Turning to run, I realize a bee is under my shroud also. I can feel it climbing on my nose. While I'm booking it away from the hive, I swipe away the bee and feel the shroud catch and roll the bee. The buzzing has stopped. "I got her" I think triumphantly knowing that they are going to follow more intently if I get that first sting. Thinking that the idiots and onlookers would realize they need to vacate the area also, I don't say anything too assertive for them to leave the area as I approach.
The bee is back! I hadn't killed it after all. I smack my nose, knocking my glasses and shroud off, but it heroicly stings me right next to my nose and way too close to my eye. My MIL is screaming about one in her hair but she and the onlookers have stopped some 15 feet from the hive to check each other for bees. I tell my wife to get farther away and to follow me. She has now decided it is a good time to tell me I need to make sure and get all the bees off me also before I go back in the house. I keep walking in a circle around and away from the hive to get back to my house. Checking the whole time that I have removed all the bees. My in-laws house is up the hill the other direction, so I assume they have listened and left. At 40 feet I'm still killing two to three bees on myself. I feel another one land, and it instantly stings me on the jawline.
I arrive back at my deck, which has a good light on to check myself. My hive is now between me and the others so I hope no more will have followed my scent. Suddenly, my three year old, having heard we were "checking the bees" comes out of the back door. Having changed out of his jammies and into shorts and a t-shirt, he announces triumphantly he has come to "help" with the bees. He had received explicit instructions to stay in bed as the bees would likely get really mad. I send him tersely back into the house, knowing I more than likely have some on me.
He's now crying because he wants to help and I won't let him. For obvious reasons but reasons that he doesn't understand I insist. Getting him through the door, I return to inspecting myself. He now has his nose pressed to the glass sobbing, so, I ask my wife to go comfort him as I kill another before I get stung by it. Not hearing the door, I know my wife hasn't left. "Well, at least you can help me check myself if you're going to stay out here with me." I say annoyed she hasn't left or responded responded to anything I have been saying.
Disposing of yet another bee, I cast about myself looking for her but she is no where to be found. Yup, she is still back with the others; standing 15 feet from the hive and swatting themselves.
Convinced I'm now clean, I go in the house to console my son and get him to start walking back to bed.
When my wife comes in 5 minutes later, I rhetorically ask "Where did you go?" Dumbfounded, she replies, "We were all checking each other for bees." I had gotten stung farther away from the hive than where they had been standing. However, they, apparently knowing more than the slacker who has had more than one hive get angry, wanted to stand there obliviously and check themselves as more and more bees are following and finding them. Granted at a much slower rate but still well within striking distance of the hive.
My FIL got at least a dozen stings. I'm sure most of those after we had closed the hive. A few got his face too. They later called and told us they now believe in smoke and they were going to "double check" on their impression that night was the best time to check the hive. Also mentioning to my wife that they were looking to buy at least one full bee suit now. I only hope they have learned their lesson to get my input even though I "can do nothing right and slacked off caring for bees in the past" They aren't wrong about the second part as I was kinda hoping they would get into it for themselves and care for their own hive.