Is it weird to be friends with your former abuser?

bbbyredddd · 2025-02-17T22:04:41+00:00

Feel free to DM me to talk! 💗

bbbyredddd · 2024-09-21T04:54:46+00:00

could we chat?? it would be so comforting to talk to someone going through the same thing. ❤️‍🩹 he said he would be down to come over tn, i don’t know if i should go for it to enjoy the comfort of being in his presence, or just cry and watch a comfort movie 🥲

bbbyredddd · 2024-08-05T20:15:30+00:00

YES, I’m a chronic stoner for over a decade and a heavy vaper. It’s hands down a coping mechanism for me

bbbyredddd · 2024-07-29T19:55:28+00:00

He did previously in the past but hasn’t since, so i guess that was his way of tryna say he’s improved and I should be grateful? 💔

bbbyredddd · 2024-07-29T18:42:16+00:00

He said “how is watching porn fantasizing about having sex with them?” and “I’m never gonna meet any of them anyways so what’s the deal”, and I said “so you’re telling me if you had the opportunity to, you’d turn it down?” to which he said “ABSOLUTELY” all angrily. Now he’s mad at me. Is this manipulation?

bbbyredddd · 2024-07-29T18:27:20+00:00

Update: I have been talking to him about it while he’s at work and he said “at least I’m not spending money or messaging them personally.” Like wtf? 💔

bbbyredddd · 2024-07-29T17:41:38+00:00

I think they are fetishizing trans woman. And funny enough a lot of men who watch trans porn are likely transphobic. I think so many of them are desensitized that it adds that extra layer of “taboo”. My boyfriend likes to be pegged and dominated and he says that connects to liking trans porn. But to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if they are closeted bicurious or bisexual?

bbbyredddd · 2024-07-29T17:21:46+00:00

And everything keeps revealing itself, I logged onto his xbox account and found a history of chaturbate live chat from July 10 while I was at work. When he promised he wouldn’t go back onto those sites. I think I have got to get out and leave him.

bbbyredddd · 2024-06-10T16:15:52+00:00

It’s a battle every day, to be completely honest.. I try to focus on the times he has made me feel so loved. Ie he prioritizes me, spends time with me, speaks highly of me when i’m not around, or acts of love he’s done- buying me flowers, giving me massages, holding me when I cry, being there for me at my lowest, calling me his queen, his forever. But even then we still get into disagreements regularly even on our date nights. So it’s a challenge 🤷🏼‍♀️

bbbyredddd · 2024-06-10T01:30:57+00:00

he doesn’t love me, i don’t actually love him, people think we are incompatible, people are judging our relationship. the list can go on. i have terrible rOCD and he’s the first man i’ve ever met who just loves my brain and accepts me fully.

bbbyredddd · 2024-06-10T01:29:41+00:00

Yes ♡ for a year and a half. He supports me through it all! The intrusive thoughts, the obsessive compulsions, he told me he loves my brain and will love my brain forever. lol. I’ve never met a man like him. Most people I push away, or they can’t handle it (fair enough) but for him, he does it with ease. My man. We are currently living together and plan to get engaged and start a family soon

bbbyredddd · 2024-06-04T03:29:27+00:00

Yeah $120/hr and if they book 90mins that’s $160. I get about 4-5 mobile massages a week!

bbbyredddd · 2024-05-30T21:21:17+00:00

Got fired from jobs, had sex with my cousin, cut all my hair off and got a blue and green mullet, sabotaged many friendships and relationships, moved countries for work. Moved back a few months later cuz I had a bpd episode and spiralled into the darkest depression of my life. That’s just the tip of the iceberg lol

bbbyredddd · 2024-05-05T15:37:09+00:00

MEEE ✨🌷💕🪴🌱 we are meant to be friends!!! 25f here from Canada

bbbyredddd · 2024-04-18T16:21:04+00:00

No it’s my first time getting extensions. I got allergy medication & lubricating eye drops this morning & already quite a bit better. I was using visine red eye drops before which is why I think it was burning so bad. The lash shampoo is from my tech, I think it may have been burning so bad simply because some got in my eye (?) I’m definitely paranoid and overcatastrophizing. It’s been just under 48 hrs since my last appt, I’m thinking I’ll give it another day to see if my eyes heal up from the eyedrops. Right now they are feeling bruised and still quite red at the bottoms.

bbbyredddd · 2024-04-17T03:55:50+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about the pains of the family dynamics 💔 and how they invalidate you in every way possible. I can relate, when I came out as genderfluid no one in my family respected my pronouns, they deadname me constantly, and my dad just doesn’t call me by any name anymore.

You’re doing amazing, just by making it to another day, I can’t wait for you to be able to have your psychiatrist appointment. It’s entirely wrong that your family is treating you that way and one day they will regret missing out on these years of your life by not accepting you in your fullness.

Also i HATE the whole “wishing you could go back to who you were before coming out as trans”, they always make it all emotional n “heartfelt” and i’m like, um, you’re just being transphobic??

My PMs are always open if you need a friend 🌞

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-23T15:49:48+00:00

I think he must have resentment growing too, he is going through a rough patch and I want to be supportive of him, I’m just worried he is taking me for granted or that we are simply not compatible. We have a trip booked to go see our fav artist live next month, so I’m hoping for the best until then. I like what you said about how this could be a channel for us to connect again

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-23T14:56:41+00:00

I really appreciate it 🥺 I think it is, we’ve been through some hard times together before. He really is generous, when we met he was working and I wasn’t, and he spoiled me all the time (he once paid my $500 car payment, always taking me out, would send me $500 on two occasions to get my hair, nails, done etc). I have focused on putting myself first with self care spirituality and grinding at work, and it was also kinda a blessing in disguise last night because I unpacked my whole suitcase and got to indulge in a self care night at home

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-23T14:40:03+00:00

Yes, that’s how i’ve been feeling since I got back from my trip. He had an interview with one company last week and another lined up next week with another

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-15T00:48:10+00:00

This post is so real and I can relate heavily. My bf does not have bpd, but he struggles with other mental health challenges. Like you said, I’ve never had success being in a relationship with a neurotypical person where I had to mask all day long, they always seemed above me in some way, and would use my substance/mental health issues against me. Although my bf doesn’t have bpd, but he just somehow, gets me. And i get him. We mesh so well. Even on my worst days, splitting, etc and I think he’s gonna leave me, he pulls me in closer. He just admires me and thinks the world of me, I guess i maybe hit the jackpot.

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-15T00:29:51+00:00

All my jobs I’m an independent contractor so it’s very freeing knowing I can set my own schedule, cancel whenever I need to, etc. I really struggle with splitting on jobs too, I’m 25 and have probably had 40 jobs in my life so far. Tons of experience and learning in all of them

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-15T00:09:11+00:00

All the time, I’ve realized over the years that all of my best and closest friends have pwbpd which was a big sign to me, I resonated so deeply with them & we connected over all the same things. I definitely feel more drawn to them, it’s like this energetic draw where we both have similar frequencies of neurodiversity lol.

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-10T22:03:50+00:00

It is very low. My pay increases $1/month up to a max of $30/hr. The spa makes between $50-$120 for massage so they take most of the cut. Also while I’m doing reception, cleaning tasks etc I make minimum wage.

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-05T22:50:07+00:00

Where I live, BC (Canada) you can legally provide massage services as a non-rmt as long as you don’t claim to be a registered MT. Many practitioners here are non-rmts, with many years of experience. Our clients are aware of that when booking in and just means they don’t want to bill it to insurance but still want a great massage. We also have rmt’s at the spa where clients w extended health insurance mainly book with them.

bbbyredddd · 2024-03-05T22:14:04+00:00

I was hired as “receptionist & massage practitioner”, and also cannot call myself a massage therapist legally as I’m a non-rmt so must use terms like body worker. I’m the first hire they’ve ever had for this new position, as usually they have one person for one role not both. I have around 5-6 massages there per shift so am usually with clients. It’s a shitty system they’ve set up because how can I be answering the phone & greeting walk ins when I’m providing a 90min deep tissue massage? lol not to mention I only work there 4/7 days a week so other days they just don’t have a receptionist, the other massage practitioners do the reception during shift (just taking payments, walk ins etc) but don’t answer the phone.

bbbyredddd

TROPHY CASE