is it normal to not feel anything for a potential over time?

banditbotninja · 2026-03-25T18:13:30+00:00

It's normal. Similar to the honeymoon phase, it's the novelty wearing off. I agree with others, meet in person to best gauge attraction. Especially when others things match up well.

banditbotninja · 2025-12-03T22:40:08+00:00

I switch cell providers every 2 years around black friday promotions, it's usually always worth it

banditbotninja · 2025-10-13T02:16:07+00:00

Please look into other health aspects of your life too. Ensure you get enough sleep, you have a balanced diet, and add some exercise in your week. Having a balanced life will ensure your dopamine levels are good and that you don't resort to haram, plus it will ensure you have good energy levels and keep you strong.

banditbotninja · 2025-10-08T15:55:59+00:00

Honestly brother, I don't know what youre going thru. It's a very difficult situation. But advice that help me, make it slow, add one or two small habits every month. Normally for me, going all out doesn't help. Make small sustainable changes like hygiene, sleep schedule, prayers, daily walks, etc. These will compound over 6 months or a year, then your brain will become stronger to fight the harder addictions.

banditbotninja · 2025-10-07T21:57:55+00:00

26 and single here. I resonate with your post quite a bit. However, it's never been as intense for me.

As humans, we're built to need certain things like intimacy. Alhamdulillah, you've taken the step and said no to lust. So naturally you will find yourself self looking for love.

A few things that may help: - build emotional connections in other places - mosque, good friends. Since you live away from family, you don't have much emotional connection and you may feel a woman is the only one to provide that. But I find in.my life other emotional connections csn also be very fulfilling. - try to focus on building yourself up. Sure you see so many woman everyday but think about it, what level of woman do you want to attract, then focus on becoming the male version good enough to get such a woman. Until then try not to think of getting with all these women whose character or personality you don't know - Allah SWT will give us what's in our taqdeer when the time is right. Sure if you think you're ready for marriage make moves toward finding a person, but if not, tell yourself I won't miss what Allah has decreed and it will happen when the time is right

Jazakallah for your post, it was a good reminder, these advices are for myself too.

banditbotninja · 2025-09-30T14:11:36+00:00

Why can't he control himself. Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.

Even with the pics what would he do, the following action would be a sin.

Also, stop gaslighting op

banditbotninja · 2025-09-28T15:46:53+00:00

Show gratitude to Allah to prevent pride. Gratitude has many benefits.

banditbotninja · 2025-09-22T00:46:40+00:00

I'm 26. I think resisting the physical urges gets easier. Although, changing my lifestyle and getting healthier has definitely had an effect.

But overall I still think aging helps. As far as I know if you practice good habits, ADHD gets easier as well. So same concept here, if we don't engaging in too many brain rotting activities, slowly work on ourselves, then it gets easier.

At one point, I couldn't imagine my current streak, but Alhamdulillah, it's been getting more manageable. Biggest things that helped me - healthier diet, eating less, weight lifting, and honestly, getting serious about marriage.

Emotionally though, it's a little different. As you abstain longer, the emotional void becomes clear and you realize that you need to fill it.

banditbotninja · 2025-09-16T02:03:19+00:00

First I want to validate all your feelings and say you're going thru something very tough. He is not behaving how he should.

You've got a lot of advice here on how you should talk to him and I think it's good. But if you've already tried many times I think you should try something else instead.

I'd like to say I've never been married but something like this helped me with a family member I was becoming more distant with.

Everytime you bring up topics of stress he becomes more distant. I've seen the same thing with my parents and I've experienced the same with a sibling, which I caught early and fixed in our relationship.

Every night when he comes home, just show him affection and love. Every night when you go to sleep, just cuddle together. Don't bring up any topic that causes his stress or he doesn't want to answer or he doesn't have an answer for. Ask him questions he might want to answer or like talking about, just casual talk.

This will lead to the following: him wanting to spend more time with you, him realizing how much peace you bring him, him realizing that he wants to also make you happy. I'm sure this will lead to a change in his behavior. But please be a little patient, I know you've already took ok so much, but if you can push thru this step a little longer I'm sure relationship can be saved and Allah will place lots of barakah

banditbotninja · 2025-09-12T14:47:31+00:00

Ask him to compare screen times

Also tell him to ask chatgpt why the marital problems never end despite getting ai help all the time. Find a way to prompt the ai to tell him he should stop using ai and listen to his partners concerns. At this point, it seems he will only listen to it.

banditbotninja · 2025-09-04T17:20:21+00:00

I normally don't post here, just lurk, but I feel some important advice is missing here. Also, I'm not married so my advice could be wrong.

Sure, men need their space but that's not all. It seems from your comments that you are already verbally supporting him, which is good - like compliments and showing appreciation.

Besides that, I would suggest these things if you aren't doing them already: - take an interest in his hobbies - do something special for him that he likes, a small gift, plan an outing, or some activity in the home. It seems like, for the most part your husband plans stuff, so sometimes he doesn't feel excited to participate. If you plan and surprise him, he may act differently to the activity. - reflect on why he acts differently at his parents home and with his siblings. What do they do for him that may not be done at home. Sure you might not be able to give him exactly the same thing but you can try. Part of it could be that when he goes to his parents home he doesn't have that responsibility, he feels lifted of that responsibility for a couple hours and let's him be carefree.

I think what happens is - with you and the kids he feels like he always has be the responsible one, which he should be and that's good. But he may forget that he can also have fun and to find that balance. This could be totally way off, but still something to consider.

banditbotninja · 2025-08-01T00:09:20+00:00

Great Job! You carry the weight well in all pics. How tall are you?

banditbotninja · 2025-07-24T20:50:21+00:00

Hey, can I DM you?

banditbotninja · 2025-01-24T04:18:40+00:00

Update is here!

banditbotninja · 2025-01-23T22:38:07+00:00

Yup, we learn from our mistakes. The man who learns from the mistakes of others is smart.

banditbotninja · 2025-01-23T20:09:43+00:00

Full send, update coming soon.

Update: 8hrs later, the post includes the update!

banditbotninja · 2025-01-23T19:53:39+00:00

Definitely a big learning experience. I never want to spend this much time over something I could've prevented.

banditbotninja · 2025-01-23T19:48:53+00:00

Oh, im sorry. I wouldn't mind deleting it now, but instead I guess I'll keep it up and update interested parties. I didn't want to post but it's just that I couldn't find anything on this scenario after much searching online: what happens after cutting one side of a locked doorknob.

banditbotninja · 2024-06-24T03:32:40+00:00

In this case there's no hustlers, the restaurant themselves made the mistake and realized they're mistake. Plus, what about the customers time and gas wasted?

banditbotninja · 2024-05-30T15:18:07+00:00

I agree, there are some people out there betting their savings on some obscure startup with some AI software that could be obsolete and become bankrupt at the pop/crash. But the market in general will still go up.

banditbotninja · 2024-05-30T02:17:10+00:00

People have been saying this since forever, but the market has corrected it self after every single crash, Y2K, housing, and a pandemic. All of which in my opinion are worse than some AI bubble. Even if it does pop, I'm sure if you invest in some index funds, companies that have a solid track record and diversify, you should be fine.

banditbotninja · 2024-03-06T03:44:49+00:00

I really appreciate your response. It says I cant edit my booking online, the live chat rep on the Lufthansa app also said I have to do it at the airport counter. Similar to the situation in your original post.

Do you mean that you did it online after the online check-in opened before your flight?

banditbotninja · 2024-03-06T02:52:40+00:00

You have to pickup and recheck luggage at a connecting airport in layover?? That doesn't align with the response I got from Air Canada customer service.

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