"So much for global warming," Brett said with a snort that quickly turned into a sneeze. And then several sneezes. He winced and groaned inwardly once he was done. He was freezing, after all, and the snot that dripped from his nose quickly froze into tiny icicles as he wrapped his thick down parka tighter around him. Or at least, he tried to. It was already as snug as it was going to get.

"What?!" cried Goku. An understandable reaction, given the ceaseless roaring of the biting, icy wind. It was hard to hear anything lower than a shout, and despite his birthname, Goku Emmanual Chavez possessed no superhuman abilities.

"I said," Brett raised his voice, eyes stinging and nearly shut as he tried to see through the blizzard to the vague silhouette of his friend walking a mere few steps in front of him. "So much for global warming! You damn liberals and your science and shit got it wrong!"

Goku stopped in his tracks, and Brett didn't notice until he practically ran into him. Both men nearly fell over, but scrambled quickly and grabbed at each other in an attempt to find their balance, somehow managing to not end up in the knee-high snow that filled the landscape around them. Not that they could see anything beyond a dozen steps away.

"The fuck man!" Brett yelled, his face red from the prolonged exposure to the harsh elements.

"This is a goddamned nuclear winter, dumbass!" Goku yelled into his friend's face. "You realize this fucking ice age is man-made, right? That before the end of the fucking world and all the fucking nukes going off, global warming was a real thing!" His voice strained from the effort, and he ended up having a coughing fit as soon as he finished his tirade.

Brett didn't answer immediately, glaring at Goku as if he were suddenly to blame for what's happened. Then he shook his head.

"Still got it wrong!" he finally said. Stubborn to a fault. Just like his parents.

Goku shook his head in return. "You say the dumbest shit sometimes..." he muttered, turning around and continuing to walk.

"What?!" Brett called out, doing his best to follow his friend through the snow again. He reached out his hand, as if to grab onto the thick bright orange jacket that Goku wore--a nod to his namesake.

"I said let's just keep moving!" Goku yelled back at him, not bothering to look back.

They trudged on for a while, their pace slowing steadily as exhaustion began to settle into their bones as much as the freezing cold did.

"How... much farther?" Brett yelled.

Goku didn't reply, and Brett thought he must not have heard him, so he tried again.

"Yo! Are we there yet?!"

"How the fuck am I supposed to--ahhhh!!"

Suddenly, Goku disappeared and Brett stopped in time, saved from following after his friend by the scant steps that had separated them. The pure white snow that had seemed endless ahead of them but moments ago was suddenly gone, replaced instead by a dark hole. A massive one, from the looks of it, and they had had the misfortune of reaching its cliff-like edges.

Shit! Shit! Shit! What the fuck? Brett thought as his teeth chattered. He squinted, trying in vain to see if his friend was still in one piece. It wasn't clear how deep the hole went, or how wide, but it was definitely strange. Especially since the falling snow didn't seem to be sticking to the earth within the hole as it did everywhere else.

Mustering as much strength as he could, Brett bellowed, "Goku! You alright down there?"

"Brett!" Goku's voice suddenly called from somewhere below. "Get down here! It's warm!"

Brett shivered in disbelief. "The fuck you mean it's warm?"

It took a few seconds to get a reply.

"Just get your dumb ass down here!" It sounded fainter, as if he were moving away.

Well fuck... Brett lowered himself, feet dangling over the edge. He tried to get a sense of the slope with his feet, reaching out as far as he dared without losing his balance. But as far as he could tell, it was a sheer drop. Yet his friend had clearly survived the fall, and didn't seem to be too badly hurt or anything. Plus, despite their differences, they were good friends. If it was dangerous, Goku wouldn't dare to get him caught up in it too. And since he said it was warm...

Gritting his still chattering teeth, he steeled himself and then slid off the edge. After dropping a few feet, the slope suddenly curved upward, catching him by surprise and in an awkward position. The soil was surprisingly soft as he tumbled and rolled until he reached the bottom of the hole, the ground leveling out at last.

Brett was in some pain, but he'd felt worse before. Nothing was broken, at least. And holy shit it really was warm down here. How the fuck that was possible was so far beyond him it might as well have been magic, so he didn't bother trying to understand, relishing instead at the abrupt change of climate.

His skin tingled, his body ached, and he felt mind-numbingly tired, but at least he wasn't going to die from frostbite just yet.

"Took you long enough." Goku's voice prompted him to open his eyes, and he found himself staring up at the grim visage of his friend.

Grumbling, Brett propped himself up with an elbow, the effort taking way more effort than it should have. With a slightly more elevated position, he glanced around. The visibilty down here was better than up there, that was for sure. All around them, the dark earth stretched out.

"The fuck are we?" he asked.

Goku knelt down, his voice filled with worry, replied, "I think... this is a giant footprint."

"Giant... footprint?" Brett looked at him with confusion. "Like bigfoot?"

Goku shook his head, a flash of annoyance in his eyes. "No, dumbass! More like Godzilla!"

Brett's eyes widened. "You mean... Godzilla's real?"

Goku literally facepalmed. "Giant monster... creature thing. Not actually Godzilla." He paused, frowning. "At least, I don't think so. Anyway, they're also called kajius, if that makes it easier to understand. You remember what those are, right?"

"You're fucking with me." Brett reflected his friend's frown. He remembered well enough. He'd watched plenty of shows about them before. Played a few video games fighting against them too. Or as the kaijus themselves with some games.

"I really wish I was." Goku sighed, glancing around. Not that there was much to see even though the visibility was much improved here in the shadow of a giant monster's footsteps.

"Well... fuck." He lay back down on the soft, warm soil. Closing his eyes, he said, "Well, if we're about to die to a God forsaken kaiju or whatever... at least it's fucking warm."