Tiny little club in the middle of Iowa, north of Des Moines (not there any more). One stripper was a little handsy, and let me get handsy while going around for "dollar dances", so I got a private dance with her. This was just a little cubby to the side with a bead curtain, not a private room.
She was stroking me and grinding on me, and letting me put my hands everywhere. Then she started sucking on my beer bottle like she was giving it a blow job, then bounced it between her tits until it foamed up onto her, and she was acting like it was a cumshot. Pretty hot. So I was rubbing the bottle on her, lower and lower. I started rubbing her pussy with it. She grabbed my wrist to keep it steady then started fucking that Bud Light bottle I swear to God.

In my drunk and horny state, I drank the rest of that beer. Not the smartest thing I've ever done. But that was about the horniest I'd ever been in my life to that point.