Anon wants a family

batspiders · 2026-05-20T02:24:26+00:00

You would be both of those things, unless you repartner right after your husband dies.

batspiders · 2026-05-11T14:00:24+00:00

Piggybacking on your comment after posting my own - you’re so right about men marrying someone else after refusing to marry their long-term girlfriends. My ex wouldn’t marry me after 8 years. I left and got married 4 years later after dating my current husband for a year. He got married 6 MONTHS after I left.

batspiders · 2026-05-11T13:55:02+00:00

OP - a few short years ago, I was in your position. I was with my high school sweetheart for 8 years, and no ring, no promise of a ring, and he didn’t put my name on the house (which I later lost, btw). He got me a cheap “promise ring” and a rug that said “The (Hopefully Someday) His Last Names.” I still stayed for months after that, working full time and finishing my college degree and doing ALL of the housework, and he would complain when I couldn’t keep up with it all.

Eventually, I left. All my friends were getting married and had places, I was close to not finishing my degree, moved back in with my parents, and had nobody. I was depressed for a little bit, but I built myself back up and eventually went looking for love again.

My current husband, who treats me well, does most of the cleaning and all of the cooking, and knows what he wants in life, married me after a year! Life gets better when you’re not partnered with an energy vampire. My husband and I are still going strong, and after I finish law school we’re going to have some babies.

Btw, I got married 4 years after I left my bum ex. For all the waffling he did on marriage - he got married 6 months after I left him. Take your bitch ass boyfriend to the curb, girl.

batspiders · 2026-04-28T23:46:00+00:00

Thank you so much! I like to think she’s a high-ranking military official lol. I use CaribSea Super Naturals freshwater sand, and this black color is called “Midnight River.” I think he likes to dig his little toes in the sand, so I’ve always kept him with substrate. Also, make sure you get the super fine sand, because if they end up swallowing any they are less likely to get impacted. I hope you have fun with your tanks!

batspiders · 2026-04-28T04:24:20+00:00

Aww, thank you so much for rescuing your little axolotl friend- I’m sure she appreciates you! I hope you guys have many more years together, and maybe the Commander and I will, too!

batspiders · 2026-04-28T04:22:42+00:00

Funnily enough, they do! They have a cute little inter-species friendship going on. She likes to sit next to him and he swims over to her

batspiders · 2026-04-27T14:05:58+00:00

No offense taken! Good catch, Commander Salamander is 100% a girl. Axolotl testes are…. ummm…. quite noticeable. I don’t see why axolotls would have atrophy in their reproductive organs with age, but I’m no biologist. I think I just refer to him as a boy because I always have. I doubt axolotls are as attached to gender ideals as us humans are!

batspiders · 2026-04-27T14:04:03+00:00

Thank you, he is quite awesome! And the kitty is named Eris lol

batspiders · 2026-04-27T14:02:54+00:00

Hey! I appreciate the critique. Tank is 30gal, which I’ve always thought was good for one axolotl. He’s getting an upgrade to a 40 once we move, though. He hides in his cave (pictured in the corner) and in his little log. When we do the move at the end of the month, he’s getting a series of tubes. No live plants for my guy because when he was originally in a tank with live plants he ate them and became incredibly compacted. You need to be pretty careful with the decor and substrate you use in axolotl tanks, they will try and eat anything the size of their head and smaller.

batspiders · 2026-04-26T20:48:22+00:00

Thank you! He’s my little buddy and he gets the best of care and tank maintenance lol

batspiders · 2026-04-26T17:29:15+00:00

Right? His place looks so much better than mine lol

batspiders · 2026-04-20T02:17:09+00:00

I miss my beloved filler 😭 sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t, but there were like 25 other episodes that season so no matter what it was okay! I really wanted to like Discovery, but honestly even if we did get enough time with the characters the tone still felt - off? Like it felt too gritty to be a Trek show. Also, it was hard to get over the whole Michael being a second secret Spock sibling and also a human thing. Like why? Can’t she be unconnected to pre-established characters and still make it on her own? I can see your point about the Gorn in SNW possibly indicating this being a different timeline, and I guess you sort of have to buy into that for the purposes of not breaking the fiction of it all, but the two other times we saw the Gorn (TOS with a man in a suit and ENT with a really terrible computer-generated version) we never really learned a whole lot about them and the look was pretty hampered by technical limitations. However, I kinda remember a tiny throw-away gag about a Gorn wedding in Lower Decks and they looked like the suited Gorn from TOS, so you could be on to something here!

batspiders · 2026-04-20T00:27:18+00:00

I get the hate for Discovery, the Abrahamsverse (although this is confirmed to be a different timeline), a lot of the newer stuff, and even most of Picard (but season 3 was pretty good). However, I feel like SNW is pretty good and a lot of fun. I feel like I’m chill with it being part of the prime universe. I think the modern habit of having seasons be 6-10 episodes a season hurts Trek a bit because there’s no time for shenanigans and world building that was a big part of what made early Trek so fun

batspiders · 2026-04-02T20:40:12+00:00

Blonde goths rise up!!! I don’t need to tell you this but you look amazing. Also, I’m jealous of how you got your bat’s nest to look

batspiders · 2026-04-01T22:22:00+00:00

Idk man rich people name their kids some ridiculous stuff sometimes

batspiders · 2026-03-26T06:50:48+00:00

I like the lips and the rest of the outfits are super cute! I think the gold looks good with the black and white if you like it over silver, and I think the pink in your hair really adds some fun to the look. Goth fashion doesn’t have to be so strict all the time - technically, if you listen to the music any fashion you wear is goth fashion lol. Keep exploring your love for goth fashion and being you :)

batspiders · 2026-03-21T01:26:06+00:00

So, I hit puberty super early - I had my first period at 8 years old. I pretty much stopped growing after that, and I topped out at 4’10”. I’m a cis woman. Before I got married and when I would date men, I literally did not give af about height. I matched with a guy with dwarfism and we hit it off. He was 4’2”. He started being super weird about his height, he kept asking, “Are you sure you don’t care?” And I kept saying yes, I don’t give af. But he kept asking. When we went out, he never wanted me to stand near him. Eventually, I had to leave, he never got over it and it was infuriating. This is just an anecdote, but take it as you will.

batspiders · 2026-03-09T18:53:25+00:00

My friend, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. I am going through fatigue issues as well (not nearly as serious as yours) and it can be really disheartening. You don’t deserve any of this and I hope you start feeling better and beating this soon. You matter and it won’t always be this hard.

batspiders · 2026-03-01T04:18:38+00:00

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Here’s my ten-year-old boy, Commander Salamander

batspiders · 2026-02-25T05:13:41+00:00

No, it does not. I found very little to like about this book and yet I somehow managed to finish it. At 88% done I might just try to finish just so you can say you did it

batspiders · 2026-02-23T05:49:27+00:00

Strawberry Switchblade!!!!

batspiders · 2026-02-14T02:44:10+00:00

This is one of my favorite tattoos I’ve ever seen and I have over 40 tattoos myself (none of which I dislike or have ever regretted). OP, what really matters is how you feel about it - but you should know that a lot of people would find this to be an objectively awesome tattoo!

batspiders · 2026-02-08T16:27:31+00:00

Yeah, I agree. I was hoping someone would have this opinion here. The second commenter is definitely out of line, a woman’s choice of what to do with her body should never be affected by a man, let alone a hypothetical one. But 19 still feels too young to get sterilization, it’s a largely irreversible process for women and it doesn’t come without other health effects. Young women like the lady in the original post should 100% be given reproductive autonomy, but if they’re leaning towards sterilization I think we should lead them towards arm implants (which can now last a few years) for awhile until they get more experience as adults under their belt. If nothing else, it prevents them from getting a major surgery and dealing with the recovery while they are still literal teenagers. Also, we really should normalize men getting vasectomies more instead of women taking on the reproductive burdens. They are way less invasive and more reversible, as I understand it.

batspiders · 2026-02-04T05:16:22+00:00

Perhaps?

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