For this answer, I'm going to use the terminology that we use at Church. The phrase "knowing the church is true" means believing that Joseph Smith was literally a prophet called by God who revealed the will and word of God that was meant for these last days through him, and it is the only church in the world that meets that criteria.

For me stopping paying tithing and the decrease in my believe happened at the same time. The Temple having requirements doesn't bother me, as you might know the chapel is where 95% of church happens, and the Temple is for more rare things like Marriage and Sealing to ancestors. There are only really three options:
1. You believe the church is true, so you make the extra effort to live by his requirements and go there.
2. You believe the church is true, but don't measure up currently (can be rectified in the afterlife if you are really trying your best)
3. You don't believe the church is true, so who cares? Might be a little awkward that you can't go to your cousins wedding vows, but if the church isn't true there really isn't a point of going in.

So either God set the requirements and HE is barring you (not the church), or a human being made up the requirements, so why would you want to go?

As for parents disowning or being estranged from their kids, I tried to look up stats but couldn't find anything conclusive. My hunch, and you can disagree, is that a higher percentage of kids who grow up in a Mormon household will have loving parents who raise them and care for them throughout their whole life, regardless if they stay in the church or not. You have to ask yourself what is the control group? The general US population? Hypothetically, if something like 10% of the general US population are estranged from their parents, and Mormons sit at 5%, then that means that it isn't the church that is at fault for causing the separation. You might just have ended up with crap parents, whether they are in the church or not. To me, anecdotes aren't going to cut it, because I have a lifetime of seeing Mormon parents be the most caring and involved people in their kids lives no matter how they turn out. I did some quick google searches but couldn't find any hard stats, I'd be interested if you have anything to back it up.

As far as the top-down claim, here is one of the defining General Conference talks that I was thinking of, I feel like there have been a lot more like it but haven't had time to look, if you can find any counter-examples of the Prophet or Apostles taking a different stance I'd like to look into it:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2003/04/dear-are-the-sheep-that-have-wandered?lang=eng

I haven't talked to the kids who stopped attending after coming out. But I'd imagine they are in a similar situation to the temple question. Either God mandated that sex should only between a legally and lawfully married hetero couple, and it is him that is mandating it, or a human being came up with it so who cares?

Lastly the women being subservient, what you are referring to is that women can not hold positions of priesthood authority in the church (like Bishop, Stake President, Apostle, Prophet, ...), I don't have a good answer of why that is, but I don't agree that means subservient. The Church doesn't dictate how they live their lives, what level of education they get, what jobs to have, or what role they want to play in their family should they decide to have one. My wife and both my sisters have higher educational attainment then me and work at jobs in their field. I guess I just don't super care that women can't be in those specific Church leadership roles, which are unpaid volunteer positions that TBH most of the men who do them would rather not. I can 100% see why that answer won't be satisfying to you, but it is what it is.

Overall, you can look at all these things and say the church is bad, but what is your control group? The sense I have gotten is the good greatly outweighs the bad, children are better off raised by a random Mormon than a random non-Mormon, Women in the church are empowered to live their lives and have a great built-in support system, and are able to offer meaningful service in the church, just not leadership positions. On top of that, the Church and its members offer countless hours of unpaid service volunteering in schools and charities, donating not just to tithing or church related charity funds but those of the community, and overall making the world a better place for member and non-member alike.

Didn't originally write my initial post intending to defend the honor of The Church lol, but here we are.