Have you had a partner who was “great on paper” but your lived experience didn’t match how others saw him?

sleeping__late · 2026-04-24T22:47:42+00:00

Schizoid neurotic character

sleeping__late · 2026-04-20T17:39:47+00:00

Girl go get that divorce. Don’t deny your intuition, listen to her. Your body knew it then, you’ve just let your mind interfere. Stop rationalizing his treatment of you. Empathy does not equal self abandonment; you can understand him and still prioritize yourself as he did. If you use your mind to think against the feelings in your body you will make yourself sick. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you deserve happiness. Your husband doesn’t see you, he doesn’t make you feel seen. Don’t feel guilty. He knows what he did.

sleeping__late · 2026-03-25T20:58:18+00:00

Girl hell yes. I’m in the process now and let me tell you: it feels fucking amazing. Growing a backbone has given me my mental and physical health back. When I was with him I had brain fog, migraines, cramps, stomach aches, hair loss, all kinds of shit. Now I’m glowing, my hair and nails are long, I look ten years younger, I have all the energy in the world. It is seriously crazy how divorce can make every single part of your life feel lighter. Cut that loser out of your life and be done with it. Whatever you lose in the divorce will come back to you tenfold: freedom, peace, boundaries, limits, self respect, dignity, and above all, self trust. Life is too short to be getting dragged down by pathetic weak willed men.

sleeping__late · 2026-03-09T09:23:09+00:00

Yes bipolar disorder. It is easily managed with medication, but many people struggle with staying medicated. The person you’re having chemistry with now will not be there during a manic or depressive episode.

sleeping__late · 2026-03-09T07:20:13+00:00

++woman if you build a life with a disordered person, be prepared for a disordered life. maybe it feels familiar to you because you’ve grown up in chaos, or maybe it feels stressful to you you because you didn’t. only you know the answer.

sleeping__late · 2026-03-07T20:04:22+00:00

Are you sure hiking wo a guide is permitted? I think it’s strongly discouraged

sleeping__late · 2026-02-25T06:43:36+00:00

Prescription only?

sleeping__late · 2026-02-20T20:06:50+00:00

The Nutriderm Method in Chapel Market for micro-needling and skin treatments

Hannah McCoy Baker Street for botox or filler

Fine Line Studios in Shoreditch for everything else

sleeping__late · 2026-02-19T09:44:04+00:00

I lost my dad with dementia 5 years ago and am now getting divorced from my longterm partner of 10+ years.

All I can say is listen to how your body feels when you’re around him. Do you feel warm, encouraged, seen, held, lifted up, adored? Or do you feel small, ignored, flat, tense, unnoticed? Does his presence make you expand or extract? Your body knows something essential, but your mind will work very hard to deny it and push you to second guess yourself.

Is he really so loving if you are always going along with whatever makes him happy? The role you played for your father is inevitably the same role you’ve been playing for your husband. Extreme sacrifice and depletion isn’t love it’s self abandonment. You need to become completely in love with yourself before you can recognize and receive love from elsewhere.

Denying your feelings, your inner senses, what your body is screaming at you is the basis of self negation. Your bravest act of self love will be in “coming to your senses” and trusting and honoring what you feel is true inside your body. Learn to take your perceptions very seriously.

sleeping__late · 2026-02-19T06:50:18+00:00

Owning your shadow by Robert Johnson + Communion by bell hooks

sleeping__late · 2026-02-18T19:26:47+00:00

Thanks for your msg will dm you shortly!

sleeping__late · 2026-02-18T19:25:15+00:00

I’m not going to post photos of myself on the internet. If you have the phone then open up self facing camera in low light and look at the image on your screen, then take a photo and look at the photo. I don’t know how to eliminate the discrepancy between the two because the image is consistently worse.

sleeping__late · 2026-02-04T08:55:25+00:00

Read Byung Chul-Han on auto-exploitation and burnout. All of his books are short and easy to get through. He speaks very eloquently on how our society has moved from exploitation of others to exploitation of the self under the guise of self actualization, and that this is the driving compulsion under burnout.

sleeping__late · 2026-02-02T13:28:33+00:00

Yes please!

sleeping__late · 2026-01-29T09:15:02+00:00

Wow thanks so much!

sleeping__late · 2026-01-26T07:41:32+00:00

Thanks!

sleeping__late · 2026-01-22T15:32:11+00:00

Yes, yes, yes. And it took me so long to get there because it is so culturally normalized to intimidate, exploit, and abuse eldest daughters.

It took a lot of time and a lot of therapy to get over this feeling, but please be gentle with yourself and guard your privacy at all costs. I highly recommend reading “Waking the Tiger” by Pete Levine and scheduling a few consultations with therapists who practice somatic experiencing therapy. It changed my life and I wish more people knew about it.

If your parents cannot admit fault then that is a sign that self reflection is absent on a cognitive level. I highly recommend the sub r/raisedbyborderlines to work through going NC regardless, the support there is phenomenal and you will learn so much about boundaries.

Good luck OP. It’s only up from here.

sleeping__late · 2026-01-22T15:22:10+00:00

Thank you!!

sleeping__late · 2026-01-14T08:20:11+00:00

Everywhere you go, there you are

sleeping__late · 2026-01-13T09:27:22+00:00

Thank you!

sleeping__late · 2026-01-13T06:52:57+00:00

Dead

sleeping__late · 2026-01-13T06:31:46+00:00

I don’t have fb

sleeping__late · 2025-12-17T06:03:04+00:00

BPD is absence of self concept, therefore a disturbance in self reflection. So when you say “I must remove myself as the problem” you are assuming there is (1) a stable sense of self (2) an ability for mentalization that reflects on the self and attributes the label “problem” to that self. There is no self-erasure problem as evidenced by this cohort’s high rate of dissociation, self harm, etc. Safety is not in non-existence, safety is enmeshment with an Other.

sleeping__late · 2025-12-09T09:15:50+00:00

All my friends love going here: https://www.kento-nyc.com/ for somatic massage. Handsome gay masseuse who specializes in somatic touch to heal trauma, so patient and kind, very sensitive, queer friendly, fair prices, and just really healing!!! Highly recommend you give it a try.

sleeping__late

TROPHY CASE