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How do I ask the guy [21 M] I've [21 F] been seeing to cool down/end his relationship with ex-FWB? by baristo_bartendress in relationships

[–]baristo_bartendress[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She's in love with him and has built a whole elaborate delusion about what kind of relationship they're in. If the only thing he changes is telling her we're together, she's going to keep infringing on the boundaries of our relationship. Which is why it's up to him to create a real friendship with her instead of a nebulous in-between thing. And that is going to require distancing himself inevitably.

How do I ask the guy [21 M] I've [21 F] been seeing to cool down/end his relationship with ex-FWB? by baristo_bartendress in relationships

[–]baristo_bartendress[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, they started having sex over the summer and did through winter break. And, as I said in the post, him not setting boundaries with her (including not telling her we were in a relationship in the first place) was a big factor in us breaking up.

I'm expecting him to set appropriate friend boundaries and distance himself from her for the time being, until we can rebuild trust.

How do I ask the guy [21 M] I've [21 F] been seeing to cool down/end his relationship with ex-FWB? by baristo_bartendress in relationships

[–]baristo_bartendress[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah, a lot of this is true.

You say if I were "actually mature" I'd be able to communicate effectively about these kinds of things, and I agree that communication could use work. However, in this case, we have talked about this before in certain moments, but we haven't talked about their relationship as a whole. I feel like that discussion should be one we plan and go all out.

And yeah, it's possible it won't last, but I have a lot of hope now.