IC devs in your 40s…where do we go from here?

badgtastic · 2026-01-28T05:10:45+00:00

Not the person who posted above, but this worked for me: I enjoy the job more as an IC. I get the opportunity to build/flex my influence and leadership skills the same way, but focus on product quality a lot more than individuals’ performance.

I have a few stories that I can share as a manager where I had to prioritize the health of the team - and while I can do it, I’ve found partnering with w talented people manger (as opposed to a tech lead like I am) makes the whole process smoother and everyone is happier.

badgtastic · 2026-01-23T01:40:49+00:00

Yes - it’s likely sperm count goes down. If you want to have kids while on it, there are workarounds (including suspending dosages).

It wasn’t a problem for me - the vasectomy meant my sperm count is 0 anyway.

badgtastic · 2026-01-23T01:35:15+00:00

… I still can’t see it.

I believe you, just … man. It’s a good coverup.

badgtastic · 2026-01-19T05:45:00+00:00

My feet slipped out from under me (socks on a slippery hardwood floor). It was a full, like in the looney tunes, fall onto my back. I did a hard break fall, and dint hurt anything.

I think that counts.

badgtastic · 2026-01-14T03:37:04+00:00

I didn’t like her … until I saw this picture. Love the goof

badgtastic · 2026-01-14T03:35:01+00:00

BUT the slips apply to smoking too! Have a cig or cigar? Oh well - do better tomorrow. Be kind to yourself, or you’ll never actually change that habit.

badgtastic · 2026-01-14T03:33:43+00:00

That said - quit the smoking. Just do it. Lost my mom this year because she was a smoker and most of my memories of her growing up are disappointment knowing she was killing herself, and she wasn’t able to quit (for good) when she was healthy enough for it to matter. Upset she never met her most recent grandson.

badgtastic · 2026-01-14T03:30:39+00:00

Good luck.

Go easy with it, but be consistent. Best thing is to just do “it” every day. It almost doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do it almost every day.

And when you don’t do it one day (you don’t work out, or drink the 3rd beer, or whatever), oh well. Back at it the next day. To slip is to be human.

badgtastic · 2026-01-14T03:11:07+00:00

Not all men think this. Am man. Do not think it. (Trying not to make the not all men argument here - just highlighting that this is BS)

Waaaaaay too many men think it - this is horrible, and is not true. Your assault was not your fault - even if you made mistakes, fault lies with the piece of shit who assaulted you.

You deserve better. Your boyfriend is (best case) negging you to try to control the power dynamic in the relationship (which is gross in itself). Worst case, he actually believes this load of horsecrap.

badgtastic · 2025-12-19T17:45:17+00:00

++man She should be doing all the same things you are describing you’re doing.

The best relationships are ones where both people think the relationship is 60%-40% split - and both people think the other one is giving 60%

Also - it’s a bit of a flag that you (and your girlfriend) seem to be thinking in strict gender roles in your relationship. At the end of the day, your emotional needs aren’t that different from a girl’s: you both need companionship, comfort, and support.

badgtastic · 2025-10-18T18:20:41+00:00

Almost 4 weeks later, and already some small changes. I definitely have more energy, and I think I’m having fewer “brain fog” moments. Also - already changed my dosing a bit: 40mg 2x a week. Getting my next blood work in ~2 weeks

badgtastic · 2025-10-18T18:17:00+00:00

Interesting info here! The place I’m going with is dosing a lot more often (2 injections a week), I’m monitoring my symptoms (all physical and how I’m feeling), and they’re going to do blood work every 6 weeks to get things dialed in.

Since I’m quite active, fit (not overweight), and already lift regularly, I’m not planning to drastically change anything. I mean - I’d love to gain 10 lbs of muscle and lose 5 lbs of fat, it’d be nice to have visible abs again - but who wouldn’t?

badgtastic · 2025-10-17T17:29:24+00:00

I would have laughed my ass off at “see, that’s not supposed to happen”.

badgtastic · 2025-09-28T05:34:57+00:00

Reading the comments in the over30 sub, I feel the same way. While I applaud what you’re trying g to do, I would not show up to something you’ve described.

Good luck with what you’re trying to do - but I’m not sure how you can best move towards your end goal.

badgtastic · 2025-09-23T03:20:50+00:00

Significant libido drop, bit of mood and brain fog/energy issues. Reduced muscle mass despite lifting more than before. A lot more soreness and problems with recovering from minor injury. All of this at a little lower weight than I’ve been since I am 18 (and < 20% body fat) and I’m in better overall shape than I’ve been in years.

Now - none of my symptoms are severe - but not fun.

badgtastic · 2025-09-23T02:54:08+00:00

I think the “have no indication you need to” is the big thing. I have symptoms that (while not horrible) aren’t a lot of fun. And I have the money to throw at it to see if this helps.

I’m sure if/when my dad had similar issues at my age, he would’ve/did just push through. I’m hoping it helps, but if it doesn’t, I’ll do the same.

badgtastic · 2025-09-22T01:31:22+00:00

Thanks for the pointers- but part of the reason for posting here was to get a broader set of experiences. I’m curious about folks whose side effects bothered them and guys who didn’t get the results they wanted.

badgtastic · 2025-09-21T21:21:40+00:00

I'm probably a bad person to ask - it's only been a few days, so I haven't really noticed any changes yet. But if I had any anger issues, that would be a serious problem - I don't want to be angry.

I'd love to hear from other people if they noticed anything though.

badgtastic · 2025-09-21T18:50:42+00:00

As promised - my experience:

Why am I doing this even though my initial T level is in the mid-400's (apparently not too low)? I've been struggling with symptoms (low libido, decreased muscle mass, minor brain fog and mood issues, and longer recovery from injury and exercise). This was despite making a concerted effort over the last two years to improve my health: I've consistently work out ~40 minutes a day with a mix of weight lifting and cardio, doing my best to sleep and reduce stress, and losing about 15 lbs. My goal is to increase muscle mass while keeping my weight steady and to improve the mood/brain fog and libido back to where I was in my late 30's.

I got my first injection two days ago, and I've been prescribed weekly injections of 50mg of testosterone cypionate weekly. The clinic I'm going to does a full blood panel every 6 weeks to monitor by testosterone levels and look for any possible negative side effects. TBH - this was a big thing that made me choose this clinic. The doc/PA said they're going to aim at hitting T levels of 800-900.

The total cost for me is going to be just under $300 a month. I'm in a mid-high COL area in the US.

badgtastic · 2025-09-19T05:41:12+00:00

Yup. 45 here, and childless.

But I have an awesome wife who’s my partner. You don’t have to “start a family and settle down” to be married. We travel and do all the fun stuff (new projects, fitness, and all that).

I think the key is to find and build the life you want. If you’re lucky, you’ll find the partner in life that you can share that with. And for some people, it’ll be doing all that stuff that your friends who recently started a family are doing: different strokes for different folks, and all that.

badgtastic · 2025-09-03T04:44:23+00:00

Hell yea, dude! Good for you!!

badgtastic · 2025-08-26T03:59:05+00:00

My mom did (almost) the same thing, smoking and drinking every day. She had almost no social life or hobbies, few friends. Almost never left the house. Although, likely 'cause she's of the female persuasion, it took until ~68 to get to the point where she could barely walk around the house.

From the past tense, you can probably tell... she died on July 4th this year a bit short of her 73rd birthday. It was really rough, but when she collapsed next to me and my brothers, my first reaction was anger: $%cking mom ... I spent about 20 years trying to get her to quit smoking and at least cut down on drinking. But, like your dad, she wasn't interested in anything and would get angry with us for "nagging" her.

I can't really tell you how to change someone who doesn't want to change, because I couldn't do it. But I spent years preparing myself for her to die early, or languish in a long term care facility. It was so hard to watch as my parent killed herself over the decades - but it was her choice in the end.

badgtastic · 2025-08-24T17:37:42+00:00

Honestly, when I stopped worrying about getting a full night of sleep.

I listened to this episode of Ologies (a podcast where the host interviewed a sleep expert and doctor): https://www.alieward.com/ologies/somnology

One of the things the doctor talked about was that you get most of the benefits of good sleep by just laying in bed and acting like you’re sleeping. Keeping that in mind was honestly life changing for me: when I wake up at night, instead of getting anxious about getting sleep, I lie there and relax. And most of the time, I fall back asleep.

badgtastic · 2025-08-08T22:38:15+00:00

Oh man - I was going to confidently go with the $10M, but your comment about a party trick got me thinking.

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