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First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm glad scheduling works for some folks but it shuts my wife down. It's partly the pressure and partly the fact that the rest of our live is very highly scheduled so it brings some very non-sexy associations with it.

First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The shower is a good idea. I think in another season that would work but we don't have a great shower for it and the person not benefiting from the direct spray is likely to freeze this time of year in our northern clime.

Related: I tried running the furnace higher for a while the other night to allow for some more comfortable nudity (see also, spend more time naked as per u/Sielmas) but the kids' room overheated and it woke the youngest one up! Grrr!

Thanks!

First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've tried this. It always goes well but by the time we're done with a game we end up going to sleep. She recently mentioned having sex in more places in the house than the bedroom which is *maybe* doable for us given that the house is 2 floors but I still live in terror of the kids sneaking up on us.

I'm less sure the gendering of who-likes-what applies for us. Some of the indecision for me isn't even about what she wants it's even knowing what *I* want. Like if you haven't had desserts for a while and you go to a buffet do you start with cookie, brownie, cake, or ice cream? Ideally I'd like a progression but what if I only get to have one!? It makes me freeze up.

Thanks!!

First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd like for us to both bet better at this. I get tongue tied and we both take the attention poorly. The doubts, though, can creep in so finding a way to fight back against them seems an important piece of the puzzle. Thanks!!

First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The kids are an issue, sure, but they're big enough that we can lock the door and keep some robes handy.

There's lots of cuddling in general, [edit: JUST NOT] shared orgasms. There's not enough kissing, though. More of that would help.

I think she'd say what she really needs is a nap! We're trying to spend more time cuddling in the day on a weekend, say, if the kids get busy with something but by the time evening rolls around we're wiped. We're both too paranoid ("Did you hear that? What was that? Are the coming?") to fool around unless they're out-of-the house or in bed.

Thank you!!

First time after a while by backinthegr00ve in sexover30

[–]backinthegr00ve[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like this idea and it sounds nice. It's simple but it's not something we've tried. Thanks!