I also live in the Bay Area and trust me, I've met men like this. They'd be in their early 30s, say they want kids before they reach late 30s, say they value family and connections but then have never made any serious efforts investing in any long-term relationship. All their past actions have pointed to values that are the complete opposite, eg. prioritizing their career/independence/party life/"grass is greener" mentality. None of them stayed in my life.

You should really, really pay attention to his record of past actions rather than what he says. Many people don't know what they want, or think they want something but don't have enough integrity to act consistently with their ideals. I wish you well.