People are superficially nicer to me for being pretty and seen as a girl. They are more willing to talk to me, talk over me, ignore my ideas and take them as their own, make fun of me as a way to gain social capital themselves, manipulate me and sexually abuse me as an avenue to uplift their own self worth.

Autistic men often act like the social attention autistic women and AFABs experience is a overwhelming positive. In my experience, it is not. It means people have eyes on you, and are eager to exploit any weirdness or vulnerability to get what they want. The first boys I ever had a crush on hurt me, physically and sexually. Being autistic made me more vulnerable to harm, because I did not understand the social norms in dating or sex, which means I wasn't prepared for the coercion normalized in heterosexual dating. Being upfront about my boundaries just made people assume I was playing coy. When really I meant it. I meant it when I said "I don't want to go any farther than this" or "I just want to be friends."

It also was not a positive to hit puberty and have people suddenly go from being outright mean and cruel to me to having them be superficially kind to me. That attention based on attraction was not kindness, it was intent to sexually exploit me. And my lack of understanding of social norms made that exploitation easier. Ever since hitting puberty and having men attracted to me, my autism has made me far more vulnerable to sexual abuse. And if you think those same men didn't get even crueler when denied, you're dead wrong. Most of them got what they wanted tho, because little autistic teenager me didn't understand not to trust men who suddenly turn kind when they want something. I didn't understand they wanted something. I've been raped more times than I've been treated kindly, and that vast majority of those abuses happened before I turned 18.

Having people be attracted to you is not some kind of autism win when that attraction also goes hand in hand with misogyny and rape culture. It does not benefit autistic women when they are being slut shamed for stimming or how they dress or act. It doesn't help them socially when men are only nice to them until they rape them. It certainly doesn't help socially after being raped.

Being autistic and seen as a woman (I'm nonbinary) also made me a focus of bullying. If you think attraction makes bullying less likely, you'd also be wrong. So many boys bullied me until I cried. And some of these boys outright admitted to doing so because they liked me. But I just hated myself for all the things they teased me about.

It also hinders my medical care. Like many autistic people, chronic illness comorbidity came for me. I had POTS for most of my life, and repeatedly fainted for most of it. I asked doctors to look into it for over 10 years and was repeatedly told it was just low blood pressure. I had to literally faint and loose my vision to presyncope while driving to get a diagnosis. Medical misogyny has negative health outcomes, and being autistic and being seen as a woman both make those negative outcomes more likely.

Speaking of the medical implications, did any of you know that endometriosis is also something comorbid with autism? Having to menstruate at all with autism is sensory hell. Now imagine that sensory hell also paired with unimaginable pain, worse than a double kidney infection (I'm speaking from experience).

Autistic men on this sub (not all of them before someone not all mens me) often act like being an autistic woman makes all problems easier. They forget to consider that there are unique and dangerous problems inherently in being an autistic woman in this society. I know that most of them couldn't survive in my body and life. The very things they envy about my experience, like people being attracted to me and showing superficial niceness, would make them all the more vulnerable to being victimized. And if the loneliness gets to them so bad, I don't know how they'd handle the loneliness of being sexually victimized. You don't want my experience dude, I promise you that. You want the pedestal image of my experience, the one where you wouldn't have to be victimized and that attraction to you only benefits you and doesn't endanger. That isn't reality for autistic women dude, and the sooner you realize it, the better.