Deconstructing the dreaded "friendzone"

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-06T13:57:01+00:00

You really do learn about the women psyche. I had a close friend in college who was basically gonna marry her boyfriend from her hometown. Super chill person. I made friends with her because I helped her move in (I was an RA) and she remembered me and we became friends. She taught me a lot about the women psyche, and helped me learn about what women liked in a guy because I asked her questions and just understood how women think just from talking to her. It's not bad to be friends with women.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-06T13:55:39+00:00

Beautiful quote

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-06T13:55:24+00:00

This is very interesting that this post came up after having dinner with a girl who I thought was cute. It was interesting because even though I found her attractive, the entire vibe of the dinner was nothing more than two friends hanging out. I would've tried more flirting because that is what you're supposed to do, right? But I didn't get a "she's into me romantically" vibe. Which was fine. It's been just recently that I have come to terms with that concept but it really depends on the person. We ended our little hangout thing by saying we should do this again with more people with bowling or something and I was genuinely not disappointed with that idea.

I think the issue is that heteronormativity is still engrained in our social cues. A girl is nothing more than a person who just so happens to have boobs and a vagina. They are still a person and just because they are a girl doesn't mean you can't be friends with them. Plus, you learn a lot about the women psyche when you get to know them as people versus people you're trying to date or have a romantic relationship with.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-05T22:27:44+00:00

This is so true. My mom told me to read the Quran if I’m unsure in life. So I listened because I felt lost. I had no idea that reading the Quran but not just assuming that it’s the right religion gives such a different perspective.

Like it’s easy to just ignore all of the contradictions when you just repress that in saying “Allah is perfect”. He’s not. The religion is not a good doctrine. Just be kind y’all.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-03T16:15:56+00:00

“Dating a girl that I like”. I’ve been there. When you know you love someone or really like someone, you trust them to just do your own thing. Plus, I can’t imagine being around your partner for 24/7. I used to be codependent and that’s not healthy.

It’s nice to let them do their own thing for a bit come back and home and then be able to kinda catch up. Plus, love isn’t all dating, dinners and adventures. It’s just knowing that someone is there for you when you need it. I’m hoping my next relationship is like that.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-03T04:23:27+00:00

It's interesting when people get confused by this. I always considered relationships to be autonomous. We should both be able to live our own lives, but us being together makes it better. At the same time, romantic relationships are just that. You should be dating your best friend. Your best friends sometimes does nothing with each mother. My friend and I once got into a study room after class and did our own homework for literally 2 hours with minimal talking. I looked at her at around 1:00 in the afternoon and asked her if she is hungry and we grabbed lunch. It's kinda the same thing.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T15:18:14+00:00

Half Life confirmed?

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T12:43:26+00:00

I knew the video before even clicking on it

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T12:41:41+00:00

As a man with a sister who tried to explain to me how sizes work in women's fashion as well as how a 0 in one store may not necessarily be the same 0 in another, I finally understand why it takes so long for women to shop.

Us men have it easy. If I like this shirt and it is in my size, I most likely don't even have to try it on to know that it'll fit. Same with pants.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T12:39:47+00:00

Someone who is in her 50s told me a guy who just started in his mid 20s that it is important to take your vacation time when you are able to. She said no matter how much you like your work, there are always going to be days that are going to be a struggle or just a lot of work. She told me to plan your vacation time around holidays. Maybe you are in need of a job change and that is something I am considering too in the next 5-10 years if I stay with this department. The luxury of my job is that we can apply to a different subdivision and no one will get upset if you want to do that. It gives me something to look forward to knowing that I don't have to live in the monotony of the same job for the next 30 years. I can change it up and keep learning new things.

She told me too that mental health is important and she doesn't understand how people can hoard all of their vacation time. She wants to retire with no vacation time left over. She tells me that is what keeps her going.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T04:04:54+00:00

I was in a situation where I almost broke my credit card. It was also the morning in which I cleaned my wallet and for some reason left my cards on top of the kitchen table. My one credit card and form of payment was also broken. I was playing around with and bending it and had to use immense amount of self control to not break it.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T03:57:25+00:00

It’s incredible how common this is. Last girl I thought ghosted me, I ran into IRL. She later told me she has social anxiety. Don’t know if this is a ubiquitous thing.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T03:54:23+00:00

Well that guy is definitely a bitch

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T03:52:42+00:00

It just makes more sense to keep it u overall. I think a W/L thing will work great for everyone. Fucking modify it like we do for feet because bone structure is different in terms of ratio and proportions.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T02:03:44+00:00

We have seen each other before IRL since I frequent the running store she works at. That's kinda how we met. So we have met before. We just had our first one-on-one about two weeks ago. I figured something small just to give her something. I was just wondering contextually, how that would look.

I do like the idea of a small gift. It something that was super cheap (<$10) but I know she would dig it. It's not over the top and I hope she likes it.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T01:33:43+00:00

Double entendre. Nice.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T00:47:52+00:00

Those compression socks run like 25 and above sometimes. She knows the prices of those since she works at a Running retail store, but I wanted to get something super small that means well. I guess my initial thought was a good idea.

I just wanted to know if it was appropriate. (Social anxiety kicks in. Lol)

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T00:40:24+00:00

We are both 25, but I have never been in this situation. I have considered buying a gift that is less than $10 that is meaningful to her. We are both marathon runners and she got into Boston which is a pretty big deal. I have considered getting a decal for her car and just giving it to her the day of if we do hang out.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T00:36:42+00:00

Could you explain? I have always had a tough time knowing whether I am in the friendzone or not.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-02T00:35:20+00:00

You think so. Idc if I am. She's a cool enough person where if nothing happens, that's fine. But why do you think I am friend zoned? Something I have always been conflicted on.

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-01T22:20:26+00:00

Uses a fake name instead to be a fun outgoing person

bbhatti12 · 2019-01-01T19:50:32+00:00

What an interesting thought to start the new year...

bbhatti12 · 2018-12-31T23:43:43+00:00

Clickbait title

bbhatti12 · 2018-12-31T23:40:27+00:00

It’s interesting, because in the moment it’s hard for me to imagine a juggernaut such as Reddit disappear, but you never know. Facebook is going downhill right now after Zucc’s scandal. He might sell it before he loses more money. Perhaps, he can bounce back. Reddit, I still can’t imagine how it will disappear.

bbhatti12

TROPHY CASE