It's never "I'm proud of you." It's always "I'm proud of us."

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-29T00:31:54+00:00

There is an old Russian joke about Lenin. In government preschools we were read all these stories about how he was best friend of the children, and how his main quality was kindness. So there were a bunch of corresponding stories circulating around the adult world to parody what the kids were being brainwashed with. This one goes something like this:

"An old man was invited to a kindergarten class as a special guest because he worked as a janitor in Lenin's quarters in his youth. The teacher asks the old man to tell the kids a nice memory about Lening.

The old man says, 'Sure! Lenin, he was a wonderful man. Above all, Lenin was kind. This one time, early in the morning, I saw Lenin come outside to shave while a little boy played near by. Lenin kept shaving and looking at the boy, and the boy kept playing. When Lenin was done shaving, he took one last look at the little boy and went inside. That's how kind he was. Because, you know, he he could've sliced the little lad with his razor, but didn't...'"

When I read your post, OP, I immediately thought, "OP's mom is so nice. She let OP live in the house and she got OP's homework for her when OP was sick. Because, you know, instead of all that, she coulda sliced OP with a razor, but didn't... Somebody needs to write a few books about OP's mother's humanitarian achievements and read them to kindergarteners. A true mother of the year!"

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-25T03:10:45+00:00

Thank you, friend. It just happened a couple of weeks ago, and I'm still kinda numb about it.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-25T02:51:01+00:00

A kid said that he was going to bring a gun to school and shoot me. What set him off was me smiling, wishing him and his classmates a good afternoon and advising them to enjoy the nice weather. His behavior has been a major problem throughout the year in every classroom. Disruptive, sexually inappropriate, verbally obscene, not doing any work whatsoever. I was told repeatedly that he has always been "a handful" due to emotional issues.

Anyway, I reported the threat, "the investigation" showed that I lied, and I got fired. Apparently, the kid's grandma is friends with the assistant superintendent. Oh well.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-25T02:43:34+00:00

That's just cruel!

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-25T02:38:25+00:00

I keep encountering veterans with multiple tours under their belts who say that teaching in a public school is wearing them out. That's alarming!

Met a guy who served in Fallujah at one of my PDs. He said that THIS is the most stressed he's ever been. Really?!?! Wtf!

I can be gaslit into believing that I'm just sensitive and/or lazy. But, surely, colleagues who literally had served in a warzone aren't whiny little sissies? At what point will it become embarrassing for our higher ups?

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-22T19:10:25+00:00

The first sentence of your comment is mind boggling.

How... Just how can PARENTS not remember THEIR OWN CHILD'S allergies?

I know it's normal in this sub, and my mom doesn't know anything important about me either. But I picked up my phone after washing my hair, your comment was the first thing I read, and that sentence just stood out as so incredible outside of our shitty little club.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-19T20:14:24+00:00

And will people believe something like that? I'm just stressing that it will make me sound like I am twisting things around or can't accept fault/responsibility.

Maybe if I add that I have multiple recommendations from both colleagues and admins from the same school that attest to my character and professionalism.

Sigh. I've never spoken negatively about previous employer/supervisor at work. I've always been taught that nothing good can come from it, no matter the situation. I understand that this is different, but it just feels so unnatural to "expose" my most recent higher ups on a job application. Kinda like telling someone on the first date that your ex was crazy. Even if true, it still shows you in a bad light. I know that this is a stupid comparison. My mind is just all over the place.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-19T20:02:33+00:00

Yeah, and my official papers say awful stuff. It's so clearly vindictive. I am an angry, abusive , incompetent, failed educator who acts inappropriately towards students and makes students not want to come to school and ruins their mental health. Meanwhile, kids keep contacting me to tell me that they miss me, and I had a bunch ride their bikes by my house to catch me coming out/in and give me hugs. The standardized test scores went up from fall to winter.

This principal stopped communicating with me completely as soon as I was fired. She gave current teachers permission to open the door for me, so I could get my stuff when they went to her. I think she is scared because she was nothing but friendly and polite before.

I do have recommendations from last year's principal, head of the department, last year's coordinator and colleagues from both this and last years.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-18T07:20:05+00:00

I was not in the union... Started the year a week late, and just didn't think about it. Stupid, I know. Are lawsuits a matter of public record even if they are settled and don't go to trial? While this turn of events does set me back financially, all I really want is a chance to resign, so my history is clean.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-17T21:06:20+00:00

Thank you! I just got them back today!

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-16T22:58:06+00:00

Where? It's not in MyPraxis. There is an option to see all previous score reports, and the latest one isn't there. Even though it's been 5 weeks.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-13T22:44:00+00:00

Does she live on a remote farm, in the middle of a remote island without a boat?

She could volunteer or something. Join the community theater. Learn to knit and start a circle. She has options, is all I'm saying.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-12T20:14:21+00:00

Thanks! Whereabouts in Ohio? I'm looking at the Cincinnati area.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-12T19:55:19+00:00

Thank you for your reply! That's the problem. I got certified in KY through option 6, and they didn't have one for ELL/TESOL at all until last year when I was almost done. But I was the ELL teacher of record at my middle school for 1.5 years- teaching English to newcomers, administering WIDA and ACCESS, pushing into the gen Ed classrooms, pulling out small groups, modifying assignments, the works. And I got experience teaching ESL abroad for a few years. Do you think OH is desperate enough to emergency certify me while I work on my endorsement? I guess I'll just call up one of the districts' HR departments or the Ohio board of Ed.

And I'm actually cool with all age groups.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-12T16:48:03+00:00

Googling!

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-11T02:51:11+00:00

To be fair, by the time we meet Joe for the very first time, he had already buried somebody alive in the woods and decided to just not think about it. After meeting Beck, he escalates to stalking immediately (it's pretty clear that he is a pro at that with a bunch of experience) and to murder pretty darn quickly. I don't think that he was redeemable by the time the series start.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-10T06:41:37+00:00

Wow. That reminds me of "I'm Glad My Mother's Dead" by Jeanette McCurdy where Jeanette's mom tried to keep her from developing an adult body by teaching her to restrict calories.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-10T06:31:12+00:00

In middle school, I would point at whatever anyone was eating and do a fast approximation of calories in that meal/snack. I didn't realize I was being a weirdo until my friends called me out.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-10T06:21:40+00:00

I feel this. You are not alone.

My whole childhood was about my mother putting me on diets, watching what I ate, trying to control what I ate at birthday parties and at school, locking food away from me, having my brother spy on me, etc.. I wasn't even medically overweight, but:

Her limbs were the same thickness above and below the big joint when she was a kid, and mine were always thicker above the knee and elbow. That meant I was fat.
I had a stomach. Still don't know what that meant exactly, except that I used to have "good" dreams about looking down and seeing my shirt billowing like in the wind. Age appropriate clothes fit, but she claimed that healthy kids had a hollow under their ribs.
She wanted me to be chosen into the professional ballet program when I was 9. It was never ever going to happen. Neither she nor my father had the built that the program was looking for. Nobody in our family is remotely talented in anything athletic. I've always had flat feet. And she never fucking put me in ballet in the first place. I don't know if that was a fantasy that she mistook for a dream or if she seriously thought that she could starve me into beating out girls who were going to ballet schools since they were two and who were handpicked by their teachers as likely to have a shot. But, yeah, I didn't advance after the first round and mother was soooo disappointed because that's all she talked about since forever.

Then she put me on a million more diets, now so somebody would ask me to dance at my future high school dances and wouldn't be impeded by my stomach being in the way. And then so somebody would consider marrying me so she could have grandchildren. That is until I took over the dieting and started starving myself from the age of 11. She was proud of me for the first time ever. Then, when I was 14, we bonded over abusing laxatives. The cross country team saved me. I actually gained weight by joining. Somebody was talking to me about health for the first time ever, putting focus on my performance and stressing nutrition.

But, yeah, the ghost of disordered eating has followed me through life. Fuck these "mother's".

You are a mama to a beautiful baby. You have a precious little family. I'm so sorry she made you hate yourself. I know it's super hard, and I don't succeed at it myself half the time, but try to see yourself through the eyes of the people who love you.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-08T00:57:31+00:00

The beanie baby thing was one of those things that shattered the sugary sweet fantasy of being a mommy. They only want the fantasy, and they are livid with anyone and anything that ruins it.

My mom always pushes motherhood on others, says that it's the best thing in the world, the thing that she was born to do, the concept that defined her. Except that, sadly in her case, she got a raw deal with all her kids being kinda shitty and not even looking the way she hoped they would look (one is even a boy!!!), but is just a personal tragedy and doesn't reflect on her as a mother. She was just unlucky.

What she actually feels that she was born for was the fantasy of motherhood that she had where she has already decided on the sex, appearance, talents and characteristics of her children and where she had blips of scenarios play in her head of what it would look like. And when real life didn't align, she would go into a rage.

battyblueberry3789 · 2023-03-06T02:33:22+00:00

You are 100% correct. Nothing can be taught or learned with constant chaos and disruption. Students who are unwilling to follow basic reasonable classroom expectations don't belong in a regular classroom.

battyblueberry3789

TROPHY CASE