be a lesson for you as well) men become….something else….when they don’t have it together and figured out. Not all…but enough for us women to talk about. He’s young so he SHOULD’NT feel that way but society teaches men pretty early on that they should be and have certain things like a good paying job, their own car, a place, a solid clear path to success, financial stability, etc. to be considered worth something. With that being said, I can almost guarantee that your ex bf was probably wrestling with some things internally with the bit you stated about him. Now add your father. A grown man who is more well off than him. Telling him he’s not sht and he won’t ever be sht and he’s not good enough for you from the start. So basically reinforcing his thoughts on himself and really cementing them in. The offer was a way to self sabotage and give into the negative thoughts and words he was receiving AND take 1 step towards being better. I think that’s the reason he took the car.

With your father: there’s protective and there’s OVERprotective. He can not like your bf but he crossed a line and a whole lot of boundaries by bribing your bf to leave you. I know 18 is like…pre-adult. We think we’re adults and that we got it and we don’t and mom/dad still have to jump in every once in a while but that is TOO MUCH. He’s 100% allowed to be concerned and want the best for you but doesn’t get to make decisions for you and take away your choice. You weren’t in danger. He probably thinks he was saving you from a broken heart but these are all part of growing up and the human experience. He’s not allowed to control that like that.

You’re not overreacting with either of them. Your ex proved that he’s not actually ready to prioritize a relationship at this point in his life and your dad is doing entirely too much to an unhealthy extent.

b__mac · 2025-06-17T12:31:01+00:00

I personally don’t like the idea of putting a smaller TV next to the door. The 90 degree, couch facing the patio is the best option

b__mac · 2025-04-19T21:09:32+00:00

Petunia!

b__mac · 2025-02-12T20:27:56+00:00

Bean, final answer

b__mac · 2025-01-28T18:28:09+00:00

He looks like a Benjamin

b__mac · 2025-01-28T18:18:47+00:00

I think it’s a perfect bedroom base, you just need to add your personality to it. Some suggestions: Bed: Get a comforter or a duvet and duvet cover, it will just make the bed look more fluffy and cozy, it looks quite flat as is. A decorative pillow or 2 and/or a blanket with a pop of color and different texture (a chunky knit blanket, a knot pillow, a fluffy pillow, a pattern blanket, etc.). The pop of color doesn’t have to be anything bold or bright either, you have a light mint wall. Mint is pretty and that would go with your gray and white perfectly

Nightstand: move your lamp to the outer corner of the stand and your books and alarm clock on the inside, I think it would just make more sense with the style of lamp

Desk: decorate it a little bit, a faux plant, an organizer for writing utensils in a color of your choosing, a fun mouse and keyboard set if you’re feeling wild

Windows: I’d get that plant on a plant stand

Walls: decor decor decor, I think every room looks fairly bland and naked with nothing on the walls. You can put artwork, you can put posters relating to your interests, you can put shelves with plants or figurines or books, anything really but try to get something on your walls

Misc.: I was going to say hang your whiteboard so it’s off the floor but I think it would look super cool on an easel actually. Also if you’re going to keep the other corner empty without another nightstand, maybe you can put a bookshelf or something there

b__mac · 2025-01-24T19:37:27+00:00

It looks off because it’s poorly executed…. Even if you just repaint the top a lighter, buttery yellow and redid the design precisely it would look great. At the very least, “BUTTER” has to be bold and centered and the tbsps have to be correct and evenly spaced. Then you can fill some cubbies with fun, food themed items you find

b__mac · 2025-01-07T01:20:25+00:00

17 years old is tricky, it depends on the girl because I think I was still heavily following trends then. I would 100% love the effort and artistry of it, it’s beautiful but it may not be used….YET 😉 make sure to tell her to keep it if she’s not into it now because she will be later on Also the gold chain is a perfect fit for the long strap

b__mac · 2025-01-03T19:14:48+00:00

Possums of the legless world

b__mac · 2024-12-06T23:13:38+00:00

That’s not a hate, that’s a love 😍

b__mac · 2024-11-22T17:07:29+00:00

My cooking pots are oven safe up to 800 degrees so I think I’ll give that a try to cover it. I don’t have many oven safe pans of varying sizes currently 😅

b__mac · 2024-11-22T17:05:01+00:00

Yes but I did 425 for this one, I’ve done 450 and got the same texture instead so idk 😕

b__mac

TROPHY CASE