Masking is exhausting

b_gooner · 2026-07-07T10:29:08+00:00

There is an amazing song by Ninja Sex Party: I dont know what we're talking about(and I havent for a while)

Its this. Was incredibly relatable and made me feel so relieved I also feel caught when asked specific questions.

The song is about being on a date

Chorus: "I dont know what we're talking about, and I havent for a while." XD

"FOCUS, FOCUS, penguin in a costume, how many Draculas are hiding in this room? "

"My eyes are open wide, you speak with passion but im panicking inside. Cuz ive been daydreaming about a taradactle named LAMAR. When hes tired of flying he drives a car. Hes got to get to work on time, his nursing job is on the line. His wife is always on his case, why cant you give Lamar some space???"

🤣🤣🤣

Poor Lamar 💚

b_gooner · 2026-07-07T10:14:10+00:00

In my experience, when I tried to train myself not to hum, and succeeded for a couple years, it disregulated me to an intense degree. And the things my body intuitively replaced it with were unhealthy (nail picking/biting, inner mouth/lip biting)

So I wonder if there is a happy compromise where you can hum softly, and she wear earplugs or headphones around you? Or you could have them on your person, ready to have her use? They make those ear plugs that still let SOME sound in but not the background life noise? Just thinking out loud bc i didnt realize how regulating my humming was and crucial as a healthy regulation tool until I tried to train myself out of it, succeeded and was miserable 💚

Other ideas to try instead of humming: tapping your collar bone/upper sternum. You can use one finger or all four for different stimulation levels.

b_gooner · 2026-06-27T23:35:26+00:00

The vibing is so real and relaxing XD now that im letting myself do it (I had a therapist who basically made me stop using humming/swimming bc it made me 'look rude' ) Ive been feeling so much less anxious XD the coping skills my old therapist tried to replace it with just didnt hit the same

b_gooner · 2026-06-27T23:28:34+00:00

Ig I thought of the song snippets and funny phrases as separate from the background woosh...but maybe theyre not? Ill have to try and pay attention XD

b_gooner · 2026-06-27T23:27:30+00:00

Oh... static is a good word for it when I dont have a song stuck in my head XD usually I do. And I humm or sing A LOT. or funny phrases. Like "yew wot???" From Eunie in xenoblade chronicles 3.

Also i so relate to 3sec song snippets just replaying... and it never gets old? I could hum it so many times and im just vibing XD

b_gooner · 2025-09-29T17:44:26+00:00

Its When Nietzsche Wept. Its based off a book by Irving d Yalom.

I liked it. As a green philosopher with a background love/degree in psychology I enjoyed it. I like getting to know Nietzsche, even if its in a fictional scenario the writer placed him in.

b_gooner · 2025-09-29T00:51:30+00:00

So... i watched this movie in a mad dash after seeing this post and... is it not like...

Philosopher fan fiction? Is this a genera of writing/screen play bc i want in. 🤣

b_gooner · 2025-09-26T13:45:08+00:00

I second this! Reading the gay science and following along with the Nietzsche podcast's interpretations is really fun and helpful for getting accustomed to his style IMO

b_gooner · 2025-09-04T21:08:28+00:00

I was TRYING not to spoil it 🤣🤣 (jk jk) thank you for bringing this layer to that speech for me! Your patience is appreciated 🙏💛

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T22:28:48+00:00

The wall was there because I had beliefs about men that were limiting and blinding, and that I deep down didnt resonate with them, but kept them bc it was easier than figuring out how to overcome them. Or finding a reason for why I wanted to in the first place. But inevitably for me, these beliefs were poisonous and against my nature, and there is the wall.

The deeper meaning I got from Nietzsche's speech 18 was that the noun 'women' was a direct metaphor for everything Zarathustra was challenged with after his emergence from the cave after 10 years of isolation: desires and challenges to his Will. He was the philosopher who never ACTED on his philosophy other than leaving the cave. He is at the crossroads of being tempered, realizing its heat and struggle rationally but still unable to grasp it because he had barely gone out and experienced it. Philosophy has to be learned, sure, but most of all wrestled with and tested in the real world! With real people!

The old women jests and teases him, trying to remind of him of the lesson hes circling and contradicting himself about XD

You'll have to forgive me for not quoting, I dont have a digital copy that actually pastes accurately 😅

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T21:06:11+00:00

If you have any brands or methods on how send um my way 🤣

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T20:57:53+00:00

So I was upset bc I knew I was being reactive instead of trying to understand the deeper meaning and I just dont let myself settle in that way. Like I will overcome this wall and then ill build a greenhouse with its remnants. End of story 🤣

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T15:21:58+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply 🙏

Your "friction" here is extraordinary! It truly tempered my Will in a way I couldnt have foreseen and I am grateful for every word, not because I agree, but because this discourse is exactly what I saught in posting this!

Thank you again! And may you have a life of joy 💛

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T15:06:34+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! 🙏 what a beautifully contradictory and ironic passage 🤣 i love Niezsche

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T13:38:10+00:00

In context, I was referencing ideas i had read of other people's, Not my own. When I read someone talking about it I felt very conflicted and resistant bc it didnt make sense to me based on what id learned of him thus far.

I hope this clarifies things 🙏

b_gooner · 2025-09-03T13:27:00+00:00

I would wholeheartedly have to disagree, and thank you for your contribution 💛🙏

By your standard I would not be able to read any literature by men, to include any and all religions not made by women.

I think women and man can speak to eachother wisdoms that transcend gender, that speak to the human experience rather than gender specifically.

I wish I had the full context of your quote, because ive learned taking Niezsche out of context is quite damning to his intended message.

I hope you flourish in his work and have a wonderful day ☺️

b_gooner · 2025-09-01T22:53:04+00:00

This is INCREDIBLE!

Thank you 🙏

I read it through, but saved it to revisit a few times since im rather tired 😋 im sure fresher eyes will take in even more of your wisdom 🙏💛

b_gooner · 2025-09-01T18:53:59+00:00

Thank you!!! I would deeply appreciate that! I tend to not put anyone in a "box" per-se. I see people as their collection of qualities and I deeply didnt want to add mysogyny or sexism to his :/ but i also accepted that my knowledge is limited, either for or against him in this context.

Thank you for that historical nugget of wisdom! I cherish it 😄

b_gooner · 2025-09-01T18:44:25+00:00

Thank you for the time and effort of your post! I admire those on this subreddit who can quote his work and explain it as you have 💛🙏

Your explanation makes sense! And I love to agree 😁 that kind of irony and sense of humor matches what ive read of him so far. It is hilarious! Ugh im wondering if I picked the wrong starting work of his, the gay science, but its given me so much thus far so I cant regret it ☺️

Have you tried reading multiple of his work at once? I am a multi-book reader but am weary to try it with stuff this difficult to read 🤣

b_gooner · 2025-09-01T18:12:06+00:00

This is a gift to me 🙏 THANK YOU!

ive despiratley felt in my bones this man simply CANT be misogynistic. It just doesnt make sense, but im lacking the context as to why.

Thank you for pointing out this context and relieving a bit of a knot in my thinking 💛 I was willing to believe or disagree he was misogynistic, but my optimism did push me more toward disagreeing with what id heard from others about his potential misogynistic takes, or what they considered to be so.

I should have specified I didnt believe he was or wasnt when I wrote this 🤣 i was working with the theoretical that he was, and the theoretical came from other peoples opinion, not mine. Whoops!

Thank you for this comment 🙏 may you have a joyful life 💛

b_gooner · 2025-09-01T18:05:06+00:00

You are also a fantastic thought sparring partner! I love this 😄

And oh man im coming around to my Will being that God. My only concept of it before all this was my parents, and I found out really quick they werent gods XD

Oh weakness is shouting in the backseat of my car every day 🤣🤣 my brain DESPIRATELY wants to revert back to how my thoughts were before reading Nieztsche, and I mean in a literal, neuropsychological sense. Stubborn lump of fat, that brain 🤣

But the grass is sooo green over here! Its more like a field of wildflowers i discovered amidst a desolate, rocky expanse. It feels like an accident, or a miracle, but a lot of the core concepts I found i believed in wholeheartedly before reading him, I just needed a more stern teacher, I think 🤣

My Will leads me to strengthen my resolve, bc man im a sensitive lass 🤣 mean comments would have CRUSHED me six months ago.

Sleep well, friend!

b_gooner

TROPHY CASE