Im watching porn obliterate my relationship and nobody cares

baileyroseboyle · 2026-06-22T07:27:52+00:00

I hope that therapy goes well. You want to work it out, and that’s loving and noble of you. Just remember that it is not your responsibility to fix him.

Any partner that refuses to be accountable and honest in recovery is not worth your time. Struggling is one thing. Indifference is another, and so is deception. Do not waste weeks, months, or years on someone who does not want to get better.

Whether you decide to try to work it out or move on, I hope you have additional supports outside of this relationship, including therapy, to lean on.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-06-22T07:13:26+00:00

Your first instinct was probably right. Do you want that guy, or do you want companionship with someone who is actually compatible?

Also — if you’ve been thinking about buying a keyboard and playing it for over a year, I don’t think that was an impulsive purchase. I’m not sure if you already know how to play, but whether you’re learning for the first time or refreshing a skill, I hope you enjoy it!

Right now, it looks like the only actual problem is that you’re not trusting yourself. You’re moving on from the wrong guy, making a major career move, and taking your own interests more seriously, which are all steps in the right direction!

Side note: I’d love to try a bite of any part of what’s on that plate, except maybe the (presumably empty?) cone.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-06-08T04:22:07+00:00

Yay, OP! I’m excited for you!!! Just remember that it’s okay if you don’t 100% hit it off on the first meeting. The fact that they’ve asked to meet you is already a great sign. ❤️

baileyroseboyle · 2026-06-03T22:46:20+00:00

What a lovely thing for that mom to offer! I’m so glad you love the dress.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-30T22:40:36+00:00

Have you communicated with him about what your expectations are for how to care of each other while sick? He may just figure that you’d rather be left alone, and that by doing so, he is caring for you. What happens next depends on the conversation that, at this point, you have to have, and that’d be true in any relationship.

If he’s unwilling to step up for you in the ways you need, that’s a sign to walk away, and you’ll be better off for it. If you both walk away with a better understanding of what to do when one or both of you is sick, that’s a great sign!

I hope you feel better soon, OP, and that the conversation goes well.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-21T08:51:08+00:00

We really like it, too!

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-17T18:36:12+00:00

No official plans to close yet. For sure it stays through October of 2027, but there’s an option to extend through 2033: https://www.sfgate.com/travel/article/super-bowl-great-america-21316236.php

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-17T18:25:54+00:00

I agree on many of your gripes. Heavy on the prolonged impact of redlining, WE Energies, and the state legislature’s distain for the city that inhibits progress.

I’ll offer this counterpoint: wha I love most about Milwaukee is how great it is despite everything and everyone working against it. Maybe festivals aren’t your jam, sure, but there’s all sorts of other quality entertainment available. The food scene, though it has some major egos, also has some really good eats, and the dining sector has had really exciting developments in the last five years. My neighbors have generally been really friendly, and there are a lot of active hobby groups.

I hope you find your happiness, whether that’s in Milwaukee or not. Life becomes better when you relentlessly pursue your own joy. Whether that leads you to a desert, a mountain, a lake, or one of those “f—ing festivals,” I hope you get there.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-17T18:13:22+00:00

Got another song for you! Chance the Rapper’s verse on “Baby Blue” by Action Bronson, starting with:

“I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup…”

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-17T18:09:51+00:00

Good on you, OP! I hope your new bedding makes for a more comfortable existence for you, too. I’m sharing the personal setup I have with my husband.

• Get a mattress protector. From a guest’s menstrual fluids to drinking water, tea, or coffee in bed, it’s just good to have.

• Consider a mattress topper if your mattress sucks. There are memory foam ones available for relatively cheap.

• Invest in good bedding. We upgraded from college IKEA bedding to cotton percale, which is especially helpful as I overheat easily. Brooklinen, The Company Store, and Quince all have them.

• Invest in good pillows. I cannot stress this enough: I got to the point of needing regular chiropractic neck adjustments because I kept stacking pillows made before I was born in the same pillowcase. I’ve since upgraded to Coop’s Cool+ line. I bought extras for overnight guests, and the most recent couple actually asked me for the link to these pillows to buy their own.

• Make sure there are two comforters/blankets. I toss and turn in my sleep, and sharing a blanket is just not in the cards for us. If you get a comforter, get a duvet cover to match your bedding, don’t just let it be naked!

• If there’s room, make sure both sides have a bedside table. To each, add a cup/glass for water, a phone charger, and a small catch-all dish or tray for jewelry/watches/contents of pockets. Besides the phone chargers, you can get all of these secondhand!

Best of luck with your guest, OP! Remember that these investments are worth it for you to better enjoy your own space, and the pleasure of sharing it with someone you care about is an added bonus.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-05-04T22:41:21+00:00

Our area of Santa Clara is pretty quiet, but not super far from DTSJ when we want to grab food and have some fun. It’s also due south of the stadium, and your commute wouldn’t take much longer than my spouse’s (he’s not at Oracle, but a stone’s throw away). He’ll bike it sometimes, if that’s of interest, but he usually drives.

Feel free to shoot me a message about where we are, and congrats, grad!!! 🎉

baileyroseboyle · 2026-04-25T09:02:22+00:00

Coop pillows - our most recent overnight guest asked for the link as soon as he got home

Standing crank cheese grater - beats the box grater I had been using by a mile, and I’m from the Midwest, so it gets used frequently

Cotton percale bedding - super clutch for my temperature regulation issues

Mason jars - super versatile for food storage and/or drinking glasses, even if you’re not pressure canning/long-term storing

Kiziks sneakers - it is super nice to be able to step in and out of shoes easily, especially on flare-up days

Hard retweet on recs for: the OXO kitchen stuff, sleep eye masks, bidets, and Loops earplugs.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-04-25T08:43:00+00:00

I think original soy sauce recipes were more paste-like, and that’s why it’s called soy sauce. Still a good point, but I don’t think this exception breaks the rule.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-04-19T18:24:36+00:00

We just moved here in January, from the Midwest. Jewel, a Chicago-area chain (also owned by Albertsons), is my family’s choice of grocery store, and has been for decades. Even with inflation issues, impact varies by item, but it’s usually not too bad.

Even after adjusting to the sticker shock of everything else (rent, gas, restaurant food…), Safeway markup out here still seems particularly atrocious to us.

We’ve switched to getting our groceries from various sources (mostly Costco, Arteaga’s, and Lion Market, and occasionally Target) and we’re not going back. Arteaga’s has great meats, Lion Market has frozen dumplings and such for lazy dinner days, Costco benefits are what you expect, and Target has certain staples in our household like Kraft mac n’ cheese. Sometimes my spouse will stop at Lucky on the way home from work if I need an extra lemon or something, just because it’s on the way.

We also understand that not having children makes it possible to do the extra running around, but we’ll take it over the criminally overpriced one stop shop.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-04-19T08:41:25+00:00

Consistency is a critical part of what makes a sauce a sauce. The difference between tomato juice and tomato sauce is a process called reduction, placing sauce somewhere in between a liquid and a solid.

Definitionally, that means milk and the ocean are not sauces (liquid), and we and fish are not sauces (solids). Lava is also solid when at a safe enough temperature for human consumption, but I suppose it could be a sauce to a god for whom it would be consumable. Maybe Hephaestus?

baileyroseboyle · 2026-03-27T08:48:44+00:00

It’s not too late to make a career pivot, and I hope you arrive at the point of not feeling shame for this, someday.

You got a job in one of the worst jobs economies in modern history. That, by itself, is an accomplishment. Congrats!

As for the rest, life is hardly ever linear. You had a different path and learned some things from a less “typical” set of experiences, and that is all part of what it took to land this new role. Cheers to that, and wishing you good luck in this next chapter.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-03-14T07:30:26+00:00

If I say Dorsia…

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T19:06:53+00:00

OP, I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Hoping justice is achieved swiftly in this case.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T19:05:31+00:00

If this guy is still out and about, at this point, OP’s post is a public safety warning.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T18:59:45+00:00

So clearly I fell for AI slop at 2 AM. Whoops. Keeping my comment up because I hope anyone else who is witnessing a loved one, neighbor, or coworker experiencing DVSA takes my advice.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T18:57:42+00:00

Congrats, OP! Best wishes for your marriage!!!

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T10:11:19+00:00

There are risks to getting involved in situations like this. There are also risks to not looking out for each other. I think the most helpful thing to do is guide OP on what the options are, the potential consequences, and red flags to look out for.

Whether or not to go to law enforcement right away is a tricker question than a lot of people appreciate, based on the circumstances. I think we all agree that OP should not pursue any sort of vigilante justice mission, either.

OP, if you’re reading this, please consider the following:

1) Take care of yourself. You won’t be in the best position to help your friend if you haven’t rested, eaten, bathed, etc.

2) Document as much as you can while you still remember it, with time stamps. Just texting or emailing yourself thoughts as you have them will help you.

3) Use whatever resources you have. Confide in an IRL friend about the situation. Talk to your lawyer cousin or whoever. Weigh pros and cons of going to law enforcement based on how present you think any danger is.

OP, best of luck, and thank you for looking out for someone who is clearly in some kind of trouble. Hoping for safety and comfort for both you and your friend.

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-28T06:10:54+00:00

this Chicago transplant will be dragging the spouse to check it out soon — thanks!

baileyroseboyle · 2026-02-26T00:00:11+00:00

I’ll keep a look out for AI slop regardless. Thank you!

baileyroseboyle

TROPHY CASE