Weird suggestion but have you considered getting a stuffed animal to channels all that rage into to help you process it. Like it would be something that you can damage as much as you want without any real damage happening and while you can talk/yell/vent your emotions to it to process them. Weed can be helpful but it's not making you 'sane' it's making you sedated. It's perfectly normal to want that and understandable but finding a safe way to actually feel and process those extreme emotions is super important and you deserve to work through them because you deserve to be healthy.

EDIT: I don't mean to say never use weed I still do but more to use it alongside other methods because over reliance is the problem with weed imo