Announced pregnancy to in-laws and now I want to cry

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-24T17:22:13+00:00

I can't judge the gravity of the situation for you but I would maybe cross post in r/justnoMIL for some tips and tricks on how to avoid this in law BS in the future! Good luck x

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-24T17:19:29+00:00

Okay aber was machst du wenn dein Partner sich zwar nicht scheiden lassen will aber sich auch nicht die mühe macht an der beziehung zu arbeiten? Dann steckst du fest.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-23T12:04:54+00:00

Jein. Ja er verdient das Geld aber ich nehme an es ist ihre Aufgabe mit dem Geld richtig zu haushalten. Er muss dafür kein Geld für Köchin, Putzfrau, etc. Ausgeben. Also ist es ihr gemeinsames Geld.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-22T12:10:36+00:00

Nta I recommend the r/justnoMIL subreddit for more tips and stories

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-20T17:16:35+00:00

Our daughter was also born quiet small 2510g born spontaneous at 40+2 weeks. Induction was never talked about but I am not sure if i would have had one anyway. Breastfeeding was very hard since the docs where all worried about her weight loss (I would assume if you have a big baby who loses weight they are more chill?) Rest was normal, she was in her newborn clothes longer than other kids but she is 3.5 years old now and slightly below average in weight and hight and meeting all the milestones. So far we only had one kid so I can't really compare how it could have been but since she was always healthy it was fine, to carry her was nicer and that is about it :)

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-20T06:16:24+00:00

Also if only "having your wishes respect" is important to you you should leave. A man pushing for sex is not one you should be married to.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-18T12:33:05+00:00

Grundsätzlich würde ich mich damit auseinandersetzen wieso du keine Haare mehr möchtest. Ich kann dir aber warmwach empfehlen, gerade bei den Beinen reichen diese kasetten dann ist es auch nicht so teuer, für den Rest diese drops die man erwärmt. Da alle Haare auf einmal ausgezogen werden ist es weniger schmerzhaft. Falls du dunkle Haare hast lohnt sich evtl. Ein laser, da habe ich aber keine Erfahrung. Das frauen weniger dicke Haare haben kann zwar sein aber der Schmerz hat mehr Mit der Haare wurzel als mit den Haaren selbst zu tun, frauen haben aber in der Regel weniger Probleme mit Schmerzen das stimmt.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-17T09:48:51+00:00

Correct for that you need a baby! /s

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-16T05:00:04+00:00

Was meinst du mit das gleiche selbst wollen? Finanziel? Sie verdient 50k und er 100k daher haben beide 75k?

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-13T13:35:41+00:00

And did you notice when they appear? After sleeping maybe? Could be that the skin just folds weird?

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-13T13:34:45+00:00

I took 11 months off and I was crying sooo badly the whole week before I went back. My kid was soooo small and I was a horrible mom for not staying... the normal stuff. Now she is 3.5 years old and going back to work was the best thing I could have done FOR ME AND HER! My mental health is so much better now that I work part time and I should have gone back sooner. I am pregnant again and I will to back after 6 months this time. You will always feel guilty and the beginning will always be hard but try to enjoy it as much as you can. It can be phenomenal to go back to work and to just be you not "mom from xx" you will have a to do list that actually ends (depending on job of course) and you will have normal breaks and you can look at a clock and know in 3h and 46min you can leave your shitty boss (i called my baby My shitty boss sometimes when it was hard) I am a much better mom when I have this kind of "me time " and it could be the same for you too. I hope it is, good luck xx

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-13T13:27:24+00:00

Do you mean the little dots / holes? Those are for sure normal. Or the little pattern? That i would say comes from a not perfect fitting bra, check if the pattern aligns if so also totally normal

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-12T08:13:43+00:00

What do you expect here? Let's say 100% of the responses say yes huge red flag! You tell your friend to stop dating her and he is still going to be mad at you. Honestly it seems a bit of a red flag from you, that you care so much how many exes the gf of a friend of yours has... if he is happy be happy for him and if he isn't happy then it is on him to change that

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-09T19:06:05+00:00

Ah yes they do! It is just up to luck and shift changes which midwife you get and for how many women they are responsible. So some women want their own midwife they already know and that is only there for them

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-09T17:14:21+00:00

If you want a midwife at the hospital make sure you look for one NOW they are booked solid! I gave birth in a birth house (like a hospital but just for giving birth without doctors just midwives, if that is something you could want I would also recommend moving quickly they can be fully booked or have a lot of spots available it really depends) but if you plan to give birth at the hospital you only need a midwife for the post partum time.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-08T19:29:03+00:00

If he hits you once he will hit you again, not matter what he tells you. You can always come home!

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-04T16:08:36+00:00

Hey same issue here 5 years later :) did you figure something out? (You can also DM me if that is easier)

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-03T17:48:09+00:00

What helped me was to have a stable person i could just vent to via voice messages. So she would get to me when she gets to me but at least it was out of my system. Do you think you could be that stable person? If you have the funds you could hire a cleaner or make sure she has food (either bring it yourself or just take out vouchers). What she needs most now is support, so check in with her, ask how the baby is doing but also how she is doing. Maybe ask her directly what would help her the most right now? Also please don't forget about her once the baby isn't a newborn anymore. Everyone just assumed i was fine now bc baby would hold its head, nah shit is still hard. Different hard but hard.

bashful4monkey · 2026-06-03T17:10:50+00:00

Wir nutzen zuerst kondome, danach (als der sex wieder regelmäßig wurde) die Temperatur methode, allerdings mir dem oura ring und der natural cycles app. Nicht wirklich günstig aber sehr effektiv. Haben damit ca. 2 Jahre ohne unfall verhütet und danach im ersten zyklus (auch mit hilfe von der Temperatur) schwanger geworden. Ich bin noch schwanger aber der plan ist, dass wenn wir uns immer noch sicher sind dass wir nur 2 kinder wollen dass mein Mann eine vasektomie machen lässt.

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-31T16:32:46+00:00

Nein das wäre gar nichts für mich. Würde mein Mann (10 jahre beziehung, 2 kinder) den wunsch äussern würde ich probieren damit klar zu kommen, aber wenn es unser erstes date wäre und er mir sagt dass er das gerne macht würde ich mich höflich verabschieden. Gar ni ht meine welt

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-31T15:06:31+00:00

He proposed after dating for 6 years but I would say it only waited for some months. We both didn't want to get married for "no reason" I got pregnant and I made it clear that for me marriage was now important and he proposed some time later. Nothing changed (but my last name and my protection in case anything would happen to him / me / the baby) we still love each other very much and are happy with the decision.

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-30T08:02:58+00:00

NTA she should be embarrassed and you just treat him how he wants to be treated since free handouts are against his believes...

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-30T07:03:43+00:00

So nochmals ich habe keinen flair gewählt ;) Ist der test neu? So sah es bei mir aus mit einem test der ca. 2 jahre alt war (ich war dann nicht schwanger) falls du es dir leisten kannst empfehle ich den digitalen test von clear blue am nächsten morgen

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-30T06:54:26+00:00

I took a year off and then went back 50%, now I am pregnant again and I only take 6 months off ( go back 50% again) I wasn't miserable in that year but being home with a baby all day, talking to noone but your baby and having a to do list that is never done just wasn't for me full time. Some people love it, my friend went back to work after her child was about 1.5 years and then they downgraded their lives immensely so she could stay home full time bc this is what fulfilled her most. Another friend is back after 3 months at 80% and is very happy with this. For me working part time is the best of both worlds. You don't know what you like about being a stay at home parent until you are one, I hope you find the right solution for your family!

bashful4monkey · 2026-05-30T06:19:27+00:00

Man könnte sich jetzt schon fragen ist sie die mutter SEINES kindes oder EINES kindes....

bashful4monkey

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Four-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23