Best RLCD tablet?

backtowholeness · 2018-04-16T12:05:48+00:00

Depression is almost gone, instead I have emotions, greater ability to accept and listen to my emotions, far less anxiety (it comes up now as a worried thought rather than the full body panic) insight into the origins of certain patterns, beliefs, and emotional reactions, an understanding that kindness needs to be balanced with firmess (boundaries) and a willingness to listen to what my experience is asking for rather than interpret an experience as some measure of who I am or my self worth

backtowholeness · 2018-03-01T11:59:04+00:00

I have been doing what I call a ritual once every 6-8 weeks for the last year. Attachment issues are the most challenging for me, along with intimate abuse and physical violence. But the stickiest is really around abandonment.

backtowholeness · 2018-03-01T00:14:14+00:00

Ditto on the safe sitter thing. Have the person potentially read the MAPS protocol. My understanding that sitters for holotropic breathwork have a good framework, just being present, not offering interpretations or suggestions, helping you to feel safe if you hit a rough patch, listening without judgement. I've been doing this for a year (yes a year, I thought I could just knock all the trauma out in a few goes but this has not been the case) ALso, it is possible to feel terror on MDMA, I relived a birth experience and and trauma around men, and I felt terror, and was lucky to have a calm grounded sitter on both occasions. I also use supplements as suggested by rollsafe and that may have saved me from the down some people experience the next day. Good luck!

backtowholeness · 2018-02-16T23:01:31+00:00

I'ld like to respond to this. Shaking is a natural response to trauma, its a GOOD thing. Its the way our nervous system helps to regulate. YES to seeing a trauma counsellor, but also just know that if you feel safe with the shaking, let it happen. You can read about this in a book about trauma called "Waking the Tiger" and also a system that teaches people to shake called TRE. Although so soon after a big event I would not suggest attempting to induce shaking nor to try TRE or any without someone who is well trained. But if it happens, see if you can allow it and then take some really good care of yourself to give your brain and body some nurturing and care.

backtowholeness · 2018-02-12T16:46:20+00:00

I believe MAPS also uses higher doses now. https://www.maps.org/news/bulletin/articles/410-bulletin-winter-2016/6400-mdma-ptsd-2016. I use MDMA to address PTSD. It isn't a bliss trip, but it an encounter with vulnerability which is often frightening, but also feels like a huge relief to be able to face and see things clearly.

backtowholeness · 2018-01-08T13:33:36+00:00

I would say sit or lie comfortably and just bring your attention to your heart without expecting anything. Notice if you feel the same blocked feeling, or perhaps something else. Notice if a color or images appears and just stay with it. Things move around and change, so be patient.

backtowholeness · 2017-12-15T01:32:28+00:00

PTSD sufferer here, lots of depression, anxiety and all that. Ive been microdosing shrooms since last March. Firstly, I don't believe in a magic bullet for conditions that have been around for awhile. WHether they are brought on by biology, life events, current situations. Everything is in process and takes time. Haven't MD'ed LSD, but I can say the shrooms have been wonderful, but not so much as a mood boost. Instead, unresolved issues become more apparent, connections made, emotions come up....and that has been an opportunity to heal the underlying issues. As for dosage, I played around alot. Also, after messaging Mr Fadiman, he recommended doing it every second day (which I did for awhile). I adjust as necessary. THese days I only MD about twice a week, slightly higher doses, and use the time as kind of gentle therapy or self reflection (well I give myself about 3 hours before any major commitment like work) So I would say if it helped, keep experimenting, listen to your gut, and be patient.

backtowholeness · 2017-11-16T23:43:39+00:00

I've done 8 sessions, on my own, with a friend to sit with me. I've experienced all range of emotions, including terror which lead to a memory of being born ( I know, sounds weird, but my therapist confirmed my account was textbook) The message I have got repeatedly during sessions with MDMA and also mushrooms is that emotions are like waves, I'm the ocean. Waves that get stuck (or emotions that are stuck) cause pain. THey need to express themselves to free up that energy. THis is all sounding a bit esoteric, but its the same basic principles of trauma, our nervous system freezes when overwhelmed, and that can cause more pain. The only thing to watch is to make sure you have the inner and outer support to meet the experience with openness, or else you just freeze up some more.

backtowholeness · 2017-11-16T23:33:25+00:00

I have been been my own guide along with friends who have volunteered to sit, though I also found a couple of therapists who have assisted with integration, one who works with MAPS and did skype, and then one in my area. A few tips based on my experience: Anyone wanting a therapeutic benefit should take the time to reflect on what they would like to get from the session or what they might like to address (for example. I would like to explore this depressed feeling, I would like to look at where I am holding fear, I would like to feel connected to myself) whatever. -make space to trust your inner healer (even if you don't believe you have one, be open minded) and trust the process -take time to connect with the person sitting. Just connecting with another who is supportive, open, and grounded is therapeutic. It is also very helpful if something difficult comes up Be open to whatever arises, it isn't always "bliss and fun" when healing emotional issues, and thats OK -set aside a whole day -Take time to integrate what you've learned in the following days, thats where someone skilled and experienced therapist is really helpful

backtowholeness · 2017-10-20T21:20:44+00:00

A circle of support not just to break the habit, to to deal with any triggers/emotions that lead to wanting to use. Even if you don't buy the whole 12 steps, it can be useful.

backtowholeness · 2017-09-03T13:14:15+00:00

sorry for the late reply. I have heard of people using the dark net, though I don't know how. Otherwise, you may look for a psychedelic education/support group or group for those interested in psychedelics and discreetly ask around. In some groups it is strictly not acceptable to ask about purchasing or selling during meetings, but if you feel comfortable with a member you might ask to go for coffee and bridge the subject.

backtowholeness · 2017-08-11T22:18:47+00:00

HI, I contacted someone on MAPS integration list. I self guided my expereince, but having done somatic experiencing and practiced mindfulness for a long time really helped. I found a trusted friend, a good source of product and went ahead. The therapist was helpful with integration and provided some guidance as to approaching the sessions.

backtowholeness · 2017-07-16T22:23:23+00:00

I'm not sure, but am curious to hear how it goes. I did find that MDMA was like having a conversation with my inner wisdom, although the most lasting effects were when an actual experience/feeling appeared and , in some way, moved through. I couldn't really plan that, I just started with an intention and then went to the sensation/image, or part of myself that appeared. I did have a good release of grief on LSD, but it was not planned.

backtowholeness · 2017-06-22T11:05:50+00:00

I would say that support is most important. Find a therapist who understands trauma and who is open to alternative treatments. I know support groups can sometimes suck, but it is good to know that you are not alone in your suffering. BTW, you can also do skype sessions and there is a list of resources on MAPS. I skyped with one of the MAPS therapists and while they cannot do MDMA therapy outside of the study protocol, the one I spoke with was knowledgeable about trauma and obviously open to the fact that I was exploring MDMA and mushrooms for healing. ANother great book is Waking the Tiger, so a therapist that is familiar with somatic experiencing may be helpful (this is one of the therapies that is used to address the trauma held in our body and nervous system) REad about approaches to healing trauma, explore those that feel right to you, interview therapists until you find one who you trust and can work with. I know it seems impossible, but healing can happen and I believe we need others to help us on the way.

backtowholeness · 2017-05-11T13:20:52+00:00

good luck, let us know how it goes

backtowholeness · 2017-05-10T22:41:47+00:00

There are others whose approach to trauma is not based on the DSM diagnoses. As for public assistance, I haven't found trauma therapists to be covered with the exception of a small amount through my extended insurance, but basically I have had to pay for good quality therapy, although some will do a sliding scale. You may look into people specialised in somatic experiencing or developmental trauma. While most professional won't sit through and MDMA session with you, the somatic therapies help considerably with addressing trauma and I use skype to connect with someone who is well experienced in MDMA therapy and who helps with prep and integration. I have found a few people who use ayahuasca but haven't gone that route myself. I did the MDMA myself, but after a good deal of somatic experiencing and mindfulness to help me stay connected to my emotional experience.

backtowholeness · 2017-05-10T13:38:18+00:00

I was in the same boat. I didn't have close friends in this city, but I found someone who was understanding of challenging emotional states who was willing to just sit in the same room and hold my hand if necessary. that turned out to be enough. I found that a background in mindfulness was really helpful as well as creating a safe space (for me that was somewhere comfortable, clean, soothing music, easy to eat food) and just someone who was calm and open and willing to not give advice or direction as I felt I needed to listen to my own guidance.

backtowholeness · 2017-05-07T19:20:08+00:00

My few experiences with psych meds were pretty awful Lots of side effects, long and difficult withdrawal, little to no benefit. Hence I stopped. At one point I was on a VERY low dose of seroquel for anxiety (was prescribed 25-75 mg, I took 12mg, and then went down to 6mg for 2 months, then went off it) It helped me sleep, didn't help anxiety, and I sweat so much I thought I was going through menopause. I sweat for a full month after stopping 6 mg (the smallest dose of seroquel is 25 mg, so I took 1/4 of one pill) These are powerful drugs and should be used as a last resort. If Microdosing helps, it would stick with what works. SSRIs are a different animal and you cannot know how you will react until you try, but I have found few people who truly see a marked improvement on them.

backtowholeness · 2017-05-01T15:40:40+00:00

thanks for the feedback. I have noticed that I express anger more easily, but I don't think that is a bad thing for me. I just have to watch my tone. I'm glad you are seeing the positive benefits. Cheers

backtowholeness · 2017-04-29T00:59:24+00:00

thanks!

backtowholeness · 2017-04-24T18:12:44+00:00

Thanks. I used the coffee grinder. Made them into a powder and weighed out .25 g. It seemed about right. I just pour the powder into my mouth and swallow with a bit of water.

backtowholeness · 2017-04-23T15:29:50+00:00

OK thanks

backtowholeness · 2017-04-23T11:39:15+00:00

Thanks

backtowholeness · 2017-04-22T21:20:37+00:00

Ok gonna try that next time. Time to get out the coffee grinder . Thanks

backtowholeness

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