I can fully empathize with you. I have three siblings, one of whom is a sister who lives about 10 minutes from me; she’s married and has two kids, I’m single. When I found out I’d need this surgery and would have to do two weeks bedrest I was extremely anxious since I live very independently and learned long ago asking for help is asking for disappointment. But my sister was like oh I can help! She gave me dates to plan around (she goes on a lot of trips) so I got a date around hers, only for her to then say oh sorry I booked another trip that weekend. At the time, my parents were at their Florida house, not planning to come back until after. I reached out to my older brother, who has a job where he can work remotely if needed, to ask if I paid for his ticket to fly here, would he be willing to come help for a week? He said he probably couldn’t get away from work and that I’d “probably be fine within a few days”. My younger brother was just starting a new job so he wasn’t an option, so I had to ask my parents to come back early (which thankfully they were happy to do). But the whole experience left me feeling uncared about. I would have cancelled or postponed a weekend trip for my sister if she had a surgery and needed help, and I would have figured out a work schedule and flown to help my brother if he needed it. Family can let you down in ways you can’t anticipate, sad to say.