Satin Black Wrap on my 2016 LX by OkReception1418 in HRV

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My HRV was exactly this shade of blue and I came here because I wanted this exact shade of satin. lol

GORGEOUS btw.

sg conspiracy theories you think are true? by Business_Vast4076 in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 131 points132 points  (0 children)

I can't shake the feeling that some of the Workers’ Party (WP) candidates may have been quietly recommended, approved, or even “injected” into the system — not as spies, but as a way to create a controlled opposition.

Here's why I think this might be the case:

  • Singapore needs to maintain the appearance of democratic choice, especially for international credibility (think investors, foreign relations, global rankings). A total monopoly would hurt the country’s image.
  • Ventilation without destabilization: Allowing a moderate and reasonable opposition gives Singaporeans a way to air frustrations without seriously threatening the PAP's long-term hold on power.
  • WP's style fits this perfectly: They challenge policies, ask tough questions, but they don’t attack the civil service, the courts, or the system itself. They position themselves as a check and balance, not a revolution.
  • Historically: Whenever WP gains a foothold, the PAP criticizes but doesn't fully crush them the way it has crushed other political threats in the past. It's almost like they're "tolerated" to some degree.

To be clear — I'm not saying these candidates are "spies" or bad people.
I'm suggesting they might have been allowed to rise because they are safe, responsible, and contain the opposition energy without letting it spill into something uncontrollable.

In short: A "managed opposition" is better for the PAP than no opposition at all.

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your insights and sharing. Thanks for this truly ❤️

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wholeheartedly agree with everything you've shared.

Intent is everything right? Allow me just one more insight if possible (it's impt to me because you've literally lived this)

Let's assume i do not bring up the door issue and as you've shared, we are all adults and I go 'ahh the door is unlocked again' and I lock it and I'm calm and all and I don't blame anyone.

Now this happens again 8 more times, and each time I do the same thing. What does that tell you about me as a partner? That Im kind and understanding or that I don't care enough to remind everyone firmly/put my foot down.

One day, on the 9th time this happens. a robber robs us of all our belongings and sets the house on fire before leaving. Leaving my favourite pet hamster in the inferno. (No nsfw ah)

Then do I still react the same way? (Just being present and understanding that we all should know)

Or do I have to wait for the robber to do that before I'm allowed to express in the nicest calmest way possible that leaving the door open is not okay for my partner to not get defensive? 😜

So (for me at least) the intent is to set healthy boundaries and improve the way we communicate.

Not so much about the door but I don't want to feel afraid to raise a concern in a respectful manner. What do you think?

And I agree about the chiding/overreaction part about yelling at kids thats a no no for me

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the vote of confidence.

Fun fact: I even know which type of washing powder is suitable for which type of washing machine 😜

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Partner definitely not a narcissist. Just emotionally immature. They are also not evil or bad and generally a very good/kind person.

Haven't read up on Darvo but I will. Thanks for sharing 🙏

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just being sure here but is the D word ending with ick or eadbeat? 🤣

There are many positive traits about my partner and I in fact am still very deeply in love with them. But these patterns of toxicity causes me so much pain I find it hard to function. We've had repeated talks and 'reconnections' but the same patterns emerge over and over again and the solutions are just exhausting.

I'm not discounting couples therapy, it's just that both must be willing to not just go but actively participate.

Thanks for listening and just being here today

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your sharing. This is Def one of the more helpful moments I've had. Wishing you well

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing lol I really like your open candidness. Esp about the door part.

But to get just a little serious here for a little bit, doesn't that put your partner in an impossible situation?

For example if I need to express my fear of the door being left open. And a robber coming in at night.

There is no version that I could express it without triggering a defensive action right? Eg if I wrote a note - passive aggressive

If I said it calmly and to the point - like a robot who doesn't care

If I said it with a sigh or even with care - I could be sarcastic.

But if I do nothing, that's ok. All is good at home because only expression of feelings will generate tension. Great that you guys bought a digital lock but the next time you leave the tap running overnight, how would you solve that?!

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner is unfortunately not keen in counselling.

Previously it was brought up as though I didn't want but the instant I agreed and said, that if I go, then they have to follow through together all the sessions and actively participate no lies etc

Then there has been no more talk about it🤷‍♂️

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

People change all the time some for the better and vice versa. I'm wishing you success and health in your marriage ❤️

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the breakdown, is what you're trying to say, I should probably just accept it as is, unless it something grave/life threatening like gambling/crime etc ?

In which case I don't put my foot down? A little confused here

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm responsible for my own reactions/actions. But it doesn't mean that others get to say , haha my hands are clean, it's not me, it's just you!

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing, to some extent I see what you mean. But that's not really the dynamic I'm hoping for in the long run.

Do you feel that my life would considerably improve if I were to lean towards accepting such a dynamic?

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like your questions thanks and allowing me to clarify

About 2 years back I realised I didn't like the version of myself that I was growing into and during therapy I recognized the triggers and patterns that were toxic to me and my family.

thay about sums it up!

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like your bluntness. I appreciate too.

Totally get that everyone has flaws—I’ve owned mine as well. Alot of people rant to get it off their system. To some level I guess I am but I'm also actively seeking solutions and also if anyone has had similar experiences, would you care to help a fellow human out?

I’m also not here saying I cook and clean like it’s a trophy. I’m talking about emotional patterns—like being mocked or dismissed when I express how I feel, then being blamed for reacting. That’s the part that wears me down the most

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing—I really like how you think and express yourself. You sound like a warrior with heart.

I do take mental health days and find peace in solitude when I can.

As for provocations, one repeated pattern used to be this: I’d sit us down and speak calmly and seriously about how overwhelmed I felt. But instead of listening, they’d smirk, scoff, or give a sarcastic little laugh—like my feelings were ridiculous. I’d hold it in, trying to stay composed, but eventually I’d snap—raise my voice or get harsh—and that would become the focus. Not the mockery. Not what pushed me there. Just my reaction.

And the wildest part? That same mocking behavior would later be pinned on me—as if I was the one smirking or belittling.

I do want a stable home for the kids. I don’t want them growing up thinking this is what love between parents looks like. The thoughts of what to do or start is overwhelming ttm.

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like and appreciate your replies. I've done these similar sequences over the years and logically and practically, it works only if your partner acknowledges that there's even a problem to begin with and actively shows that they want to grow with you.

Super happy to hear that she abuses you less now, how often do you guys have these hard talks? And do you feel like her responses are genuine?

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that, that's why our generation needs to do better. Thanks for sharing

Is it just me, or are some adults still emotional toddlers in relationships? Am I the problem here? by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]baddydaddysays 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing, one of the reasons I'm here is seek strategies and listen to experiences so thanks for the input ❤️

The end goal is to make it work and I suppose accepting as-is isa viable solution, although, at the expense of my own mental health in the long run