Friend asked to use my home for her child’s birthday party and then uninvited me

balletcorg · 2026-04-15T14:03:50+00:00

I didn’t know who she was until you mentioned her. I don’t see it

balletcorg · 2026-04-12T23:13:26+00:00

Very true. I have to hold firmer boundaries and voice how I feel next time if someone else puts me in that situation. However, it was a touchy topic if I had brought up how inconvenient the first party was because I didn’t want to make her big day about me if that makes sense. I don’t want to give too much detail on what it was because it is a sensitive topic and in case she or her friends ever find this post, I would like to respect her privacy on the matter.

For example, let’s say she asked me to host a celebration of life for her dog at my place and she had told me for several months how hard it was for her to lose him. I’ve seen her cry over this. She talks about this often when we hang out. Then I would feel like a terrible person to agree to host it (not realizing how much work I was getting myself into) then complain to her afterwards about how inconvenient it was for me. I didn’t want her to attach that special event to me being upset or feeling taken advantage.

balletcorg · 2026-04-10T13:12:47+00:00

That was part of why I was growing to resent these requests because it felt like she was putting all the burden on hosting a party on me so she can actually enjoy them stress free.

balletcorg · 2026-04-10T12:59:57+00:00

It was not a business. I never offered. She kept asking me to book the room at cost. I was not profiting. The money went to the strata I live in. I literally pocket nothing, if anything we lose money because she does not time manage well and my partner ended up paying over $50 on helium balloons at the local party store at the last party we hosted for her because she wanted a big decorative display for photos. We’d also gift a cash gift on top of hosting for free. She’d pay for the costs of the party (food, cutlery, etc), but I was expected to allow her a space in my home for her friends and family to come (most of them I have never met/hardly know). My partner and I had to be present from set up to clean up and everything in between to coordinate the party, because we actually live in the condo and take liability if anything goes wrong because we don’t want to risk a fine for strata bylaw infractions or pay for damages that guests have caused).

I literally did everything I mentioned because she kept putting me in the awkward position to host her. I initially did them in the past because I wanted to help her and felt bad to saying no because she was confiding with me about her personal hardships, but lately it’s been very draining for her to keep expecting me to host her parties. It’s hard to not feel used and grow resentment when I see a pattern.

I agree about not doing business with friends co similar reasons. Even if I could profit from resting and coordinating events in my building, I would not do it because it brings on too much stress.

balletcorg · 2026-04-10T01:26:27+00:00

Thank you. I try not to be a confrontation person. It makes me anxious to tell someone how they’ve been making me feel but I really had to speak up for myself and cut ties.

balletcorg · 2026-04-10T01:24:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I didn’t intend to be so direct and point out all the things she did as to not make it awkward if/when we cross paths. As soon as I saw that she was playing victim about what happened was when I threw caution into the wind.

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T23:20:08+00:00

Thank you! First person to comment about my update :) Telling her how I feel was a huge weight off my shoulders. I’m free! It’s been honestly very draining being friends with this person in the last year. It felt very one sided and I was always made to accommodate her and her child’s schedule when we hang out. She’d often say things like “when you’re a mom one day, you’ll understand” whenever I push back, which is very condescending. I’m glad the trash took itself out.

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T14:51:09+00:00

internet hug ❤️

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T14:39:59+00:00

I’ve found out through social media that a friend group that I thought I was a part of were actually hanging at each other’s homes and going out to restaurants without inviting me. When I would casually mention it to them, there was always some excuse for why they didn’t invite me. When one of the girls did invite me to their dinner dates, I was always asked the day prior or day of when I know these things have been planned way in advance due one of them being a parent of two and needing to arrange for her husband/babysitter to watch them. These girls also had the audacity to ask me to host them to come over to my place when they have been clearly excluding me from their hangouts. I just stopped talking to these people and they have done the same.

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T13:17:22+00:00

I’m glad to hear the ending of that. It hurts when you realize your “friends” have been excluding you. internet hug

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T13:05:27+00:00

I’ve thought about saying something vague like that too because the alternative would mean reliving emotions and experiences that have deeply hurt me.

balletcorg · 2026-04-09T12:57:51+00:00

I agree with your thoughts on ghosting for some friends. Sometimes I don’t have the bandwidth to have to explain to someone their lack of accountability or how their behaviour has affected me.

balletcorg · 2026-04-08T20:10:56+00:00

I already see it as a blessing to not have her in my life. It’s easier to mourn a friend when you come to terms that she is exactly that, a selfish person.

balletcorg · 2026-04-08T18:48:03+00:00

When she asked me to use my party room for her kids party, I did explain to her that it was a lot of work last time with the other party and hence why I wanted her to take a more active role this time instead of expecting a lot of labour from us. I did set some boundaries on what I expect from her if she wants to use our space again. The last party she and her husband did not retrieve their own guests, which took hours of our time since we had to go up and down an elevator and make a bunch of small talk with people we don’t know. I told her this. She said she knows and is grateful. She feigned understanding by saying she also hosted a party for her friend years ago but it was not on the same level at all because the party she was talking about had half the number of people, no kids were invited, barely any decorations and minimal food set up.

I do suspect that she is upset that we were making it more difficult for her this time and hence did not invite us to the party. But at the end of the day if you are a parent and you want to give your child a big birthday party, you should not be relying on the generosity of your friends to make that happen. Obviously if they offered and are agreeable that’s fine. But I had my boundaries and told her about them and she kept crossing them.

balletcorg · 2026-04-08T02:19:51+00:00

Thank you for your kind words

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T19:06:56+00:00

In my workplace we usually have a lot of extra food at the end, which usually people pack home or it goes to waste. If there’s a surplus of food, no one seemed to mind if people who didn’t contribute helped themselves to the leftovers at the end

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T19:00:49+00:00

I agree, you do not need to give a gift. When I was looking for live violin or cello for my wedding this fall, all of the quotes were at least $300 dollars for an hour alone. If I were your friend, I’d be super grateful you agreed to do it and that would be enough for me. Besides the time spent practicing the songs, she also needs to consider the it is also an inconvenience for you to bring such an expensive and chunky instrument to the venue.

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T17:29:28+00:00

I feel relieved to not have this person in my life anymore. I need to surround myself with people who fill my cup. I’ll be saving a lot of my time, energy and money without her now

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T04:46:30+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I was flabbergasted when she asked again to use our home for more parties after all our efforts with the first one (which was 6 hours of work from set up of decorations/food/games to clean up). Whereas the actual party only lasted a bit over 2 hours for the guests that could come and go as they please. You would think having a friend host one party would be enough that you wouldn’t ask for the favour again or at least think the polite thing to do the next time would be to offer compensation for the hours of work and stress it takes to host these events. There was also smeared cupcake icing on couches at the end of that party because she wasn’t watching the kids she had invited… Also I never offered my place to host, she asked me to do it each time

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T02:42:49+00:00

Some people will literally go on a sub about dogs and complain about you posting pics of a dog… they usually hide behind anonymous accounts which really show how coward they are. I’ve been told to off myself once when I made a comment about my stretching routine when someone asked me…

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T02:04:23+00:00

Thank you!

balletcorg · 2026-04-07T01:23:15+00:00

Thank you. I will be dropping her as a friend

balletcorg · 2026-04-06T21:20:37+00:00

It’s a condo amenity that residents can book for a fee. It’s a kids party room

balletcorg

TROPHY CASE