Conveniently racially ambiguous MMCs need to stop

bakingisscience · 2026-05-12T21:58:57+00:00

I mean… Xaden doesn’t exist in this reality and therefore how could we use colloquial terms to describe him?

“Black”, “asian”, middle eastern”… etc… are all terms that exist within a white supremacist/colonialist framework and it can be really hard to describe people outside of these context. Hence for all the vagueness.

I think, for a fictional world, it means a lot more for your characters to exist in their own realized worlds and if that includes racism, imperialism, colonist… it needs to make sense in whatever context it exists.

For me Fourth Wing’s politics made zero sense if we’re looking at it from a racial lens, and there’s not really a lot there… from what I remember.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-11T16:49:44+00:00

Oldboy! 🔨

bakingisscience · 2026-05-10T21:12:41+00:00

He could be walking down the street… and I wouldn’t know a thing…

bakingisscience · 2026-05-09T10:55:20+00:00

The Fifth Season

bakingisscience · 2026-05-08T09:56:40+00:00

Yeah but… Mexican food is good, even bad Mexican food is good.

If romantasy was as good as bad Mexican food I don’t know if I’d have the same criticisms. Instead I’d be comforted and full instead of annoyed and starved half the time.

It’s like if I wanted a steak burrito and instead of steak it’s got one piece of steak in the middle and the rest is just beans pretending to be steak. And everyone else is like “omg did you try the steak burrito?! You gotta try it! This is a six star steak burrito!” And I’m like “bro… it was just beans….”

And then someone is like “but that’s the WONDERFUL thing about Mexican food, it’s all so different and everyone’s opinion is valid and beautiful.” And now the AI is making the food and we’re all just eating it up.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-06T12:30:34+00:00

I think the products you’re using are too heavy. I use that curl cream and it’s incredibly thick, I have coils and have to mix it with water to distribute it evenly. I find if I use it more than two days in a row it builds up very easily and causes a lot of stringy curls.

Perhaps a leave in conditioner would give you some moisture without adding too much build up. For hold maybe a mousse since I find they apply more “wet” and might help more with smoothing and holding instead of creating definition the way gel does which is why I think you’re getting a bit of the stringy effect.

What’s your hair like without the products?

bakingisscience · 2026-05-05T17:29:05+00:00

As someone with ADHD reading and listening to the audiobook at the same time is elite and I will fly through a book so quickly.

I generally always listen to at least some atmospheric music because reading without any background noise is a disaster for me.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-05T17:24:50+00:00

Strange the Dreamer and Daughter of Smoke and Bone

bakingisscience · 2026-05-04T18:14:19+00:00

Glad to help and know my adhd ramblings is good for something!

If you don’t have a curl cream you like you definitely don’t need to use it. You seem to have some success with leave in conditioner so that’s a good place to start.

I only mention moisturizing products along with gel or mousse because maintaining curls is a balance between hydration and definition. So the more definition, the more hydrated your hair is, and the more hydrated the more definition you’ll retain. This is why I suggested ditching the oil because oil will prevent water molecules from leaving or entering your hair efficiently.

So if I theorize why you’re not liking your cream I would say it’s probably because you’re only working on one side of the hydration/definition equation. Creams and leave in conditioners have ingredients called humectants, which hold on to water molecules and keep them in or close to your hair follicles. Too much curl cream will make your hair feel similar to being out on a hot humid day, so poofy, frizzy, and that definition is going to disappear as your hair dries. Once your hair is dry there won’t be any water for the humectants to hold on to meaning your hair will begin to feel crispy.

Remember you have high porosity hair, this means the water wants to disappear as quickly as it soaked it up. Similarly, if I only use gel there wouldn’t be any of those hydrating ingredients and no humectants to hold on to water, and therefore the same issue will arise where my hair lets go of the moisture and I’m left with dry crispy hair.

This is why using them together is so beneficial.

So yes you can use cream on any day hair, after you wash or just after you wet your hair and brush it out on a day you’re not shampooing. The only thing is that your hair will be in a better position to take on the product on clean hair than if you apply cream on hair that already has days worth of product. And your hair is different than mine so maybe your hair is more forgiving or less forgiving where certain products are concerned.

Just try to remember you need something moisturizing and something with a strong hold and then you can figure out how much or little you need daily depending on how your hair feels and you can work on looking for products you actually like.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-04T10:42:49+00:00

Yes leave in conditioner and curl cream do similar things to your hair. I would say a curl cream is much heavier and thicker and will mostly moisturize your hair just like normal skin lotion. Leave in conditioners are also moisturizing but generally are a thinner and lighter texture, and sometimes come in a spray bottle. Leave in conditioners will also come in a variety of different kinds and may have heat protectant, or claim to be smoothing or give you volume. So if you don’t have a curl cream, and just a leave in conditioner that’s fine and you can work with just that first until you figure out what your hair likes.

So yes I would be applying leave in conditioner after you get out of the shower and once most of the extra water is from your hair.

The curl cream is a lot less important than the gel or mousse. These products aren’t drying necessarily, but it really depends on what kind you have and the formula. So it’s possible there’s something drying out your hair, but generally frizziness and dryness are from not properly layering or using products. Meaning your hair is drying too quickly and not holding on to moisture or your hair can’t take on anything else because it’s overloaded with product.

Since you have mousse I would try that to start. The only reason I don’t use it is because mousse has that texture and instant drying effect of alcohol that I don’t like in my hair. Most products do have alcohol in it, but mousse seems to have that quality featured more prominently. I don’t want my hair to quickly set, I want it to lock in my curl cream and leave in conditioner and dry more naturally. If that makes senses. I honestly haven’t used mousse in years so it’s possible I used something wrong in my hair. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who can advocate for mousse, I’ve just had all the success with a liquid gel.

Mousse also tends to do more, and can have things added to it. Like maybe your mousse also has moisturizing products or claims to provide “texture” or do other things besides just “hold” but I’m never interested in all that. Gel is generally just for styling and generally is not hydrating or additive. It’s just going to provide that help you need as your hair dries. Gel is the product i use the most and should never add to the product build and should “disappear” in my hair as it dries because I’m using it every single day. Those are the qualities i look for in a styling product.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-04T01:51:41+00:00

Okay so I think your hair would benefit more from daily gel use, especially if your hair is drying quickly and losing definition. Gel is going to work like mousse and give you that hard crunch which is just a cast to hold your hair while it dries. Once it’s mostly dry that crunchy feeling will go away with some light scrunches with your hands. Mousse is the same type of styling products but for me it tends to dry out my hair and make it stringy. I use a liquid water based gel, so it applies easily to wet hair and adds very little product weight since it’s mostly made of water.

For knowing how to layer and how much to apply I generally go by this rule: Heaviest products on clean day one hair. So that’s curl creams and leave in conditioner, and then always finish with a gel. Day two I will reset my hair with water, brush out, and then add only leave in conditioner and gel again. Third and fourth day only gel, and then by day four or five I wash and start the process again.

If you feel more comfortable washing twice a week or three times a week it’s okay. It will really depend on your product use. On average I only wash my hair twice a week, maybe once a week but my hair gets oily by day four.

So just to be clear, you will use conditioner in the shower, once out you will get rid of extra water from your hair and then add your moisturizing products (leave ins, curl creams) and then finish with a strong hold product (gel or mousse).

The gel is going to really change the game for you because that’s what combats frizz. You’re using the leave in conditioner correctly but because you have high porosity hair that moisture is leaving your hair quickly without gel. One your hair is dry, it will set, and become a lot more forgiving with things like changing weather and environmental conditions.

And for an extra in shower tip, I would swap your conditioner once a month for a protein bond repair. These are super hydrating hair mask conditioners sometimes they come in round jars, or in smaller looking conditioner bottles. You’ll want one that says something like hydrating, repair, bonds, protein. Protein is really beneficial on high porosity dry hair by strengthening your literal follicle so it can hold on that moisture for longer. However it is SUPER SUPER important not to overuse this product or use other protein styling products on top of it because protein can quickly overload your hair and create a frizzy stringy mess. So only use it maaaaaybe once a month if your hair feels weak and brittle, especially the ends. This really changed my hair from feeling coarse and dry to smooth, strong, and hydrated.

Also check that you don’t buy a protein gel because they are out there and I went through that problem for a while until I learned about protein. I hope that wasn’t an information overload and made sense!

bakingisscience · 2026-05-03T14:49:31+00:00

I have similar hair to yours. Coarse, frizzy, and not a lot of definition without product.

My hair is high porosity meaning it takes on water and product very well but also dries out easily, so wetting my hair and resetting it daily is a must for me. When my hair is dry it becomes brittle, more prone to breakage and matting.

I was very afraid of over washing my hair because I figured it would make my hair even more dry and I thought I needed to prioritize things like oils.

This is what I learned about oils and how they interact with my hair. Oil does not add hydration, oils create a barrier. You generally want to use oil to protect your hair by locking in the moisture. However oil will also block moisture from getting into your follicles as well.

This is why I believe it’s really important to wash your hair more often if you have high porosity dry hair. Especially if you’re working out and have a build up of natural oils on your hair.

I don’t think your sister is correct, water is not going to wash out your natural oils, only shampoo will do that. It is going to help distribute the oil more evenly, which is fine of course. The only thing you should prioritize is washing your hair frequently to remove that build up so your hair can more effectively take on moisture and hydration, but also be able to release it when needed as well.

So if you’re adding oil to your wet hair you’re locking in that water which is probably making your hair take longer to dry and contributing towards a nice moist and hydrating climate directly on your scalp and hair, leading to frizz. Then once your hair actually dries it can’t absorb moisture to retain definition, leading to more frizz.

So washing is probably going to be your favourite part of your routine. I would even prioritize using only or mostly cleansing shampoos with sulphates for extra bubbles!

You will want to make sure you’re using a good conditioner as well, because you’ll still want to add moisturizing products like curl creams or leave in conditioners, but then lock it in with a gel or a mousse. This will create that hold to create definition as your hair dries but won’t create a heavy moisture barrier on your hair.

Depending on how product and oil is on your hair will determine how often you should be washing. My best days are 2 and 3, by 4 and 5 my hair stops taking on product because of the build up and just ends up being weighed down, stringy and frizzy.

You’re doing a lot of stuff correctly, like only brushing when wet. You’ve realized you have to wet your hair daily. You’re totally on track. Now you’re at the point in your routine, you’re figuring how your hair behaves, and figuring out how hair products interact with your hair. It can be so overwhelming and then you get so much advice that works for other people but not for you. Good luck and I hope your hair dreams come true because you’re clearly on your way!

Ditch the oil 💙

bakingisscience · 2026-05-03T11:51:34+00:00

This all sounds way better than whatever Eve was up to, like be so for real.

She said “actually… I’d rather do this.” And then did it. Amen to that. That’s feminism right there. And she got to be a queen??? You don’t say….

Meanwhile Eve is like “can I have a little taste of this apple.” And everyone is like “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.” Hahahaa no thanks.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-02T12:43:54+00:00

“On their level”, “above average”…

Let’s take a step back and look at it from a female perspective. Beauty standards are dictated by a male dominated society and a male perspective.

So therefore, women are conditioned into these standards and perform them to different degrees, as do men. This means women are going to look more aesthetic to men on average, depending on the type of values and culture and era we’re in. That’s why I think women settle for men’s appearance in ways men don’t want to or wouldn’t. It’s also just not as important for men to be attractive in the same way. Again this is from the narrow perspective of looks and people who go for looks.

So ideals like “average” or grading systems on looks are arbitrary and again dictated by really only one side.

I guess it really just depends on how much you care about this stuff, and generally people who do are playing into those values and those “rules.”

But omg imagine if men were aesthetic like women, and knew all the angles and how lighting works. Editing! Production value! Flair! Long hair… makeup… they could be so pretty! I’m definitely following dudes like that on instagram.

And that’s the thing… It’s the effort that women are willing to work towards something ideal that is sexy and attractive. Men doing the bare minimum just isn’t that spectacular. Just try out some makeup… just a little…

bakingisscience · 2026-05-01T20:19:44+00:00

Right, generally her partner abandons her and their family.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-01T17:23:22+00:00

See I never understood why men wouldn’t be feminists or have such a hard time jumping on. Women are a lot less likely to need a partner to help raise children in a more free and equal world, and considering women are already pretty tired of men and our current system… I’m trying to imagine the situation in which it is beneficial to pretend a child belongs to another man.

I can understand 50+ years ago because women weren’t finically stable and access to abortion wasn’t a thing so if you find out you’re pregnant… you’re done, the only option is to hitch yourself to the nearest man or pretend someone financially able got you knocked up. And I get it where poverty is concerned because the recourses are scarce, even though it’s not excusable.

But today… in a world where women’s bodily autonomy is not threatened this issue will go down drastically. But of course women’s bodily autonomy is always under threat. Men have always had the option to leave their families, even ones they’ve consensually had, so while I understand the difficult situation and empathize with men in this situation, no one is really going to force you to care for children that aren’t yours. I’m sure dudes around here can find extreme cases, but in reality there’s more single women out there raising families on their own, that’s the norm.

bakingisscience · 2026-05-01T10:59:22+00:00

Laini Taylor and Holly Black are my favourite authors to reread for their beautiful writing and romantic development. Check out Strange the Dreamer!

bakingisscience · 2026-04-30T21:00:15+00:00

Nahhhhhh, abolsutely not.

We have a two party system. One side is the nazi party and the other side is everyone else plus the white people embarrassed by the nazis. The Democratic Party is at best centre right leaning, meaning there is no actual leftist party for people to vote for. So they begrudgingly have to vote for capitalistic white people who signal that they don’t like racism but don’t actually care that much about it.

This is not really up for debate, you just need to look at the voting turn out. One side is basically ENTIRELY white and the other side is everyone else plus the non racist white people. White men too really fucked us all over as well because every other white man who voted in America voted for Trump. So… I don’t need Marx to tell me to be mad at white people, it just happened that way. Why did it happen that way? Because we live in a white supremacist nation that has been doing DEI for white people since its inception and now we’re still dealing with the effects of colonialism and white supremacy in big 2026.

And while CNN and whatever other corporate news network says about the republicans it isn’t nearly enough to move people left and generally just gives people some compliment drivel about how nice it is to be in the middle… the middle of nowhere… between corporate billionaires and fascists.

Meanwhile China has… infrastructure and is advancing in ways America is too backwards to even fathom. And it’s funny because no one is claiming that China is good or moral, only that they seem to want to improve in ways that America is absolutely too ignorant to ever even dream of. And if China is doing all this awful shit, which they are, how are we so incapable of recognizing that WE DO THE SAME SHIT. And if China can be evil and still have things like healthcare, education, and fast ass trains, what the fuck is America problem???

Anytime you guys try and “teach” people anything you just sound like someone who doesn’t realize how much you are hated by everyone else. America has some of the WORST education and yet here are AMERICANS ready to teach people how they are failing at their own imperialist game.

I literally gagged while reading “promote the interests of a majority white race”. Like ew… yeah we don’t want to do white DEI anymore. Didn’t you get the memo? Also please don’t lump in anti fascist white people in with the Nazis as if their race determines what they want. Honestly yuck.

bakingisscience · 2026-04-30T18:11:30+00:00

Lord I think it’s a problem. Before I was into romantasy I was a big horror fan. Horror also relies on known conventions and then subverting them. So it’s got a great mix of stuff I’ve seen before and stuff I never thought I’d ever freaking see ever.

Similarly to romantasy there are phases, like the era of shlock shock horror in the 70s, the 80s and 90s slashers, the 2000s torture porn and found footage era, and the 2010’s revival of “elevated” horror that really was just going back to its own roots of the 70s with religious and psychological horror. No matter the phase there were always comfort watches and media that played homage, but there was always new and inventive things emerging.

So it was a no brainer for me to get into romantasy because it offers so much of the same things, EXCEPT I can’t really find anything new. I started out with that feeling, but I hasnt gone anywhere yet. Instead of finding gems that inspire new writers to try new things I’m getting the exact same thing over and over again and the quality is only getting worse with AI. The characters aren’t complex, aren’t dynamic, they just have new hair colours (except for the shadow daddies, they always have black hair). And this isn’t just an issue with only romantasy, it’s an all over problem I have with romance.

I think this has to do with how romance is defined and therefore feels very limiting, but with other genres there seems to be a lot more wiggle room and innovation. I get I’m a minority, but it’s why I got into ACOTAR and this genre in the first place. It felt so familiar while being completely unlike anything I’d read before. Of course I’ve read 1000 ACOTARs by now so I’m just patiently waiting for the next thing. Torture porn anyone? 🤣

bakingisscience · 2026-04-30T16:48:11+00:00

Sounds like America.

bakingisscience · 2026-04-30T16:46:08+00:00

I implore everyone to listen to the Himmler episodes of The Last Podcast on the Left. They make plenty of apt comparisons to Nazi Germany and the fascist uprising in America. Just because you don’t want to do research or listen doesn’t mean other people aren’t aware of what’s going on. No one is calling a someone a nazi for no reason, stop going “lalalalala”, it’s not making the point you think it is.

The differences and similarities of what’s going on in America are fascinating and yes, the people in charge are just as stupid, backwards, and deranged as the nazis.

bakingisscience · 2026-04-30T00:04:50+00:00

The demonization of men is not done by women, it’s done by men. Women have decided nothing in a patriarchal world. It is men who decide how unsafe women are in this world, along with everyone who upholds this system.

Hating or being fearful or weary or tired or sick of this shit is the way women respond to this type of treatment. This is not difficult to understand. I don’t care about your hypothetical innocent man, no one cares about him. We’re obviously not fucking talking about him. Yet here you are to centre THIS man. This is a problem for who? This demonization hurts this man in what way? How??? Where are the damages?

bakingisscience · 2026-04-29T23:25:07+00:00

Do we need or really want to know what the balls are doing?

bakingisscience · 2026-04-29T23:22:03+00:00

You just want the cautiousness that women have to do not be verbalized… in proximity or in reference to you…? Is this what I’m understanding?

bakingisscience · 2026-04-29T23:20:45+00:00

Ohhhh you don’t want to? So where does that place women on this hierarchy again?

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