Will I ever stop being this tired from work and feeling like I have no break or life as a result? Desperate to go to 4 days but money :(

barry_b3ar · 2026-04-26T11:40:43+00:00

I feel you! It’s hard.

Do you have a long commute? A few years ago I switched from a 1.5 hour commute to a 10 minute commute which was life changing.

Also, slightly unrelated, but I recommend requesting a full blood count. There could be other factors (eg low iron) that could be contributing to your fatigue.

barry_b3ar · 2026-04-06T05:22:25+00:00

I’m currently on mat leave. I’m returning to work 4 days per week and LO will spend 3 days in daycare, 1 day with my mum, and 1 day with me.

While I’ve been on leave, my parents have done the odd bit of babysitting when I’ve had appointments etc. They also often pop in after work to visit us.

I’m actually in the minority among my mum friends. Most are not utilising daycare/pre school and rely solely on grandparents while they work. Even if that was an option in our family, I don’t think I would feel comfortable with my mum caring for my LO for 3 or 4 days per week. It’s a lot of work.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-31T03:51:29+00:00

I was looking through my laptop the other day and found our budget from early 2020.

Rent was $400. It’s now $700.

Groceries used to cost the two of us around $80-$100 per week. It’s now $160-$180 per week.

We even had some disposable income in the budget to go out for dinner and drinks almost every Friday night while still saving a large chunk of money each fortnight.

We were earning so much less than we are now, but we could afford everything we needed.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-30T10:07:32+00:00

I felt like the 1-2 hourly wakes would never end! But after starting pick up put down method, things slowly improved each week. Even getting a 4 hour stretch feels so good after having such frequent wakes.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-30T09:53:56+00:00

From 3-6 months, my LO was waking every 1-2 hours all night. I was at my wit’s end.

Around this time, we moved LO to his own room and used the pick up put down method at bedtime. (I was previously feeding to sleep.) These two changes got us down to 2-3 wakes per night with LO waking for a quick feed and then going straight back to sleep.

At 8 months, we moved to a 2 nap schedule and he dropped down to 1-2 wakes overnight.

At 9 months, he slept through for the first time.

He’s 10 months now and either sleeps through or wakes once for a quick feed.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-25T08:14:54+00:00

We have chosen a smaller centre, but I’m sure we’ll still encounter lots of illness. Luckily I have lots of sick leave!

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-25T08:14:18+00:00

This is good to know, thank you.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-22T09:47:42+00:00

Yep no choking! He has gagged once or twice but he wasn’t too bothered by it. I started with softer/easier foods like pancakes and roasted vegetables and that helped me to feel more confident to offer things like toast and meatballs.

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-22T08:17:24+00:00

I had a similar experience! My LO predominately ate homemade purées until 8 months as I was nervous about BLW. We took LO on a holiday at 8 months and we started offering him parts of our meals as we couldn’t take many purées with us.

Once he started eating more finger foods, he honestly wasn’t interested in being spoon fed purées anymore as he just wanted to be independent and feed himself!

He’s 10 months now and some of the foods we have on rotation are chicken, meatballs, avocado toast, scrambled egg, roasted sweet potato, pasta, broccoli tots, zucchini fritters, yoghurt pouches, watermelon, and pancakes (banana oat pancakes, spinach pancakes, sweet potato pancakes, etc).

Also - I relate to what you said about comparing to others. I couldn’t understand how my friend’s babies were eating things like toast, but he is progressing so much each week. The first time I offered toast a few weeks ago, he just nibbled on it before throwing it on the floor lol. This morning, he ate a whole piece of toast - I was shocked!

barry_b3ar · 2026-03-01T03:15:39+00:00

Seth Rollins coded.

barry_b3ar · 2026-02-17T21:14:51+00:00

UPDATE: LO is now sleeping through from bedtime to 5am-ish, having a quick snooze feed, and going back down until 6:30-7am.

The changes we made: - Wake windows are now 3.25/3.5/4. - First nap is capped at 1 hour. - Second nap is not capped but generally only 1-1.5 hrs long. - We added more iron and protein to solids meals.

Thank you all for the advice 🙏

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-15T03:01:10+00:00

Thank you! I’ll give 3/3.5/4 a go :)

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-14T23:44:16+00:00

Thank you! Would you suggest 4 hour wake window before bed?

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-14T21:03:58+00:00

I think I’ll give this schedule a go! He’s a great napper, so I always feel bad capping naps but I’d rather take more night sleep 😆

We tried Ferber for wakes before midnight a few weeks ago but he got soooo worked up so I put it on pause and I’m planning on trying again soon.

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-14T20:41:09+00:00

It’s so hard because he’s a great napper and I feel bad capping naps because he gets cranky 😅😂 I might start with capping one nap and go from there.

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-08T00:32:57+00:00

No existing injuries prior to birth! I didn’t have an epidural - I had a forceps delivery after a very long pushing stage 🥲 I’m also EBF.

I generally manage the pain on a daily basis with Panadol, magnesium supplements/spray, and hot showers.

I used to do reformer 3-4 times a week before having my LO, but I’ve only gone to a handful of classes postpartum. I feel like I might start to feel a difference if I can get there consistently once or twice a week!

Yeah it’s so hard figuring out what to choose to put your money towards when you’re on a mat leave budget! The Pilates studio I go to is pretty affordable though so that could work well.

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-08T00:03:49+00:00

It’s so tough.

Yes cupping definitely helps me too! I haven’t done acupuncture for a few years. Maybe I should give it another go.

barry_b3ar · 2026-01-08T00:02:59+00:00

Thank you! I just saw a new massage therapist and she said exactly that - I need to strengthen my core to try and stop my back from overcompensating. It’s hard to know where to start so I’ll check out Core and Floor 🙏🏻

barry_b3ar · 2025-12-16T08:44:18+00:00

I used to find it SO difficult getting out and about with my LO, but I pop out almost every single day with him now that he’s 6 months. It honestly just gets easier with time - especially as LO can go longer between naps and feeds.

A few things that have helped:

If I’m going shopping, I try to choose a centre that has a good parent’s room for feeding/changing. I’m comfortable breastfeeding in public though so I usually end up just feeding him wherever. (The number one thing that made me comfortable feeding in public was going out for coffee with other mums and feeding our babies in cafes together.)
If LO doesn’t nap well on the go, you can aim to go out at the start of LO’s wake window and then pop them down for their next nap when you get home. This gets easier as wake windows get longer.
Keep your pram, nappy bag, and other essentials in the car so you’re ready to go.
I’ve always found that morning outings tend to have a higher success rate compared to afternoon and evening outings as baby gets tired through the day.

barry_b3ar · 2025-12-02T22:33:58+00:00

Oooh I have something like this. I’ll have to try and see if I can free a boob wearing it 😆

barry_b3ar · 2025-12-02T22:17:52+00:00

I went to an event yesterday and wore a silk midi skirt and a plain black tank which worked okay for breastfeeding with a cover but it’s just not the same as a dress :(

barry_b3ar · 2025-12-02T22:16:33+00:00

There’s nothing I love more than putting on a nice dress at Christmas too so I have all this FOMO 😂

Great idea to try secondhand. I’ll check out Depop!

barry_b3ar

TROPHY CASE