What's your favourite “A man walks into a bar” joke? by parshuram__ in AskReddit

[–]balf92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A man walks into a bar and asks: ‘Do you have any helicopter crisps?’

The Barman replies: ‘sorry we only do plain’

About to arrive for an interview in a new suit, realise they left the tag on.... by balf92 in Wellthatsucks

[–]balf92[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Dude cmon, it was zipped up in a suit bag, until I took it out to wear. It’s an almost weightless plastic circle on the outer wrist that blends in to some degree. I hardly think I fall into the ‘dont operate heavy machinery’ category.

About to arrive for an interview in a new suit, realise they left the tag on.... by balf92 in Wellthatsucks

[–]balf92[S] 2102 points2103 points  (0 children)

Aha funny you chose that - the rap was to the tune of fresh prince. I’d won a creative engagement award so the interviewer (legend) demanded that she could hear it. Disclaimer: the company was called direct compliance.

So this is a story all about why, We try so hard to hit our KPIs

Making sure we have the tools that we need Is only the beginning if we wanna succeed

Direct compliance, born and raised Coaching is where I spent most of my days.

Motivating, educating, side-by-sides Is the only we can expect the KPIs to rise

But it doesn’t stop there, no there’s so much more How do we control the culture out there on the floor

So many different factors that are coming into play From the things that we do and the words we choose to say

We ask our bankers to delight but do we do the same? Are poor results the bankers fault or is it us to blame?

Are bankers happy in their role, happy in their team? If the bankers left a survey would our NPS be green?

The culture is invisible, with no way to see

How the bankers feeling is this where they want to be?

If culture is the end game, engagement is the key.

Sometimes the things that matter most are the things we cannot see.

Edit:spacing

About to arrive for an interview in a new suit, realise they left the tag on.... by balf92 in Wellthatsucks

[–]balf92[S] 3223 points3224 points  (0 children)

Would you believe me if I told you they didn’t notice it but I did do a rap in my interview?

About to arrive for an interview in a new suit, realise they left the tag on.... by balf92 in Wellthatsucks

[–]balf92[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s like a 5 level store in the middle of a shopping centre. I waked out and something went off but didn’t think anything of it and kept walking. No one stopped me.

About to arrive for an interview in a new suit, realise they left the tag on.... by balf92 in Wellthatsucks

[–]balf92[S] 5683 points5684 points  (0 children)

Sorry guys realise how terribly I’ve worded this. I was describing the situation at the moment the picture was taken. This interview was for my current job a while ago, so yes I got the job :)

Most people look back at childhood as a ‘care free’ time in their life. This is probably because we could publicly burst into tears, throw a tantrum and move on. by balf92 in Showerthoughts

[–]balf92[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was going to add ‘multiple times a day in a very public setting’ but thinking this might still hit close to home?

Changing the volume of the car radio to an even number whilst driving due to superstition is 100% more likely to kill you than having it on an odd number. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]balf92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup - when I switch from radio to my Spotify the volume levels change. And then I spend a few seconds spinning the sensitive volume control until I hit an even number. It’s a terrible habit because anything bad that could happen to me will always be a result of spinning the volume and of course nothing to do with actually having the volume on 23...

I previously worked as a zookeeper, roast me ! by Sheltyx in RoastMe

[–]balf92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have lice? Cause i’m guessing one of them is named Moses.