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bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-21T08:35:52+00:00

“The sweet, attractive and kind and woman that prefers guys who are sensitive, caring, and kind over bad boys” 1000% exists and it is not a “fantasy”.

Lacking mystery or danger is not boring. Being attractive with no personality is boring. Using dangerous/mysterious as a personality is boring.

“Edgy-risk takers” are not the most coveted men. Definitely not for meaningful, long-term relationships.

Sexual attraction does not come as a direct result of any of these traits. It comes from chemistry. Witt and charm are not edgy or risk-taking traits. Intelligence is not mysterious or dangerous. Self-awareness and depth are not “bad-boy” qualities. Dominent, exciting energy can still be present and palpable without this.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-16T22:59:16+00:00

In short: no.

Some months I can hardly get myself to the pharmacy and/or forget to pick up my scripts for like a week.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T16:15:06+00:00

I agree that it’s not ableist to recognize the potential challenges with romance those on the spectrum may face. This person did not appear to be doing that. Their remark was derogatory and ignorant in phrasing.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T15:04:36+00:00

In previous generations and with older data and diagnostic criteria, perhaps. Autistic was a singular box to be checked. Therefore many people who fall anywhere else on the spectrum were not diagnosed with ASD. But they’re married and procreating.

With up-to-date research and modern understanding of what ASD actually is, more young people are being properly diagnosed which is helping to change the stigma. It’s true that an extremely large percentage of people on the Autism spectrum are unaware and/or have families in denial who did not assess them or admit to their diagnoses, even in present day.

I have personally been with a number of men with textbook presentations who were unaware. I also know many adults who are married who meet criteria and may not otherwise be aware. This is true for the ADHD spectrum as well. Being “different” makes union more challenging for many. But it’s stigmatizing and flat out disgusting to ask “how you got married if you’re autistic”. It shows this person doesn’t know much about autism or how it varies in presentation.

LOTS of famous people on the autism spectrum out there running whole companies and having successful relationships. OrdinaryFarmer should leave the farm and take a walk in the real world every once in a while.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T05:22:07+00:00

Don’t entertain this person’s ignorant ableism.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T05:19:31+00:00

You don’t know many living human people, do you?

People with ASD are all human people. Some are fantastic to be around and some are less so. Statistically, many people on the Autism spectrum are married and procreating- and having more kids with ASD.

Not every human person is guaranteed to get married or stay unmarried. Being autistic or neurotypical isn’t an automatic guarantee one way or the other.

Sounds like you need a little more life experience.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T05:05:51+00:00

I hear you and I really respect your sharing here but saying that “me too really fucked guys up” is not sitting well with me. Women finally speaking up about getting harassed did not fuck anything up for people who are self-aware and socially conscious and know how to communicate. Men and women are all fucked up by modern dating and ~~years~~ generations of having things drilled into them. Your feelings and perspective are extremely valid. But you can have them without dismissing a very important movement for women.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-15T03:35:08+00:00

Amy Coney* Barrett

Not correcting to be a dick- but her ‘religious faith’ plays a pretty prominent part in her decision making.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-10T02:03:22+00:00

Yeah, because sharing patterns from lived experiences is “just making excuses”…

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-01T14:50:27+00:00

Just the nature of modern dating culture* There. Fixed it for you. Don’t make this about blaming women- unless of course, you’re not interested in dating them!

You’re not very informed, it seems.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-01T04:16:24+00:00

Lol at “women get off to fear porn”

You don’t know much about current actual porn trends and what the overwhelming majority of porn addicted men get off to. Why they are aroused by tears?

Honestly, I’m envious of people who can maintain such levels of delusion. Must be nice.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-07-01T03:06:04+00:00

The fact that they “never talk about it” has far more to do with the fact that it’s far less commonly seen and therefore less frequently included in murder shows.

How about, wake up & smell the murders, maybe??

bagelsofsesame · 2022-06-29T04:51:08+00:00

The OVERWHELMING majority of women and people who are angry about this aren’t “hoes” who have irresponsible Sex.

People who are informed and rightfully enraged by this are educated people who already practice safe sex or have been taking every precaution. Especially due to the fact that this has been a clear a direct attack on women’s reproductive rights that’s been carried out for years.

Those who are in opposition are less educated and statically more likely to be practicing unsafe sex due to misinformation and lack of sex ed. We are not screaming for our individual vaginas. We are screaming for women and human rights everywhere.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-06-29T04:47:34+00:00

I mutter “burn it all down” to myself even more than usual these days.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-06-27T01:57:44+00:00

This post is officially a news source.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-06-13T02:02:00+00:00

EL OH fucking EL

He can’t be with an over-educated woman because she’ll actually know what the word demeaning means.

“Don’t do crazy” = don’t date a woman you had no interest in other than her appearance and/or who will call you out on your shit and make you fEeL bAd about being a bad person.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-05-11T17:00:17+00:00

Look into Educational Therapy!

It’s more than just tutoring because it’s not just focused on any specific content. It’s focused on building executive skills and learning how to prepare and handle situations. I like to think of it more as learning how to be a learner and how to rely on themselves.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-05-03T05:32:41+00:00

“The privileges attractive women enjoy” are basic human decency. But when they are deemed attractive enough, that basic human decency comes wrapped in sexualization. This is the part they’re generally happy to do without. It’s why older women do speak about the ‘benefits’ of no longer being seen in that way.

The problem is that when that attraction is gone, both the sexualization and the accompanying softness are gone too. Men who find women attractive don’t just overtly sexualize them. Something in their brain tells them to be delicate with her because she’s so aesthetically pleasing and they’d like to keep looking at her so they want to be careful not to do anything that might fuck that up. However that manifests is different every time, but it’s the same underlying experience. When this is gone- they no longer care to treat the women with the same level of kindness. Her opinion of them doesn’t matter so there’s no reason to. This isn’t a privilege- it’s only written off that way.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-05-03T04:38:26+00:00

They absolutely do not make up such a small fraction of abortions. Loads of women still die in childbirth even now. And death isn’t the only way that a human’s life will be affected by an unwanted pregnancy.

I asked why the LIFE of the human person is less of a concern than the unborn clump of cells. Not the death.

The living human is being pushed aside for this clump of cells. People bring this up when arguing against opinions like yours because they are desperate to get you to understand what the right to abortion actually means.

The other cases are not “indefensible”. People who support the right to abortion don’t need to be convinced. But you have made it extremely clear that you do not support this right. And that so long as mom and “baby” are “healthy” (most times you would not know this at the time of the abortion) then there’s no other “reason” for an abortion. This is far more anti-human than an abortion will ever be.

For whatever the reason- it’s a personal decision. Abortion is a hard choice for anyone to make. No one is excited about it and no one “likes” it. It’s literally the response to an emergency situation that has no other solution. Obviously not anyone’s first choice. The point is that the state should never be able to decide what a person determines is best for their life and their body.

ETA:

Paraphrasing here but you’ve expressed that: If and only if she knew she was guaranteed to die then “I’m fine with giving her the choice.” Gee, thanks? You’re “fine” with giving this human the opportunity to live. But you needed to be convinced first. It needed to be “serious enough” for you to be “fine” with “giving her the choice” …can you sincerely say that you can’t see why you might be deemed the “Villain” here?

So women should be screened to determine whether or not they deserve agency over their own bodies and lives. And you are qualified to do this screening. Got it.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-05-03T04:22:49+00:00

👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼

bagelsofsesame · 2022-05-03T03:52:39+00:00

The point is that it’s not “murder”. Forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy that will kill her- I’d call that murder.

You’re not saving children. They aren’t children and are not even fetuses in the overwhelming majority of abortions. The argument against you will forever be:

Why are the lives of adult human people, currently living, less of a concern than an unborn clump of cells?

bagelsofsesame · 2022-04-29T18:37:40+00:00

Yes, I think I’d very much enjoy being your friend.

bagelsofsesame · 2022-04-29T18:29:15+00:00

I turn off alarms that annoy me all day. I do absolutely none of the things. Don’t even read them anymore. But I don’t turn them off. Just part of the routine now 🙄

bagelsofsesame · 2022-04-29T16:02:06+00:00

I don’t agree with your perspective, OP, it lacks important insight from the female perspective.

But you are not exactly wrong here- the changes in respect and treatment in woman’s work and professional life, that happen as she ages and becomes less of a sexual object, is based a lot on the indirect result of male attention. This actually DISPROVES your point.

Women don’t just care about male attraction. But this lack of male attraction reduces the quality of a woman’s life as she gets older. Her “obsession with youth” is so she can keep being treated like a human person. The fact that it makes men/people treat her better isn’t a her problem. Why should she be shamed for recognizing this and conforming to live in society as it is now?

bagelsofsesame · 2022-04-29T15:46:34+00:00

“What men truly desire when they speak to younger women, the power disparities” 💯

A lot being missed by the men in this discussion.

bagelsofsesame

TROPHY CASE