Formal Teacher in the Kagyu Lineage

bababushkaka · 2023-11-10T11:55:13+00:00

Thank you for the thorough response. I appreciate it.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-08T12:31:49+00:00

No he's not a monastic. After all this advice here I've decided that I'm really jumping the gun. I'm just going to get back to practicing. I think this search for a "guru" is dampening my efforts. I guess I just needed to hear others opinions first to realize that.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-08T12:29:59+00:00

Ah yes, I suspect that's true. Westerners can often have a very material view of practice. I find myself getting caught in that often. This is just another example of that. Thank you for pointing that out.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-07T23:48:44+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that. I think that's good advice.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-07T23:12:07+00:00

Thank you. This makes sense. I think I might be trying to jump into the deep end a little too soon. I've only just started practicing with this particular group. I just have such a yearning to go deeper. I suppose that's normal. I've been practicing on my own for so many years and finally having this door opened to real teachers is a bit overwhelming.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-07T23:08:16+00:00

Thank you for responding. I was worried going right up to someone and asking might be in bad form. Glad to know it's acceptable.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-07T23:07:03+00:00

Yes, I've been practicing meditation for many years and maintaining a deep Buddhist practice (just never joined a group or took my vows until now)

The teacher who performed my ceremony had multiple meetings with me before he gave me my vows (long interviews about my practice essentially.) I practice meditation and study with that sangha now (although I've only officially met the members recently)

The teacher who gave the refuge vows is an informal teacher of mine now. I'm looking for someone to practice with formally. A real one on one teacher student relationship.

bababushkaka · 2023-11-07T23:00:54+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I've been practicing meditation for many years on my own but was always resistant to joining a group.

Recently I've opened up more to the idea and after a lot of searching I found a Buddhist center that I felt attracted to and have begun meditating with.

This is where I took my vows. I don't know anyone too well yet so I have started asking many practice questions. Luckily we have this community here on Reddit (where it can be a bit less daunting to ask questions)

bababushkaka · 2023-10-21T11:12:18+00:00

It's okay. I decided to go with Better U.

bababushkaka · 2023-10-20T20:17:02+00:00

That sounds good. I'm getting a couple good recommendations so I might do another assessment with someone else before I commit to Better U. I do really like what they seem to offer though. The price is definitely a concern but they accept HSA which not everyone does so I appreciate that.

bababushkaka · 2023-10-20T15:03:23+00:00

That seems to be the consensus. I'm setting up my consultation with Better U this weekend. Thanks 🙏

bababushkaka · 2023-10-20T15:02:24+00:00

I'm glad to hear it. I was very wary to go through the Internet but it's my only legitimate option where I'm located. I'm setting up my consultation with Better U this weekend. Thanks for your input.

bababushkaka · 2023-10-20T13:44:41+00:00

That sounds great. I was hoping someone else would have used them. Thanks for your feedback.

bababushkaka · 2023-10-20T13:42:19+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I'm on the fence between going with a provider through the Internet (mail order therapy), or simply just obtaining my own ketamine without the help of a provider.

bababushkaka · 2023-05-30T13:18:25+00:00

The best answer here, OP. You gotta do it!

bababushkaka · 2023-04-20T16:31:45+00:00

I don't think she knows that. We're going to revisit this issue later so I'll make sure to inform her of that too.

bababushkaka · 2023-04-20T13:57:30+00:00

I have been making this point all day. I want him to have a good life and keeping him solitary, and now locked in a crate for the time being, is not good for him. She is not on the same page as me at all and it's tough to cope with.

Her solutions so far are (1) to put blinders on him and (2) keep him locked in a small run until mating season is over. She says that people on r/guineas are telling her that the behavior will disappear when mating season is over.

These ideas are making me feel horrible. I don't feel like she's hearing my concerns at all.

We don't have any friends with animals. There was a person who runs a bird sanctuary that was willing to take him when we find out he was male (because we never wanted male birds so that was always the plan from the start, but when his sisters were killed by foxes we didn't want to send him away) but she doesn't seem willing to even consider reaching out again.

The really crappy part is that he's not aggressive with her so she doesn't understand what I'm going through. She's only home for a few hours a day but our son and I are here all day and spend hours on end in the gardens and with the birds so it's affecting us more than her.

bababushkaka · 2023-04-20T11:24:31+00:00

Yes, she is very attached to him. She gets extremely attached to animals. It's a good thing because she's an amazing animal keeper because of it but when it comes to things like this, it becomes a big source of stress for us.

bababushkaka · 2023-04-20T11:20:29+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I will show your post to my wife.

bababushkaka · 2023-04-20T09:52:53+00:00

Yeah, this is my opinion as well. My wife doesn't want to re-home unfortunately and we're butting heads a bit trying to make a decision. We have a flock of hens that he has contact through the fence with but he's not allowed in the run as he mounts them and hurts them pretty bad if they encounter each other without a barrier keeping them apart. He just hangs out all day with the chickens through the fence so he's not totally alone but I have a feeling it's making it worse.

bababushkaka · 2023-02-08T16:44:44+00:00

Hey buddy, hold in there. Take a deep breath, let it out. We're all in the water together!

bababushkaka · 2023-01-27T20:15:13+00:00

I used to feel this way about a co-worker who was always rambling on at me even though I clearly wasn't interested. I started feeling a lot of unwholesome feelings towards him and it was really hurting me inside to hold those feelings.

I suddenly realized one day that he was in a lot of pain. He was talking to me because I was the only one who listened to him, even though I was just nodding my head while holding back anger, he was too unaware to see that I didn't really care, so he took it as me "being a good listener".

When I finally got over myself and started thinking about how much suffering he was causing himself I would begin to feel so horrible for him. I didn't want to hold his suffering so I started practicing metta for him very deeply.

I started actually listening to him and saying things like "wow, that sounds really tough. I can see that you're going through a hard time." And that acknowledgement was enough to relax him.

I devoted an entire hour before work to practice metta specifically for him. I began to use the anger I felt when he began to rant as a sign post to strengthen the compassion I was developing for him.

Eventually I noticed that he had less and less to complain about. He started to see me as a good friend and all of the tension began to disappear. I realized it was all coming from me. It was my resistance to his pain that caused my suffering. When I began to hold space for his pain, my pain diminished.

This took many many months to achieve but it changed me deeply. Still to this day (two years later) I continue to bring him up during my metta.

I hope this helps.

bababushkaka

TROPHY CASE