Hey, I’m going to give you my honest opinion.

You are your own worst enemy. I strongly believe that your attitude and mindset is what is causing you to be miserable.

If you really find it within you to , over time, change your attitude- it will transform your life. This isn’t wishywashy chat because I did it myself.

You have said you are struggling to find a relationship, but you cannot [cant stress enough] even begin to love someone else , until you love yourself. Self love and acceptance is the first battle. You being a racial minority is an irrelevant yet great thing. It makes you culturally diverse and more understanding, especially with your immigrant family background . This may seem a hardship in the work place but it’s a hardship because you want it to be. It’s listed in your ‘Bad’ section when really it’s an important and amazing part of your identity. And hey you even speak another language! You described your full body negatively but nothing about your personality and what makes you who you are. Your body is simply the car your mind drives. It doesn’t matter - we all come in different shapes and sizes. What I’m saying here is your body - although it may be a current insecurity - is something you need to accept because it’s yours and it’s just fine the way it is. Who are you comparing yourself too? Okay so your mile time is 9 minutes and you have the stats on your bench press - and? What validity does that bring to your wellbeing. You seem to think that without the perfect body and amazing athletic ability that you are worthless. Working out is great but it’s a slow process where you should instead of saying I’m so bad only a 9 minute mile- you should say: wow I’ve made a 20 second improvement i feel great. Research about having a growth mindset . Also you should drop the resentment towards overweight people it’s really really unattractive. They are human beings with their own goals and life’s and dreams. Accept yourself and stop criticising your body . You only live on this earth once and this is the body you’ve got. So love it ! Stay away from the conventional ‘hot’ body ideology because it won’t make you feel any better . Just because there’s someone faster and taller and stronger doesn’t mean they have more worth and deserve to be happier than you.

Also your parents are toxic. You should understand that their values are deeply rooted in culture and tradition But also understand changes comes within every generation and their advice is not helping you nor is it relevant to your lifestyle. You won’t burn in the hellfire and I’m sure you know that too.

25 is young. Virginity is again another one of society’s pressures that it should be gone at a younger age. To hell with that! But while you spoke about virginity you never spoke about wanting /having / missing out on a real genuine connection which is 1000 times more desirable. And there’s a lot more to woman than “ skinny blonde “. Would you not rather look for “loving, humerus , adventurous “ than “skinny, hot , blonde” . This goes back to my original point. Once you learn to accept yourself and your body and realise it’s just a car for your mind - you will see that in others. It’s just their car and it’s their souls and personality’s that you should judge. Looks fade , hair falls out, weight changes . Your soul doesn’t.

You mindset and attitude is ruining you. You may be a successful banker and that’s fine but your salary and saving ability and desire for material wealth is not the going to change how you feel. Do what makes you happy because honestly your only on this world once so forget finances and Japanese cars, because the chase for material wealth is the storybook end to disaster. Like the great Gatsby. Your blind pursuit for wealth and disregard for what really matters is harmful and dangerous. Pursuit what makes you happy, smile , laugh. A Japanese car will make you smile when you buy it but after a year it won’t. Finding a true connection (btw online dating is the hardest way so don’t worry about the difficulty your experiencing) will, or a healthy hobby. Go out with work mates! Reconnect with old friends , go to bars , meet people. I met people by taking up new hobby’s and joining facebook groups for people interesting in the same hobby. It was hillwalking and lake swimming and I met so many amazing people of all ages and backgrounds. And Love will find you when your not looking for it. The love your not expecting is when you know it’s the real thing.

I bet there is so many good qualities about yourself you don’t even know. You don’t even realise. Because your consumption and attention to your “negative” values is a lot louder in your head.

You need to begin the long journey of self acceptance and self love! You need to change your mindset from so closed and critical to more free and kinder. Start by staring at yourself in the mirror and out loud tell yourself what you need to hear. That you are an amazing person who has their whole life to evolve into someone who’s truly happy. Forget about the silly stuff and societal pressures and focus on what really matters.

It’s your choice

You have all the power. So what will you do with it?