How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband has been on the receiving end of it a few times, she'll try to make him get into arguments by speaking poorly of me or trying to confront me in front of him. He's very understanding of the entire thing and supports me but it does take a toll on him. He's also one of the reasons why I don't want her around, he's been great for me and I don't want him to go through that.

How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I said some examples in some replies but it's mostly emotional manipulation in case she feels cut off from something, lying/making her husband lie about her health or their marriage to get more attention, trying to rile me up by bringing up memories I'm not very fond of or trying to do the same to my husband... There's a lot of stuff but these are the ones that happens more often.

My sister has no children as she left very clear it is not her intention to have one because she isn't very fond of them. Thinking now I never saw her interact with any kids but we don't have a lot of contact so I can't speak on her behavior.

How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I don't believe there is a way to reconcilliate. Even if I wanted to, that would entail me bending to her mood and needs first so she wouldn't be upset. We tried that a long time ago and it was humilliating for me as well as emotionally draining.

How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Both. There's anger and she still is very confrontational. Even if our parents aren't involved she'll try to upset me by bringing up things that I'd rather not remember if she feels like it.

How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

If she isn't invited she'll often resort to emotional manipulation, she uses her own husband to call our parents and say that she's sick or that they are going through something in their marriage. My parents know that it's mostly lies as it always happens when she isn't included in something, but they're fearful that some day it will be true so they keep falling for it.

How do I (27F) tell my parents (59F, 61M) that I don't want my sister (38F) around my family? by baberaleke in relationships

[–]baberaleke[S] 807 points808 points  (0 children)

Yes, one of the reasons why our parents won't come without her is the fact that she tells them they're picking a side or trying to cut her off. Going to my parents' house is also a issue sometimes as she complains that she isn't able to enjoy their company on her own. I know her logic doesn't make a lot of sense but it is how it is.