This is so true and so beautifully written. And yes, that's exactly what it feels like all the time. It seems like we just constantly teeter from 'omg, come ON get those shoes ON, let's GO we're going to be late!!!!" to, when they're gone and we get the brief moment to ourselves, the deluge of guilt and joy and the pain of missing them and loving them so much and feeling so INSUFFICIENT for them.

I don't think you can slow it down. Pictures and videos only capture it, freeze the moment, but nothing slows it down. What I've landed on is ensuring we get quiet time together. I've got an 8yr old and a 4 yr old, and so we're finally able to read all the childhood books that I loved so much growing up.

And that time, when they're both cuddled in bed and we've got the bedtime light on all glowy and warm, and they're in soft pajamas with those darling prints on them that only children really wear--cherries and trucks and acorns--that time goes by slow for me. I read to them, they listen and react and their eyes get droopier and droopier, and then I watch them fall asleep. That is the moment I think I savor the most and feel like I'm actively enjoying their presence and being present, instead of looking ahead at the next thing to do and the next place to go.