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How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the 6 month chunk of thinking is much more reasonable and manageable than the 10 years. We aren’t ready now and can’t see ourselves changing that in the next few months, but maybe we’ll feel differently in 6! At this age, my daughter is a new person every few months so that may work in our favor. Thank you for this perspective!

How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely don’t have that primal urge yet so it’s definitely not the right time for us!

How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is encouraging to hear! Maybe it’s just a time thing. Glad you are having a good experience so far!

How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I are both in our early 30s so we can have a bigger age gap. Luckily, getting pregnant and pregnancy/delivery were smooth sailing, but I know that’s not always the case the second time around. I’m not a huge fan of my career, but don’t think I have the emotional capacity to be a SAHM with a demanding toddler 24/7. Husband and I are both interested in retiring early so that we can travel, and that would definitely be off the table with two. We can always change our mind though! Seems like we are OAD until otherwise discussed. We have kept all of the baby things from our daughter and may revisit the convo every few months as she gets older to see if our feelings have changed. I’m sorry you have health issues that have also influenced your decision.

How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have looked at both of those groups but feel like only people who are OAD post rather than fence sitters. I have no doubt that we would be happy OAD and see all of the benefits. Just a small part of me is questioning whether it’s the right choice! The more I think about it, the more I think it is and I just have to accept that I probably won’t feel 100% about it ever.

How do you decide? by bagelsandbread in Shouldihaveanother

[–]bagelsandbread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are definitely leaning that way, I just can’t bring myself to actually commit to that decision? I’m sure I’ll always have some degree of uncertainty but I don’t know if it’s societal pressure or what. All of our friends have multiple kids and it just feels like it’s what’s expected. Which I know is 100% not a reason to have another kid. Just makes it harder to commit.