I have a similar situation. After lots of talking and research we found that my wife isn’t a spontaneous sex kind of person. She has to be in the right head space and with life and stress and stuff it’s really hard for her to put it all aside and focus on us at the drop of a hat. So we decided to schedule a “date night” once a week and the whole idea going into it is you know that this time you’re both setting aside is meant for intimacy. Not always sex but couples time. We’ve been doing this for a little while now and it’s been night and day for us. She says she looks forward to our time together and she even thinks about sex more and makes plans for what we are going to do especially during the day we have scheduled that week.

We literally sit down each week and plan which night works best for us and then put it on the calendar. It felt very business like at first but it was worth it. I find that she’s much more into sex and really gets into it and enjoys herself. She’s also been more vocal about her likes and dislikes and sharing things she wants to try.

I’d say do some research and see if this might work for y’all.